- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I recently got married on August 11th at a beautiful venue and the day couldn’t have been more perfect, except for one thing. My best friend, or should I now say, ex best friend. From the beginning, she wasn’t happy about the wedding, mainly because I couldn’t go out and party with her anymore. When we worked together, she would want to go out and have drinks three or more times a week plus weekends, and when I was single, I would meet her out, but once I was engaged and now married, going out for drinks all the time wasn’t and still isn’t feasible. She is a mother of three, so I would always ask her if it was affecting her marriage, and she would respond that her husband didn’t mind it, and thought she needed a drink after work, to mellow her out before going home. Once I found my husband, she didn’t like him. She would talk bad about him to me, and try to hook me up with other men, and even invite them secretly to lunch with her, so I would meet them. We have been friends for a very long time, so I asked her to be my maid of honor, and she accepted, but I didn’t realize what I was getting in to until now. She had hinted that her three boys would like to be in the wedding, so I told her I would love for them to be in it. I also, said they didn’t have to wear tuxedo’s but just a nice suit jacket, to keep costs down, but she wanted to go the tuxedo route since she thought the boys would look adorable in them. I had several appts to look at dresses and pick out items for the wedding, and she could never make the appt. So my fiance at the time and I, did all the planning…including picking out my wedding dress! She didn’t plan a bridal shower, even though she had mentioned it to the other girls in the wedding so I just decided to have everyone over to MY house, and she just created the games to play. She did provide a cake and tuna salad, but I paid for everything else, since she said she had to adhere to a budget, although she was still continuing to go out and drink with her new buddies at work. We would find time to have lunch together, but she was always negative about my fiance, or had some other drama going on in her life. The day of the wedding she started a fight with my fiance, her boys went wild at the reception, and then she approached me about getting money, since she had prepaid for the hair to be done for her and I. I was going to pay her the whopping $25 when I returned from the honeymoon, but never thought she would make a deal about it AT the actual wedding! Especially since she took 4 bottles of wine home, a centerpiece worth $150 and her bouquet that was handmade and just used for the ceremoney, that I had asked her to give back. After we returned from the honeymoon, I was so busy with moving my husband’s household items into my house, since we both own homes, and my mother got very ill, so I have spent many trips on the road to see her, which is 4 hours away. Due to my schedule, I had forgotten to send her the receipt for her shoes (that I paid for up front), and her response to that was “why would I have to pay for shoes I only wore for two hours, and don’t even like anyway”? Then she proceded to say that she spent over $800 towards the wedding, and wouldn’t pay another dime. I told her that was fine, and didn’t mean to cause any drama. The only expenses I could think of were the boy’s tuxes, which were her idea, and her dress, which was on clearance, so I wasn’t aware money was an issue until after the wedding, and she had NOT spent almost $800, it was more around $450, which seems like a lot of money, but again, it was her idea to have the boys in the tuxes which cost $100 each. Today she emails me and says that I have changed, because my husband controls me and won’t let me hang out with her. I found that statement very insulting, considering I haven’t had a chance to meet up with anyone due to my mother’s illness and moving. Her and I have been friends for 5 years, and I feel like we were only close when I was single, and now that I have a life, she seems upset by it. She still continues to go out and drink during the week, while her family is at home. I am so upset by her deameanor that I told her I didn’t think we should be friends anymore, since we have obviously grown apart. It’s sad that the most important day of my life, has ruined our friendship. Is anyone else going through this “friendship divorce”. I hate it, since we have been through a lot, but it’s hard to get over her attitude towards the wedding, my husband, money and now saying I’m controlled. She emailed back saying she doesn’t want this to ruin our friendship since we have been through so much, but I don’t see how we can get through this. I have been warned by several people, including some of her family members, not to trust her. I was told recently by ex co workers that she was bad mouthing me and my husband even before the wedding. I am hurt and now that she wants to work things out, I’m hesitant and feel like it’s best we both move on. Is anyone else going through this? Has anyone else had bridesmaids, or Maid of honors completely turned on you before and after the wedding?? I need advice before I just write her off completely.