After the wedding is over sadness

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MsSunshineBee:  I didn’t get a chance to get sad about my wedding being over because two days after my wedding, my house flooded….so I got to be sad about that lol.  By the time we got done with repairs and remodeling, I was just happy to have the wedding over and done with.  I guess focus on enjoying the marriage.

Post # 3
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m not married yet but this happened to my sister.  She actually went into a depression because for so many months she was exicted about picking out things for the wedding and then literally one day it was over.  She used to obsess (not saying you’re doing that) over what she could have done differently and how she wished she had seen this dress/veil/flowers before she got married.

Finally one day her husband said to her nicely that he wished she would stop focusing on the wedding and start focusing on their marriage.  It really hit her as she didn’t realize that her sadness had been affecting her husband.  They planned more things to do together to keep them busy.  Not something as extravagant as a trip, but more date nights and things like going for hikes or bike rides.

If you’ve been married since December I think you need to just put everything aside and not focus on what was, but now, focus on today and your future.  Are there any other projects you can get involved in?  For me personally, my FI bought a fixer upper last year and we recently finished our kitchen.  After we’re married, the next big project is our basement so I won’t have time to have post-wedding blues.  If you need to plan a vacation, that’s great too, but regardless, start focusing on you and your husband and things you can do together.

Post # 4
Member
4817 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hmmm I didn’t have post-wedding sadness either, but I bet a vacation would help!

Post # 5
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it’s easy to confuse boredom with sadness. You have been focused on this project for a while, and there can be a drop in adrenaline level when it’s over. My advice is to throw yourself into something else – your work, the next project, etc. You are married – it isn’t sad. 

Wanting to do it all over again is a good thing – it’s a sign that your wedding was a wonderful, positive experience. I felt this way at other people’s weddings for about a year after I got married – and there were a lot of weddings that year! But I promise you that this feeling too shall pass. Eventually, you will go weddings and feel relieved that it wasn’t you making favors and paying for alcohol. More importantly, you will reach a new stage in your life together as a couple, which you can’t imagine going back from. It’s like no longer being jealous of people having big sweet-16 parties. You will have many more wonderful days together, and you will look back on your wedding day with fondness, but not longing. I promise you – the fun hasn’t even started yet, and there is so much to look forward to. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Jupster.
Post # 6
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

MsSunshineBee:  I totally understand what you’re saying. It’s been two months for us. I’ve been half jokingly telling everyone that I feel like I’m in mourning………… so dramatic. But it was the best weekend of our lives! And the reality of probably never having all those people in one place at the same time again is a little too much for me. We just got all our pictures and videos and an amazing album from our photographers/videographers so we’ve been immersing ourselves, and that helps 😉

Post # 10
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

HOnestly, I was glad it was all over. I married the man of my dreams and now it’s about life moving forward for us. I’m planning on starting a scrapbook and smash book for the wedding. I can’t wait to do that. Better finish it before we start having kids. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I was surprised at how sad I was — not right after the wedding, but after all my friends and family left town. It was a day that will never happen again: having my most beloved people all together having so much fun, watching me marry my DH…

It was really hard to come back to reality. And we didn’t do a honeymoon, so there was nothing else to look forward to unless you count the beginning of school (I’m a teacher)– cue Michael Scott yelling “God NOOOOOOOO!”

I’m starting to get out of my funk, though. Just starting planning my friend’s wedding quilt. She was my wedding photographer and got engaged on her last day here in Prague! A project is always a good way to get out of a funk, for me. How can I be depressed when I’m creating something? So that’s my advice: make something!

Post # 14
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

MsSunshineBee:  I do understand the sentiments. I remember a few months after my wedding, we attended another wedding, and I said to my husband, “I wish I could relive all that again!” He said, “I do relive it. I can think only of our vows and our dance when I watch other people get married.” And I said, “But it’s not the same. I wish it could be our wedding again.” And he said, “It is. You are always the bride to me. Only the decor changed.” 

Post # 15
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

MsSunshineBee:  I know. It’s been over a year since our wedding. I haven’t printed any pictures at all. Minus the ones hanging in the apartment.

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