Post # 1
Hi Bees,<br /><br />It is very common in my FI’s family to host a day after brunch for people to mingle and for us to open our gifts. I’m not really a fan of this but it seems important to my MIL. My Mom has offered to host it but we are both clueless as to who we are supposed to invite. My MIL would like to invite everyone who brought a gift but that could be 150+ people and I don’t want to deal with a ton of people…again….the day after the wedding. <br />For Bees who have been to or had one of these, who did you invite?
Post # 2
Tallulah_: I’ve been invited to one of these but the couple opted to not open the gifts in front of everyone. They invited family and all out of town guests.
Personally, I would only invite immediate family and probably people who travelled a long way (the breakfast would be an added thank you in my opinion)
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
We had a brunch at the park with the whole guest list, which was awesome.
After that, we opened gifts with whitch ever members of our families and close family friends felt like being there. Frankly the two of us would have rather skipped that (fairly exhausted by then), but everyone else was really excited so we went ahead.
I definitely wouldn’t invite everyone for the gift part – that seems like overkill. Can you do a big brunch and smaller gift opening get together? It was super fun to get to see everyone for another couple hours the morning after the wedding and say goodbye.
Post # 4
In my area I know families who rent out another ballroom and have 200 people and families who only do immediate family and the bridal party. We are having brunch with our parents and bridal party the next morning, and then a gift opening in my parents backyard after. We will most likely announce the gift opening at the end of the reception for whoever would like to drop by, but in our circle only aunts/uncles and cousins will come.
So I guess it’s up to you! I don’t think anyone who isn’t immediate family will be insulted by not getting an invite, so if you want it small then do that!
Post # 5
Mostly it is just the bridal party, parents, and grandparents. I think I would have been happier with just our parents, but my FMIL wants to invite their out of town relatives. Since they are travling 8 hours plus, and we probably won’t see them for over a year after this, I have a hard time saying no.
Post # 6
I would not open gifts in front of anyone with the possible exception of parents and we didn’t even do that. It’s simply no one’s business what anyone else gave you and I would never agree to it.
It’s not a kid’s party where the guest of honor would have a melt down without the immediate gratification, or a shower, where gifts are supposedly small and token. The brunch itself is more than enough, but opening your gifts in front of others is IMO very bad form.
Post # 7
We are likely doing a brunch with family, BP, and OOT guests. Since we aren’t inviting OOT guests to rehearsal dinner, we wanted to do something with them and this would be perfect since most will stay the night and leave sometime on Sunday. We will likely open presents at the end of the party after OOT guests leave.
Post # 8
We did a day after brunch for everyone, but we didn’t open present at brunch. We didn’t open presents until we were back home, after the mini-moon, with just the two of us in the living room! I don’t like opening presents in front of people and really didn’t like that part of the shower, so I definitely wasn’t doing that again.
On the other hand, one of my good friends did this and it was nice. It was very casual. I was a bridesmaid and I think she mentioned it on wedding day. I went over to her parents house and there were some bridal party members, grandparents, siblings and, I think, an out of town aunt or two. Just whoever was hanging out at the house anyway. It was fun.
I’d limit to bridal party, immediate family and maybe out of town relatives you don’t get to see often.
Post # 9
We had a brunch and opened presents the day after the wedding. We invited just close friends and family – maybe around 30 people came throughout the morning. I actually thought it was a lot of fun! Some people spent a lot of time and effort buying you a wedding gift and they would love to watch you open it. My grandmother gave me some crystal glasses that had been in the family for something like 150 years and it was really nice that we could open the gift with her there.
Post # 10
RunsWithBears: That’s a really good point. I felt odd and showy having people watch me open gifts and hadn’t considered that some people might actually appreciate seeing us opening their thoughtful gifts!<br /><br />I’m glad to see there’s such a variety of opinions! I thought I was just clueless but it looks like a fairly diverse event…I really just don’t want to offend anyone 😛
Post # 11
We had a morning after brunch at my MIL’s house, and they invited all of the out of town family. It was about 30 people or so. We didn’t open presents there, we waited a couple days and did it alone at home.
Post # 12
We had one at my brother’s house. It is a tradition in my family, plus I moved out of state right before the wedding, and we had a lot of out of state guests that we hardly get to see. So, even though we hate opening gifts in front of people, we did it mostly so we could see friends and family. We invited the bridal party (non related ones declined since they knew they’d be hungover), grandparents/parents, siblings and the few out of state relative’s from DH’s family.
We thankfully didn’t get too many boxed gifts (since we live out of state) so we were able to focus mostly on just hanging out with people.
Post # 13
Tallulah_: We are doing a brunch the next day as well. Inviting parents, siblings, grandparent, and aunts/uncles. I don’t think many cousins are planning to come to the wedding, but we’ve decided that those few that do come will be invited to the brunch as well. We are NOT opening gifts there. Mr. S was under the impression that’s what the brunch was for – not sure how that happened. It’s so we can spend a bit more time with our family before everyone goes back to their respective states and we move 2000 miles away. Plus, I’m horrible at opening gifts in front of people – my face gives things away too easily. Sort of dreading my bridal shower…
Post # 14
Tallulah_: It’s one thing to open a gift at the request of someone who wants to see you do that privately between just you and them, but totally inappropriate as a form of entertainment or a set up for comparison in front of others. By definition, gifts are according to closeness of the relationship and the budget. Someone will be uncomfortable even if they don’t say anything to you openly.
I would trust your initial instincts on this one.
Post # 15
My FI’s family always does this for weddings. With his family, it’s a fun time to spend with the bride and groom. We always leave it open to anyone who wants to come…..usually it ends up being our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We don’t think of it as rude…..but that’s just how we are….we’re a very share-y family lol.