Post # 1
So, I have to let this out! Out of 120 guests we recieved gifts from 19. Wow. It really shocked me to see how terrible of ettiquette people have. My own mother did not bring a gift (nor contribute in any way after I paid for her flight, hotel and clothing for her and my niece). It was almost as though the attitude was that we should just be grateful that they showed up. My Father also showed up empty handed. This was so surprising being that we paid for our own wedding. I am truly grateful for the gifts I recieved, but I am in shock that people think its acceptable to come to a wedding empty handed, party, eat $100 plates of Filet Mignon, drink, and get another plate to go!
Next. During the wedding we really were too busy to notice who came and who did not. But as we began to get back to real life you would never imagine that 15 people (most who rsvp’d with a plus 1) would have sudden illness, family emergencies, and grandma had a stroke, or something else came up randomly. Now dont get me wrong, I know life happens but, come on! All on the same day? Everyone got sick on the same exact day? I pray to God that people would not lie about that kind of thing just to avoid being embarrassed about their rude behavior- That is not the kind of thing that you lie about and I am sure a few of those excuse were the untruth. Out of those who RSVP’d and did not show up, no gifts were received. They had no consideration at all for the money that was wasted and really I dont even want these people in my life at this point. That may sound harsh but I am always there, with a smile and a gift for many of these no-shows and we did not deserve the BS excuses, or the lack of effort ones who provided no explanation at all.
Wedding truly have a way of separating the weeds from the wheat, I hate that I had to go through it, but it was a great learning experience for me. I learned that everyone is not a friend.
Thanks for listening!
Post # 3
@bo55y1: I’m sorry that that happened. I hope that you enjoyed your wedding day and have many happy memories.
Post # 4
I hope you have a thick skin, threads like this generally don’t turn out well.
Sorry you didn’t get many presents!
Post # 5
aw man, i wish you would have ended your post with something like “thankfully none of this really matters as i married the man of my dreams.” maybe you will get more in the mail in the coming weeks? sorry about your parents, i imagine that is truly where your pain is. 🙁
Post # 6
i can see why it would bother you… DH and i have a lot of younger aged friends (20-23 yrs) and we had FORTY people that rsvp’d not show…
it’s life! just remember you didn’t get married for the gifts and the people that made it were the ones that were supposed to be there…
i just tell myself the people that didn’t give anything must need it more than we do!
Post # 7
i will keep my words soft and sweet incase i have to eat them :S
Post # 8
I too would be livid if my RSVPs did not show. Especially considering that we’re having a smallish guest list of 75 people who we consider close friends and family. You have every right to be upset. Also, as far as I can tell, you’re more upset about people’s lack of ettiquette, not necessarily the gifts.
Post # 9
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve heard both sides of giving a gift to the bride and groom. One side is the guest is a guest and their presence is their gift. They are there to celebrate your special day. Another side, it’s rude to not bring a gift to a wedding. The bride and groom thought enough to include them and should show appreciation.
I would NEVER come to a wedding without a gift/gift card/money or even a card (handmade if I was broke) as I would never show up empty handed to a baby shower, birthday party or anything I’m invited to. I don’t know what people think, I don’t know if they don’t know better or just don’t give a crap. The people that RSVP’d yes and didn’t show I no longer have respect for and don’t care to have anything to do with them. This may be rude of me but if they would have called me after the wedding and said “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the wedding. I was sick/in an accident/family emergency/anything else. I’m sure it was beautiful, congratulations”. I heard through the grapevine one guest “fell asleep”. Seriously? The whole wedding/reception you slept? Never woke up and thought “Holy crap, I better get up and get ready”. There were 10 ex co-workers that I’ve seen after the wedding and asked how it was. My answer was “Beautiful” when I really wanted to say “You should have been there and seen it yourself. I mean you RSVP’d yes. You know what yes means as in yes I’ll be there”. As far as the non gift givers I would have appreciated a card, a hand written note. To me that means “Thanks for the awesome hawaiian bbq, all the alcohol anyone could want, the beautiful venue and the kick ass DJ but screw even giving you a Post It with a congrats”
Sheesh, I’ll never understand people. I’m totally sympathetic and am right ther with you.
Post # 10
Well, crap. Now that I’m thinking about it, we didn’t get ANY presents at the wedding. Are we supposed to? I had two showers….I mean, my parents gave me some cash, and his parents bought us a piece of furniture…..but none of the other guests actually handed us anything..oh well, all I remember is margaritas.
Post # 11
@MississippiQueen: haha this made me laugh. My friend is having a margarita machine at her wedding that I’m standing in and I can not wait!
OP: I understand you’re upset, but remember that many people mail in gifts and don’t actually bring them to the venue. Also, people have up to a year to send in a gift so don’t worry just yet 🙂 I’m sorry about the no shows that’s one of my big fears for my wedding
Post # 12
@Spade504: We had an open bar for 30 people and didn’t even hit our contract’s limit….unfortunately our dinner only lasted 3 hours…but I think I got my money’s worth!
Post # 13
I can’t imagine attending a wedding without a gift even if it’s just a card with some cash.
Post # 14
I’m sorry – I know that hurts.
We had a couple of last minute cancels and 1 no show – and I can’t lie and say it didn’t sting.
As for the gifts – well – that depends. Did you get cards from the other 100? If not, I absolutely agree thats really rude and hurtful. I have a friend who is unemployed – I had no expectation of a gift from him at all, and he ended up printing a picture he’d taken of us at a party and putting it in a little frame. It probably cost him 4 dollars, but MAN did it make me feel loved and grateful. I get that the economy is tough and not everyone can afford grand gifts – but there are so many free/super cheap things you can do to show the bride and groom you care.
Post # 15
Spade504 Gotta love those margarita machines. We had one at our wedding and within a few minutes after the ceremony I asked my new husband if he’d get me one. It was sooo yummy.
We even had to send someone out for more tequila because it was so popular. It’s like a Slurpee on alcohol!!!!
Post # 16
[Comment moderated for snark/sarcasm]
Don’t forget that it’s about who you’re marrying, not the material stuff that comes along with it. Hell, I just had a bday party for turning 26 and was SHOCKED to see 10 presents! There were 20 people there by the way and I wasn’t expecting a THING seeing as I was only turning 26. I was so grateful that all those people managed to show up, seeing as they have jobs and kids and more important things to do. The way I look at it, the fewer presents, the less hassle of opening them and finding a place in my tiny apartment for them. But hey, to each her own. I, personally, will be MUCH happier knowing that I’m a WIFE than I will about how many stinking presents I got. But that’s just me. Hopefully none of those people who didn’t bring a gift are on WB, otherwise they might never bring you any presents…