Post # 1
After two years of doing long distance, i was just given a job offer in the city where my Fiance lives. As I was on the phone with the company, I started to shake uncontrollably. Now that the offer is here after all this time of wanting to be together, I am scared sh#t-less at the prospect of giving my life up here and moving 2000 miles away. Although I would be paid the same amount I make here, it is a slight career step down. All the worries are spinning in my mind– what happens if I get there and our relationship just doesn’t work?!? What if i hate living there?
Is this normal, to have these fears? Is it same as marriage cold feet? Im thinking yes, in a way. This isn’t a commitment like marriage and people keep telling me I can come back home if it doesn’t work. Should I be worried that this nauseous fear is my mind telling me not to do it??
I’m 29, but I am afraid that my parents will be so upset for me quitting here and moving for a man.
Post # 3
Have you ever moved far away before?
Post # 4
I moved from Northern California to Southern California to be with my SO (at the time, now FI). I was really nervous to move across the state, particularly because all of my friends and family live in Northern California. However, even though it was a hard move, my life now is so wonderful, moving to LA was the best decision I’ve ever made! Sometimes, the biggest changes in life bring about wonderful things. But the jitters? Completely normal.
Post # 5
do it. if you don’t, you’ll regret it. Trust me.
better to have done it and learned from mistakes, than to not do it and wonder what if for the rest of your life.
Post # 6
@Treeline: i only moved from chicago to madison to go to grad school. that was from 2005-07.
Post # 7
I asked because if you had moved alot before the cold feet would probably be due to the relationship, not the moving. Since you haven’t moved before I would expect you to be nervous. Being scared of change is normal. It’s ok to have cold feet about going somewhere else.
That being said your 29 lady! Get out and explore the world. Make new friends and have fun. Life is about experiences, and if it doesn’t work out Chicago will always be there.
Post # 8
yeah…i’m not so good at change. I am a person that is all about routine and the expected.
Post # 9
@bluehydrangeas: you’ll find a new routine. i say do it. you have to live life and take chances to find happiness, imo. GOOD LUCK!!
Post # 10
I think it’s totally normal to be intensely nervous about moving far from where you’ve lived before, plus starting a new job, plus starting to live with your SO! Uprooting your life is a big step, but I think you will very much regret it if you don’t, particularly if you have been looking forward to living with your SO for a long time. I moved to live with my SO a couple years ago, out of my parents’ home, and that was certainly a scary wrench even though I wasn’t even moving out of state. Humans don’t like change!
Don’t worry about what your parents will think. I’ve let that worry dominate my life in the past and it just isn’t worth it– do what YOU need to do, and if they disapprove, well, if they love you, they will get over it and/or deal somehow, especially if they are confident you are happy with what you are doing and who you’re with.
Post # 11
Well… someone has to move.
We were LDR and my [now] husband moved. I mean, I think cold feet is normal, totally. To be completely honest, it took over a year for him to adjust. But in the grand scheme of things, it was 100% better for our relationship.