I hate favors. I think they are just an added expense that nobody ever uses or after the wedding will be too full to eat. I know they are a thank you to the guests but with OOT bags, bus services, special decorations etc is that not thanks enough instead of spending a stupid amount of money on personalized cookies or a candle?
Will people be actually notice and be upset if there aren't any?
I feel mostly the same way...I am wondering if buying seeds in bulk, and putting in cute DIY containers is enough? That way there is something, and it will be cute, but it will be very low cost (I already have the DIY stuff for invites, etc.) CDs are also cute & reusable/cheap.
We're thinking of getting a photobooth and since whoever uses it gets to keep a copy of their pictures with our wedding date/monogram, we figure that's a favor. right? Those things are a waste... there's very few people who care to kee the "keepsakes" like programs and table cards.
I really think there are a lot of wedding details people don't notice. don't waste your money.
My soon-to-be-bride and I are letterpessing cards explaining that in lieu of favors, a donation has been made in the memory of her grandmother and my mother towards the National Kidney Foundation and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. That way the money spent goes to a good cause, and the loved ones we wish were there will be there in spirit.
I do think that guests appreciate some kinds of favors. We had small boxes of locally made chocolates, and they were a big hit. However, I also think that a lot of the kinds of personalized stuff that is sold to be used as favors undoubtedly ends up in the trash. I'm sure that I wouldn't be horribly offended if there weren't favors at a wedding. So really, do whatever you like as far as this goes!
englishmuffin, I'm so with you! At most of the weddings I attend, I wind up back at the hotel room agonizing over whether it's OK to toss my paper fan/plastic dove/random other thing in the trash ... I usually do, and I feel bad about it because I know it was a "gift" for me, but I just don't need more stuff.
That said, I've kept two favors. One was a mix CD made by a couple with amazing taste in music; the other was a really nice pilsner glass. Edible favors are also great, I wish more couples did them!
If I have extra room in the budget and think of something the guests would actually take home and use and enjoy, I might go for it -- but I'm absolutely not going to just buy some little trinket just so I can say we gave out favors. Useless favors = more garbage = bad for the environment!
I thought photo booth pictures were enough of a favor too but my mom wanted to get those picture frames to go with them. I didn't like the way they looked and didn't think anyone would take them so I am making magnets instead. It's a lofty project (600 magnets - 4 for each guest) but I love them and they are more us than some plastic picture frame.
I actually am one of the few people who DOES notice favors, apparently. Although, I too am with everyone else with the getting rid of keepsakey things. It may be nice for YOU to have something with your names and wedding date on it, but your guests have no use for them really. I am in favor or edible favors or things people can use. We are doing coffee mugs filled with an assortment of tea bags, hot cocoa mix, apple cider mix, and cappuccino mix. I'm hoping people don't think it's stupid.....but I thought they'd like something to warm up with since the wedding will be in cooler weather. I guess I'll be a grouch now and say I hate when favors are obviously cheap....my sister in law gave everyone a single tealight candle.......you can get a bag of one hundred of those for a few bucks.....that was just so obviously cheap that I thought i'd have rather they hadn't even bothered because it seemed obvious to me that it was just to get it over with. They weren't even scented or anything! I think a favor should say "Thank you....really, I mean it!" You can easily do it cheaply with a candy treat without being so cheap as a 5 cent candle. Good luck!
I wouldn't notice if there weren't favors. For our wedding, I used the paper I had leftover from making my invites to make bookmarks explaining that we'd chosen to donate to charity in lieu of favors. In a way though, I'm still hoping that people will use the bookmark! I like the idea of our guests having something they'd use and that would remind them of us, but it wasn't something I was willing to go out of my way for since most will probably toss them.
If you don't like the idea of favors at all (understandably) then don't stress over it, especially if you're doing OOT bags, etc. Your guests might appreciate not having one extra thing to take home with them.
@NatiSylv: I love the idea of donating to a charity and letting guests know you've done so in the form of a simple bookmark. What a great idea. May have to borrow that one...
The bookmark idea is great! We finally decided to donate the money we would have spent on favors to our church...all the guests will see that it definitely needs some TLC :) I was going to write a little poem explaining our decision, maybe display it on the gift table. Hopefully that will show our guests that we were thinking of them and appreciate their attendance...without spending money on something they might just throw away.
I spent WAY too much time thinking about favors. Before I got engaged I pretty much never noticed them and since I was engaged I never kept any of the non-edible favors. Even the really nice, thoughtful, more expensive ones - buying a present for a few bucks that most people will like is really hard! We ended up with a candy buffet which I guess is a pseudo-favor, but we did it just because I love candy and thought it would be fun. I say if you don't like the idea, skip it.
Just to offer a differing opinion- I plan to provide favors at my wedding, but I think it really depends on what kind of wedding you're having.
A lot of our guests are coming in from long distances, and yes, they will all get out of town bags. But we also have a very large number of guests who will just be driving in an hour or two that day for the wedding. We're giving out favors as a token of appreciation to everyone who came to share in our day.
That said- I'd definitely not miss them if they weren't at a wedding. Anyone who expects a gift is T-A-C-K-Y.
I am with RyanT - my fiance and I made cards indicating we were making a donation in lieu of favors to Doctors Without Borders, the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the ASPCA. I think people will appreciate that just as much (if not more because they will feel charitable via you and your FH!) than something they will either eat within a few minutes or not ever use - my one exception is if they have rice krispy treats but that's because I love those!
I think the donation suggestions are a great idea though there will definitely be some guests who will be a bit miffed by it. (But that's their problem.) There are some great volunteer groups, food relief, nature and wildlife organizations, and green groups.
I debated what to do about favors. We could have bought some silver-plated fortune cookies for less than $2 per piece, but I hated the idea that it will just tarnish and get thrown in a drawer somewhere. Food was an option but I have a few relatives with food allergies and know a couple a people who don't like chocolate. Since the FI and I love to travel, I came up with a theme-related yet practical solution. I scoured the Internet and found some quality, leather luggage tags for only $2.50 per piece (bought direct from manufacturer). With one-third of the guests coming in from out of town, I think they'll be quite useful.
We won't engrave them because who wants to have another person's wedding info on your tag. We intend to use these are their escort tags to direct them to their dinner tables. Also attached will be a card letting them know how to share photos after the wedding. It's multi-purpose and useful!
It's really going to depend on what kind of expectations you and your guests have (finding a happy medium). I also need to take into account what works for my parents since they want to show thanks to all the relatives and family friends attending.
I hate favors. I think they are just an added expense that nobody ever uses or after the wedding will be too full to eat. I know they are a thank you to the guests but with OOT bags, bus services, special decorations etc is that not thanks enough instead of spending a stupid amount of money on personalized cookies or a candle?
Will people be actually notice and be upset if there aren't any?
posted by englishmuffin 45 posts 2 months agoI bet few people may notice they aren't there, but I don't think anyone would be upset by it.
posted by jkl216 48 posts 2 months agoI feel mostly the same way...I am wondering if buying seeds in bulk, and putting in cute DIY containers is enough? That way there is something, and it will be cute, but it will be very low cost (I already have the DIY stuff for invites, etc.) CDs are also cute & reusable/cheap.
posted by cannotwait 214 posts 2 months agoWe're thinking of getting a photobooth and since whoever uses it gets to keep a copy of their pictures with our wedding date/monogram, we figure that's a favor. right? Those things are a waste... there's very few people who care to kee the "keepsakes" like programs and table cards.
I really think there are a lot of wedding details people don't notice. don't waste your money.
posted by nada122 15 posts 2 months agoWe weren't planning on having favors, but FI's parents have offered to supply yummy Berger cookies for that purpose. How can you say no to those?
I agree that favors are absolutely not necessary. Edible ones are a nice touch, but anything "keepsakey" is not worth it in my book.
posted by lulubelle 67 posts 2 months agono one will miss them! let it go...
unless you give edibles (who says no to sweets?) it's really not very worth the extra trouble and expense.
posted by mssweettea 72 posts 2 months agoMy soon-to-be-bride and I are letterpessing cards explaining that in lieu of favors, a donation has been made in the memory of her grandmother and my mother towards the National Kidney Foundation and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. That way the money spent goes to a good cause, and the loved ones we wish were there will be there in spirit.
posted by RyanT 69 posts 2 months agoI do think that guests appreciate some kinds of favors. We had small boxes of locally made chocolates, and they were a big hit. However, I also think that a lot of the kinds of personalized stuff that is sold to be used as favors undoubtedly ends up in the trash. I'm sure that I wouldn't be horribly offended if there weren't favors at a wedding. So really, do whatever you like as far as this goes!
posted by suzanno 1,953 posts 2 months agoenglishmuffin, I'm so with you! At most of the weddings I attend, I wind up back at the hotel room agonizing over whether it's OK to toss my paper fan/plastic dove/random other thing in the trash ... I usually do, and I feel bad about it because I know it was a "gift" for me, but I just don't need more stuff.
That said, I've kept two favors. One was a mix CD made by a couple with amazing taste in music; the other was a really nice pilsner glass. Edible favors are also great, I wish more couples did them!
If I have extra room in the budget and think of something the guests would actually take home and use and enjoy, I might go for it -- but I'm absolutely not going to just buy some little trinket just so I can say we gave out favors. Useless favors = more garbage = bad for the environment!
posted by MelissaB 66 posts 2 months agoi'm glad people agree. thank you your comments have been very useful. i was begiining to think i was becoming a grouch!
posted by englishmuffin 45 posts 2 months agoI thought photo booth pictures were enough of a favor too but my mom wanted to get those picture frames to go with them. I didn't like the way they looked and didn't think anyone would take them so I am making magnets instead. It's a lofty project (600 magnets - 4 for each guest) but I love them and they are more us than some plastic picture frame.
Here is an example:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_1&listing_id=9304129
posted by jeeyol 86 posts 2 months agoI actually am one of the few people who DOES notice favors, apparently. Although, I too am with everyone else with the getting rid of keepsakey things. It may be nice for YOU to have something with your names and wedding date on it, but your guests have no use for them really. I am in favor or edible favors or things people can use. We are doing coffee mugs filled with an assortment of tea bags, hot cocoa mix, apple cider mix, and cappuccino mix. I'm hoping people don't think it's stupid.....but I thought they'd like something to warm up with since the wedding will be in cooler weather. I guess I'll be a grouch now and say I hate when favors are obviously cheap....my sister in law gave everyone a single tealight candle.......you can get a bag of one hundred of those for a few bucks.....that was just so obviously cheap that I thought i'd have rather they hadn't even bothered because it seemed obvious to me that it was just to get it over with. They weren't even scented or anything! I think a favor should say "Thank you....really, I mean it!" You can easily do it cheaply with a candy treat without being so cheap as a 5 cent candle. Good luck!
posted by gracielou 90 posts 2 months agoI wouldn't notice if there weren't favors. For our wedding, I used the paper I had leftover from making my invites to make bookmarks explaining that we'd chosen to donate to charity in lieu of favors. In a way though, I'm still hoping that people will use the bookmark! I like the idea of our guests having something they'd use and that would remind them of us, but it wasn't something I was willing to go out of my way for since most will probably toss them.
If you don't like the idea of favors at all (understandably) then don't stress over it, especially if you're doing OOT bags, etc. Your guests might appreciate not having one extra thing to take home with them.
posted by NatiSylv 44 posts 2 months ago@NatiSylv: I love the idea of donating to a charity and letting guests know you've done so in the form of a simple bookmark. What a great idea. May have to borrow that one...
posted by carly7215 65 posts 2 months agoThe bookmark idea is great! We finally decided to donate the money we would have spent on favors to our church...all the guests will see that it definitely needs some TLC :) I was going to write a little poem explaining our decision, maybe display it on the gift table. Hopefully that will show our guests that we were thinking of them and appreciate their attendance...without spending money on something they might just throw away.
posted by Smithie71 31 posts 2 months agoI spent WAY too much time thinking about favors. Before I got engaged I pretty much never noticed them and since I was engaged I never kept any of the non-edible favors. Even the really nice, thoughtful, more expensive ones - buying a present for a few bucks that most people will like is really hard! We ended up with a candy buffet which I guess is a pseudo-favor, but we did it just because I love candy and thought it would be fun. I say if you don't like the idea, skip it.
posted by Janna19 335 posts 2 months agoJust to offer a differing opinion- I plan to provide favors at my wedding, but I think it really depends on what kind of wedding you're having.
A lot of our guests are coming in from long distances, and yes, they will all get out of town bags. But we also have a very large number of guests who will just be driving in an hour or two that day for the wedding. We're giving out favors as a token of appreciation to everyone who came to share in our day.
That said- I'd definitely not miss them if they weren't at a wedding. Anyone who expects a gift is T-A-C-K-Y.
posted by amandopolis 22 posts 2 months agoI am with RyanT - my fiance and I made cards indicating we were making a donation in lieu of favors to Doctors Without Borders, the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the ASPCA. I think people will appreciate that just as much (if not more because they will feel charitable via you and your FH!) than something they will either eat within a few minutes or not ever use - my one exception is if they have rice krispy treats but that's because I love those!
posted by caulner 34 posts 2 months agoHmm. I admit I'm also someone who would notice if there wasn't a favor. I wouldn't be put off by it, but I'd notice.
I'm strongly in favor of stuff you can eat--and preferably something you can eat later, since you're right, englishmuffin, many people will be full.
posted by HannahT 22 posts 2 months agoI think the donation suggestions are a great idea though there will definitely be some guests who will be a bit miffed by it. (But that's their problem.) There are some great volunteer groups, food relief, nature and wildlife organizations, and green groups.
I debated what to do about favors. We could have bought some silver-plated fortune cookies for less than $2 per piece, but I hated the idea that it will just tarnish and get thrown in a drawer somewhere. Food was an option but I have a few relatives with food allergies and know a couple a people who don't like chocolate. Since the FI and I love to travel, I came up with a theme-related yet practical solution. I scoured the Internet and found some quality, leather luggage tags for only $2.50 per piece (bought direct from manufacturer). With one-third of the guests coming in from out of town, I think they'll be quite useful.
We won't engrave them because who wants to have another person's wedding info on your tag. We intend to use these are their escort tags to direct them to their dinner tables. Also attached will be a card letting them know how to share photos after the wedding. It's multi-purpose and useful!
It's really going to depend on what kind of expectations you and your guests have (finding a happy medium). I also need to take into account what works for my parents since they want to show thanks to all the relatives and family friends attending.
posted by dmdwed 55 posts 2 months ago