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So I'm polling all you bees out there to find out how many of you have a large age differance in your relationship. For example my FI and I are 20 years apart, and it has always caused tensions with my family (it really doesn't help that I knew they weren't okay with him so I hid out relationship for six months or so, and that I'm an only child). But I was wondering if anyone out there has gone though this or is going though this. Thanks
I'm ten years apart from my husband. I've dated older men than that from me by about fifteen years. I actually had a male friend that was about 42 years older than me that I got along with fabulously. I didn't realize it, but he was trying to date me! My parents were kind of worried then because it was apparent to everyone but me! But I think they would have accepted it eventually.
I know so many couples where the man is about 20 years older than the woman and they are really really happy. The only one that matters is you. How do you feel about your relationship? You are the one that has to live in it.
My mom calls my husband "middle aged." I guess he is. Whatever. He's in great shape, eats my diet food happily and loves me. What else do you need in life?
We're 11 years apart, which you think is no big deal until you realize that I'm the older one. In a less accepting family, it might have been a problem, but his family embraced me with open arms!
There is 11 years between us too with me being the "cougar". When we met, neither one of us had any clue our ages were that far apart. We met more than four years ago when he was 19 and I was 30. We both attended the same college (I had taken ten years off) and he was the manger of a bicycle store where I bought my first bike. We would go on group rides and talk. After a few months of riding together, my girlfriends and I invited him out to Happy Hour at a bar (still had no idea how old - or young - he was) and was surprised to find out he was underage.
We remained friends for about a year although we both had feelings for each other, neither of us acted on them. His father (who owns the bicycle shop) sat me down in the office one day and said he knew there was a big age difference between the two of us but that he and his wife really liked me and would have no problem with me dating their son. That was pretty much it and with him being 20 and me being 31, we started dating.
He is what you can call an "old soul". He is a grumpy old man and doesn't act like a stupid "kid". His hobbies include building fine wood furniture, investing and riding bikes for fitness.
My mother was not pleased at all but has come around since then.
We own a home together, volunteer for bicycle advocacy groups, foster and rehabilitate homeless dogs (Louisville Weimaraner Rescue) and have an awesome relationship. This is my first marriage and the first time I've ever even thought of marrying someone...
Wow, lots of similarities mackina! We met when he was 20 and I was 31. He thought I was 27 at the time. We remained friends for 3 years, and then I finally succumbed to his charms...
He's an old soul and I was so glad that I held out for the best guy ever!
My FI is 8 years older than me...my parents knew before me that I would marry an older man (if I ever got married) b/c immaturity never appealed to me....even as a youngster.
There is a 19 year age difference between my parents. My mom is 59 and my dad is 78. They have been married for over 37 years.
Mr. M and I have birthday's a month apart in the same year - so we are the EXACT same age!
I think it is kinda weird because we met in our 20s not highschool and that usually doesn't happen but my mom always says "It's special" which I don't really know what she means by that - but it has been fun growing into adults together (we were 21 when we met and will be married at 27)
he's 6 years older than me. it's not an issue at all with my parents (they love that he's stable, has a house, a good job, etc. while i had just graduated and had no job and lived with my parents while we met. made him look really good!) his friends/family were visually surprised by my age at first. i always got a strange look when i said my age. but again, not really an issue. i think it's most weird when it comes to our friends. my friends are still into the bar scene, his are married with babies. we hang out with his more.
@futuremrsmartin: I can totally relate to the whole "growing into adults together"! FI and I got together while I was still in college and then once I graduated we moved into our first apt. Funny to think about how things were then vs. how they are now!
We're 5 years apart (he's older) and it's perfect. When you have a big age difference, it's important to think long-term - if it works for you, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
We have a 16 year age difference - I turned 28 last month, and FH is turning 44 on Sunday. I've always dated older men, so it didn't come as a total surprise to my parents I'd end up marrying someone older. FH also looks younger than he is (my mom assumed he was mid-30's when she first met him).
The only issue we've run into is with our plans for children. I feel no rush right now to have kids, and always just assumed I'd be well into my 30's before having kids...but we need to speed up that timeline so FH isn't 50 when the baby is born! :) I'm ok with that though, and we're still talking 2-3 years away, anyhow.
My boyfriend is eight years older (I'm 21, he's 29). He has a young looking face and is carded wherever he goes, so if people just see us together, you would hardly know there was an age gap. My friends are the only ones that reacted negatively to his age because they hadn't met him or seen us together. Anything beyond 24 is ancient to college kids, haha. I got all the "robbing the cradle" comments, and they assumed there was something sleazy about him because he was older and divorced...which, admittedly, I had done at first too.
Age really is just a number.
He's 4 years older than me, but because our lifestyles are so similar, I don't think an age difference is really discernible. We're friends with couples with much wider age gaps and it works out just fine. I don't see a problem with age differences once both parties are consenting adults.
My honey just turned 40 , and i am a very content 31 :) So were 9 yrs apart . I was kind of a mix though , because i liked the young ones , as much as the older ones..lol..:) He gets told alot though that he has a young face ..espec when hes clean shaved . I honestly when first started datin just how old he was ,because of that ,and because he didn't tell me ..his family squealed ..lol.Not that it matters ..:) by the time the family squealed i was already in love ..:)
I'm 2 weeks older than my FI. Which is kinda weird but hey, it's not like we go around looking for a certain age-range, right? you get whatever you fall in love with :)
He is 2 years younger than me. Which was weird for me at first, even though it's just 2 years, but he is almost the same age as my brother. Anyway, obviously I let it go, and it's been great!
Thanks everyone! When we met I had no idea how old he was he seemed at least 5 years younger to me (and at that point I was dating someone who was 14 years older so it didn't seem like a big deal). But Wolf is the first guy I have every felt this was about, it is so amazing. He never tries to change me, supports me in what ever I make my mind up to do, and the way he looks at me (like he completly adores me and I'm the only person in the world) how could I not fall in love. :) See I get a silly grin just thinking about him, lol.
My FI is 8 years and 10 months older than me. Right now he is 34 and I am 25. He looks very young and we met as freshmen in college (he was a returning student) but I thought he was my age! I think it is perfect for us because he has gone through a lot of things before than I am going through the first time now (buying a car, finding the right job, etc.). It is nice to be with someone with life experience so we aren't both freaking out at the same time!
My fiance and I are 16 years apart. I just turned 25 and he just turned 41. Our little joke is bringing up that he got his driver's license 25 days before I was born.
It's kind of a weird dynamic, as far as our families go, because he has two kids: one is 5, but the other is turning 20 this month. So I'm about 5 years older than my future step-daughter. What takes it to a whole new level is that his brother is my age, and his daughter's boyfriend is 28 -- older than me!
When I first met him, I had no idea how old he was -- he doesn't look 41 (or, he didn't look 39 when I met him.) I've always acted older than my age, and I don't get along with guys my age, so it's really ideal. Plus, I like that he has his life together and has had life experiences along the way. My parents have never had a problem with it, and my guy's mom loves me. (His dad thinks I'm a young hussy, but he's the only one that has issue with it.)
My FI is 1 year and 1 month older than I am. But, my mother's husband is 18 years younger than she is (therefore only 3 years older than I am) and while it took some getting used to, my whole family loves them together!
We are 15 years apart. Aside from the initial surprise of it, no one in either family seems to worry about it at all.
Also, my family wouldn't really be able to say a whole lot, since my uncle is 18 years older than my aunt, and they've been married for 30 years or so. . .
My FI is 11 years older than me.. which I think would have been less relevant if we were younger, but I'll be 30 when we marry and he is 41. My parents have had the hardest time adjusting to it, but they trust that I know what I'm doing and that I've picked the best man for me, no matter what the age. I think it helps that he looks much younger than he is as well.
Some of you Bees have great stories! My FH and I are 10 and a half years apart (he'll be 31 this December, and I'll be 21 next July). I know I'm young and all, but I grew up really fast, and I feel a lot older than 20. While all of you have wonderful stories of how supportive your families are...mine, unfortunately is not that way. I was disowned this past September because I went to visit Mr. Dizzy's family with him. My mother also hates the fact that he's a combat veteran (she seems to think he's going to kill me? She's weird). But alas, if so many of you have age gaps, and your families have been supportive, hopefully mine will come around, and find it in their hearts to accept my relationship and actually come to the wedding
My sweetie is 3 years older than me, right in my perfect age range.LOL. I always wanted to marry someone 3 to 5 yrs older than me for soem strange reason.
I dated a man 10yrs older than me before my sweetie and before him, one that was 16yrs older. I always liked older men. My mom didn't like the one 16yrs older, because he was 4yrs younger than her!LOL
My husband and I are 18 years apart (I'm 26, and he's 44). It didn't seem unnatural for us to get together, although he's an exception, not the rule - I hadn't dated much older men prior to our relationship. For the most part, it's a non-issue, and has never been a problem with our family and friends. In other ways we're a bit off balance (finances in particular, since he's had more time to earn and save, but also in that he's incredibly accomplished in the same profession that I'm training for - it's intimidating sometimes).
One of the unexpected pleasures of being with my husband is that I never have to remind him of what needs to be done or mother him or get frustrated with his lack of maturity. I've had boyfriends in the past that were practically like little kids in some ways! So that was a huge relief for me. And there are other things he's really good at, too... let's just say experience has its benefits. ;-)
My FI is 6 months and two weeks younger than I am, and I get a huge kick out of saying things like "well, when you get to me MY age..." :-)
I am 15 months older than my sweetheart. When we get married he will be 19 and I will be 21... he wanted to get married before he turned 20, so we chose the date just a wee bit before his birthday. :)
I am 7 months to the day younger :)
I love all these stories, mrsdg I loved hearing yours especially :) how cute!
2 1/4 years difference (i'm older). Like some of you, I would definitely consider FI an 'old soul.' We'll be 25 and 27 when we walk down the aisle!
My FI is ten years younger than I but it's never an issue. The wierd thing is my ex (father of my daughter) is fifteen years older than me so there is 25 years between my ex and my future husband. The 15 years with my ex never bothered me but now, five years after we broke up, the age difference is much more apparent....in looks and his health. It may sound horrible but I'm glad I'm marrying younger than older.
My FI is 7 years older than me. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 25. Initially my mom was uneasy about it but I never knew that. He worked with my stepdad and had gotten to know her before he started dating me so by the time we actually statted dating, she loved him!
We're twenty days apart, so can't help you there. ;) I am older by those twenty days though, haha!
I know a lot of people in good relationships where there is at least a ten year difference. I think the younger you are, the more the age gap makes a difference. But once you get to your 20's or so, it stops being about age and is just about the person.
We are ten years apart (he's 36, I'm almost 26). When I told my mom I was seeing someone older, she shrugged and said, "I always knew you'd end up with an older man." They were more concerned that he was recently divorced. However, they saw how happy we are together and he's now a part of the family. My advice is to give it time!
My husband is 7 years older than me. He's 39 and I'm 32. At this point in our lives its no big deal. I think if we were 22 and 29 there would be more of a difference.
But emotionally, I think we are the same age. We act like a couple of middle school kids. We still can't believe they let us get married! ;)
I'm a year and a month older than he is, but I don't ever notice the difference. It's not a big one. Before my fiance, I always dated guys that were much older than I was.
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