Age difference

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@sarahroby:  i think 15 years would be my max.  My husband is 8 years my senior

Post # 4
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Age… mentaility… how someone carries them selfs seems to matter a lil more then just the number

I was shocked when i found out my faincee was 39… he does not look it he is fit b4 he broke his foot he ran 5 miles a  day he smart funny fun to spend time with. I was really totally shocked when i found out… he now 40 and i am 27 and as much as would have agreed that to me at one point over 10 years seemed a lil like hey what are u thinking lol 


I love him, i love to talk to him. I love to spend time with him he inspires me to be fitter do more be stronger. He makes me a happier person and we really vibe just right (that being said almost all my friends even since highschool have always been about 5 years older then me) I do tend to get along with older people better then people my own age


So really I don’t think anything of the difference infact i don’t even notice it unless he makes a referance to something i was not really old enough to identifiy with lol but ya. No one ever comments on him being older either b.c. he looks in his early 30s i look in my 20’s witch i am so unless i say he 40 i don’t even get a reaction form others either 

Post # 5
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

One of my bridesmaids is 20 and was dating a 48 year old. He’s a celebrity so doesn’t look that old, and she is very mature for her age, but he’s older than her parents! That’s kinda where I think it crosses the line. FI and I are 18 months apart and it feels like an eternity right now with him being 22 and me still 20. I wouldn’t date more than a year or two older and probably not younger. 

Post # 6
2136 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I used to date guys way older than me. When I was 20 I dated a guy that was 38 (he looked a lot younger, maybe 32) and when I was 17 I dated a 27 year old. At the time I NEVER thought anything of it…all I knew was they were amazing and treated me well.

Until I found out they were total creeps that only went after super young girls.

I never had a boyfriend in high school that was in school with me, I have always dated older men…so it was a shock when I fell in love with someone nine months younger than me. And…to be completely honest, FI is the most REAL relationship I’ve ever had, and I have had live in boyfriends since I was 15 (I had a really cool dad).

Honestly, I believe that the only time age doesn’t matter is when both people are over the age of 25 at the very least. After that, most people have had quite a bit of life experience but anytime before that I feel like the younger person is being robbed of something.

No offense to anyone who is in this situation.

Post # 7
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

More than 5 years is too old for me. And I’d never date younger again if my marriage doesn’t work out. I dated younger men in the past and it just didn’t feel right. 


Post # 8
1235 posts
Bumble bee

More than four years older is too much. And less than a year younger is too much for me.. It’s just too weird for me otherwise. Plus, what’s wrong with this guy that he finds a younger woman attractive? It makes me think that something’s wrong with him and he can’t get someone his own age.. Just the beliefs that I was raised with. 

Post # 9
3230 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

There’s no right or wrong to this question, IMO, but I have seen first-hand what marrying someone significantly older can do to someone’s life. My father was significantly older than my mother. He was extremely intelligent, athletic, etc. and I can see how my mom never thought much about the age difference. But the fact is than the average age at death for a man in the US is about 72, and the vast majority of people have some sort of health issues before they die. 

So my mom was a mother with young kids when my dad went in for triple bypass surgery. She helped with his recovery when he had a stroke. She adjusted diet and lifestyle when he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. She had home health aids come in when his mobility began to be affected. And finally she had to consider divorce to protect the assets when they had to consider him moving to a facility where he could be better cared for (that fortunately didn’t have to happen). 

My mom finally had us kids off to college, and she was alone. She has never remarried, but it is tough to lose your DH when you are in the middle of your life. No travel, no time together after kids, no enjoying retirement together. I adored my father, but he died when I was 16.

Anyway, in light of all that, my DH is 2-1/2 years younger than I am. I knew that I never wanted to marry a significantly older man. The challenges are simply too great in many cases. 

Post # 10
980 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know that I have a set limit. I probably used to but my SO is 9 years older than me. I always thought it would be maybe 2 or 3 years difference, but I’m not going to stop something good just because it’s more than 3 years difference. 

Post # 11
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My husband is seven years older than me and we never think of it. I did once date a guy that was eleven years older and he was super into me being younger and (not something I am proud of) really encouraged me to go behind my parents backs. fortunately I realized how messed up that situation was and got out before I did anything stupid.

Post # 12
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it all depends on the maturity of the younger party and also the age of the younger.  For example, a 40 year old dating a 55 year old is not odd to me, but a 17 year old and a 32 year old is way too much for me. My husband is 14.5 years older than me, I was 25 when we married and he was 40.  No one had any idea as he looks much younger.  We fit, but I’ve always been an old soul (and maybe like to be taken care of lol).

Post # 13
1107 posts
Bumble bee

Ten years would be my limit. I’m 20 so I wouldn’t want to be with anyone older than 30 or 31. But my husband is 23 next week, so we are fairly close in age. Went through college together and graduated on the same day, so we feel even closer in age than we are.

Post # 14
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I an an Encore Bride, and Older Bee (over 50)

So I’ve seen a lot of life, and experienced a good lot too.

Based on what I’ve seen work and not work, I’d have to say the following:

The closer in age the better

So “a Gap” under 5 is ideal

7 to 10 still good

10 to 12… a few issues (more so when you are young or old)

12 is my personal max (and my recommendation for others as theirs)

As I do see that when couples get to the 15 Year and above Gap there are a lot more issues / problems

And it makes sense when you think about it…

One of the individuals was pretty much a full grown adult when the other was just being born.

So like it or not, even if you have a lot in common NOW in reality you are from two different Generations, and that can cause more and more issues as the two of you age.

30 & 45 = Not so noticeable

40 & 55 = More noticeable (especially so if there are kids)

50 & 65 = Definitely noticeable (the older person is now Retiring)

60 & 75 = The younger person is still working, the elder person is a senior

70 & 85 = IF the older person is alive, they are quite elderly / frail / possibly sick… while the younger person could be a quite vibrant senior

Hope this helps,


Post # 15
3432 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m 15 years older than my wife, and I think that was probably about my limit.  Then again, a lot depends on how old each of you is to begin with.  I actually think it is the opposite of what This Time Round says; it’s less of an issue as you get older. At ages 60 and 45, the age difference is less of an issue than if we were 20 and 35.  And as for 30 and 15, don’t even think about it!

Post # 16
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @2dBride: you said:

I actually think it is the opposite of what This Time Round says; it’s less of an issue as you get  older

What I meant by my post was the Extremes at either end… so the gap is more noticable when one gets older.

So as you say… more noticeable at the young end… 20 & 35… and again, at 70 & 85

In that a good lot of 70 year olds I know are EXTREMELY active Seniors.. (70 is the new 60) in that many of them are enjoying retirement to the max.  Travelling, Grand Kids, Good Health etc.  Most 70 year old can run circles around the 85 year olds that I know that still living and breathing (many of whom are in Care Facilities)

(I agree tho in the middle years not so much… but still there can be issues, a lot depends on the couple… how they think, where they both are in life, and their health etc)


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