Post # 1
So you may notice from my wedding date that I’m just a little bit ahead of myself here haha. But I’m a planner so I like to get things in order early.
I will be having my sister and my childhood best friend as bridesmaids, probably with my sister being MOH. I am also contemplating having my aunt there. She is my mom’s younger sister (by a year) so she will be 51 when the wedding rolls around. The rest of us are early-mid 20s. Now my aunt has an absolutely amazing body for her age, or for anyone’s age actually. She is incredibly fit and would look great in any dress.
Before I mention this to her, or get my fiancé to plan for 2 or 3 groomsmen to match, I wanted to get opinions on if it would be appropriate to include my aunt. I don’t want her to feel out of place or uncomfortable at all. I know if I asked her she would be beside herself with joy and accept right away, but I wonder if she would feel weird about it later. Then she would no doubt be uncomfortable and not want to back out for fear of hurting my feelings.
Has anyone included someone with so much of an age different between the bride, groom, and the rest of the wedding party? How did they handle it?
Edit: I did forget to mention the whole reason for wanting to include her. We are very close, and I consider her one of my best friends despite the age difference and the fact we are related. I told her first when I got engaged!
Post # 3
If you two are close and you’re wanting to include her as a way to honor her, which I assume is the case, I think it is a WONDERFUL idea! I have not personally witnessed such an age difference, but I wouldn’t bat an eye if I saw a wedding party with it.
Post # 4
@MsMonkey: Haha yah. Somehow I forgot the most important part. We are super close!
Post # 5
I voted that you include her. If you feel awkward about how she will “mix” with the rest of the crowd, maybe you honor your relationship by asking her to do a reading or something significant to your wedding ceremony. My MOH and BM are 32, 24, 14 and 16. Only my MOH is really doing anything, but I wanted to include the other girls since they are like my little sisters. As time gets closer, I wish I had someone else to help but my mom and aunt have been stepping up too.
Post # 5
If you think she would love to be in it and you would love to have her in it, I’d say go for it. I haven’t seen that before myself, but I don’t think I would think it was a big deal. Just make sure she is comfortable being up there and doesn’t feel out of place! Is she married? If not, do you think she’d feel embarrassed in an “always a bridesmaid” sort of way?
Post # 6
Yes, my uncle will be there too so it wouldn’t be like my poor single bridesmaid aunt.
Yah I was all for it in the first place, but when I mentioned it to my mom she was the one who brought up that my aunt might feel out of place. It’s a valid point, but I would still love to have her there moreso than any of my other female friends (if I was going to go for 3 girls). I guess I can leave that up to her!
Post # 7
I’m actually a bridesmaid in a wedding and I’m just the opposite… I’m in my mid-20’s and the other bridesmaids and the bride are all in their 40’s. The bride originally wanted to have us all wear the same dresses, and I tried it on to appease her, but I ended up talking to her about how a 5’4″ bridesmaid (me) and a 6′ bridesmaid cannot both wear the same short dress (it’s about 1-2″ above my knees so on the 6′ bridesmaid, it would be incredibly short – this wedding is supposed to be very traditional in a church). Luckily she decided to just have us wear the same color pallet instead… I really didn’t want to tell her the real reasons I didn’t like the dress she had me try on, it was way too old looking for me, too large and unflattering (they didn’t have any smaller sizes), and looked like something my grandmother would wear. I know it sounds mean, but I didn’t want to break her heart. I know it’s her wedding so we wear whatever she wants us to wear, I just felt like I was going to an 80’s wedding with that dress on.
So, I would just keep it in mind when you are looking at dresses… something that the younger crowd may want, may not always make the older crowd happy and vis versa. I know it’s your day, but I’m sure you do not want her to be uncomfortable either – Not saying you’d do this, just wanted to give you some unsolicited advice from a similar situation 🙂
Oh, I forgot to add, I do think you should ask her to be in it!!
Post # 8
I think you should and can have anyone you want as a bridesmaid 🙂
Post # 9
I’d be SO honored if my niece asked me to stand up in her wedding.