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I... um... have a friend... who says her sister has asked her not to include her as one of her bridesmaids because the sister thinks she's too old. The bride is 31 and the sister is 15 years older. The bride doesn't think that's a problem, and in fact, she considered having her own mother (age 60) as a bridesmaid in the wedding. The sister would be with 5 other bridesmaids ranging in age from 26-31. The sister said she would feel silly and that most wedding guests wouldn't be able to "stomach" a 45 year old bridesmaid.
I know what you'll all say. "That's silly. Plenty of people have older bridesmaids and 45's not old! And if the bride wants her in the wedding, there's no problem, but if it makes her uncomfortable, don't force her..." etc. Even though I can guess what the overwhelming response will be, if the sister hears enough people say it, I think she'll be convinced it's not as horrid as she thinks. I think she'll regret it later if she doesn't stand by her sister on her wedding day for such a silly reason.
What do you all think?
Nobody will care. Is not the bridesmaid's day. No one will pay attention to her and she's the bride's sister...that I think comes first than she being 45.
I've seen older aunts who are in their 40s be bridesmaids, and it's not something the guests think about. It's about family and love and what can be better than having your sister in your wedding party!?
I've seen bridesmaids older than 45 and it isn't about age, it is about the relationship with the bride, but if the sister feels extremely uncomfortable, can the sister give her a role that she feels more comfortable with? Maybe a reading and give her the option to do a speech at the wedding if she chooses?
Age doesn't matter I don't think! Many people count their monthers as their best friends, and therefore, Matrons of Honor. Mrs. Hydrangea's Matron of Honor was her mother! She looked gorgeous!
No! A sister is a sister is a sister- no matter what the age. The most important thing is that you are surrounded by those you love.
I second what penguin said, some people do have their mom as MOH, and even their dad as Best Man, age shouldn't be an issue whatsoever!
It's all about surrounding the bride with people that she loves. There's no matter in age or "how it might look." If she loves her, then go for it! (Some sisters don't get along so well!) Fooey to what others might say, it's her day!
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I think it is a GREAT idea to have her sister by her side when she makes this step in her life!! 25, 45, 65 or 85 any age is fine to be involved in a wedding!
If my sister weren't going to be just having a baby, I would ask her to stand up for me and with me.
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I do not think that there should be a age limit. You never know how old you will be when you get married and you will always have those special people that you want standing next to you. I will be having my 36 year old sister standing as my MOH and she is so exited.
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I don't think it would be a problem to have her in the wedding. But if she feels uncomfortable, the only hope you have is to try to reassure her that the situation isn't inappropriate. I hope she understands how important she is to you and will do it for you.
Good luck.
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I do not think it would appear weird or inappropriate for her to be a bridesmaid at all! Brides and grooms come in all ages, and so should their bridesmaids/groomsmen!
That is a very selfish perspective she has imho.
I know some gorgeous 45 yo's and it really doesn't matter if her age shows. The bride to be will one day be 45 and I hope that she is treated at every age with dignity and respect as everyone deserves.
My MOH is my older sister, who is 47. Her 18 y.o. daughter is one of my BMs.
My fiance is having his 63 year old father as his best man. At first my mom thought that was odd--not because of his age but because he is the father of the groom--but that is how it is traditionally done where my fiance is from. My godfather is our senior usher and he is 52 and my godmother is not a bridesmaid but presenting us with our flowers for the devotion to Mary and is 56. I think your friend's sister is a little off base, but if she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid, there is nothing that says she must accept her sister's invitation.
I do know that when my mom was pregnant with my brother back in the day, my aunts did not ask her to be in their weddings as you used to not have pregnant bridesmaids. I always thought that was so rude until my FI's sister was due on the day of his brother's wedding and looked quite uncomfortable!
I completely agree with what everyone before me has said, and voted in the poll, age does not matter when it comes to bridal parties. What is most important is that you have the people closest to your heart sharing in your joy on special day.
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She's going to be a bridesmaid! I sent her your comments and she agreed! Happy happy! 
I don't think there should be an age limit! I think if you REALLY want the person to stand up with you and she wants to then GREAT! I doubt anyone will say anything.
She is your sister!! They are never too old unless they don't want to be part of it!
My MOH is 46 years old and I never even thought about whether she is too old to be a BM or not. After all, she has been my best friend forever!
Forgot to add - My FI's best man is his father - who is 72 years old!
Age shouldn't be an issue. I'm a 36 year old bride.
Age shouldn't be an issue. What matter is WHO you want to be standing next to you when you get married.
Aw that is sad that she doesn't think she should be included because of her age...that is silly! The BM's are supposed to be the women in your life that you care about, and if the bride cares about her sister and wants her to be in the wedding party, then it shouldn't matter her age!
Hosh posh! Tell your sister...err um your's friend's sister ;) that you are NEVER too old to celebrate a sister's special day. I know she will anyway, but age is not an issue. Who cares! It is up to the bride and if she wants her there, then that is the way it is! ;) (I am not seriously yelling, I'm being playful hehe)
I personally would be so crushed if my sister was not in my wedding party. She is my MOH!
My sister was 42 when I got married and I was proud to have her standing with me. No one thought it was odd or weird, it just meant the world to she and I and thats all that mattered.
My best friend (also my MOH) is about 20 years older then I am. And I can't imagine anyone else standing up there with me.
I don't think age matters at all. All that matters is having the people closest to you supporting you on your big day. I would want my sister standing beside me, no matter what her age was.
no that is defnatley not a problem you should have who you love in your wedding reguardless of age. I have an older bridemaid and i woudlnt trade her for anything she is one of my good friends and i;m so happy i decided to ask her.
I've seriously toyed with the idea of asking FI's mom to be my matron of honor.
1. I have no girl friends.
2. I love love love my future MIL and consider her a dear friend.
I still might though it might be weird since she is the grooms mom. I don't know. I say if you want the sister in it, let her.
When I get married I'll be 27, and my sister who just agreed to be one of my bridesmaids will be 40. I don't think age is an issue at all.
I'm 40 and will probably be 41 or 42 when my other bff finally marries. and YES I'll be her MOH!
I think that the bride should respect the sister's wishes. Why should she have to match other women in the dress? I think that the 45 year old sister should be asked to do a reading or have a special part in the ceremony in some way. She can also help throw a shower without being a maid. She can help the bride out without the costume and title.
Oh, I just saw that she agreed. I get it. She wanted to be a bridesmaid but thought it wasn't appropriate. Now she sees that it is. Great! As long as she feels comfortable, it's great. I voted that the age is not an issue. I truly feel that. I just wouldn't want the bridesmaid to be uncomfortable.
I'm a 30 year old bride, my one BM/aunt is 55(ish??), my MOH/aunt is 48, and my BM/ sister is 21. I chose the ladies I'm closest to and it just so happens that we encompass 4 decades. C'est la vie! (I was just careful that they're each in an age appropriate dress by letting them choose their own style.)
If the groom can have his father as his best man, then the bride can have whoever in her wedding, no matter how young or old.
it shouldn't matter at all. my brother had my father as one of his groomsmen! and my dad was 57 at the time!
My mom was in a wedding of a girl that lived with us. They became good friends, and my mom was like a mom to her. My mom was 50 at the time and wore a strapless dress!! She NEVER wears strapless dresses. Anyway it was adorable.
What about the reverse.
A middle-aged bride (over 55) having young bridesmaids and a flower girl who are close relatives. Would this look rediculous?
The middle-aged bride would dress appropriately for her age but would look glamerous and have a middle-aged matron of honour.
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