aggressive dog causing marital discord :(

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: what should be done with the dog?
    you're justified being upset at your husband's reaction : (62 votes)
    31 %
    you should not be upset with your husband's reaction : (27 votes)
    14 %
    the dog should be put down : (24 votes)
    12 %
    the dog should be re-homed : (46 votes)
    23 %
    the dog should stay with you guys : (40 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @ferdie224:  How often does the conversation about the dog come up? Your husband could be pissy because he’s sick of the conversation. While not justifiable, maybe a reason he is mad.

     

    I am a dog lover, but I firmly believe that a mean/nasty/vicious pet has to go. If the dog can’t be trained, then he can’t be trained. He is a big dog and could do SERIOUS damage to you, or worse, your future kids.

     

    It sorta sounds like the dog is being possessive over your husband. Communicate that to him. Let him know that there are places/training facilities that specialize in aggressive behavior in animals. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    You sent your dog away for training? I would never do that. It is very important that he learns obedience with you. Have you tried a lot of positive reinforcement? Treating him when he sees a person or dog and isn’t aggressive? 

     

     

     

    Scent hounds are wired to think independently, its his nature. I would say you got ripped off by that training facility. Its entirely different to train a scent hound than a herding breed or a retriever.

     

     

     

    You may have a “when pigs fly” dog. Try reading When Pigs Fly by jane killion

     

    Edit: Find a licensed behaviorist for your dog.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    @ferdie224:  My goodness, that is so awful!  I don’t have any suggestions, but I just wanted to lend a sympathetic ear and provide some encouragement on finding a solution. 

    Also, I don’t know your husband, but here’s a wild guess: maybe your husband was pissed off at himself (for not being able to fix the issue despite both your best efforts)/the dog (for its poor behaviour and that it can’t be trained)/the situation (he knows his dog should be rehomed) and was inadvertently letting it out on you because he was upset?  If he possible feels this way, maybe you could feel less heated about it too – if nothing else, it can take the edge off.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    @ferdie224:  Dogs are different than people. you can’t apply human emotion to dogs and why they do things.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @ferdie224:  Oh man.  This is rough.

    It sounds like as the dog gets older, he’s getting more and more tempermental.  One suggestion I have is to try putting him on meds for arthritis.  I had a large dog growing up that got arthritis about this same age, and it really affects their temperment (dogs don’t like to let it show that they’re in pain, ever, so there could be no other indicators).  Could be worth a shot.

    You said you already tried training, and a really intensive course at that.

    I understand his reaction to you after the dog snapped at your feet last night – it was an emotional reaction to seeing two of the beings he cares about most in the world not getting along.  You can talk back, the dog can’t, so he took it out on you.  Honestly, when our dog gets to be a bit of an a**hole, I yell at my FI sometimes too (“You shouldn’t have riled him up so much” or “Look at what you made him do!”).  It’s not rational.  I’m sure he didn’t mean it as you’re at fault – he’s just not sure how to deal.

    The dog could also be getting dementia (it’s a real thing for dogs too).

    Post # 11
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    @ferdie224:  Understandable. Do you practice training with him on a daily basis? I am of the opinion that you should specifically. Do you practice Nothing In Life is Free? NILF?

    Post # 14
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    @ferdie224:  I understand not having the time. My monster is difficult and doesn’t adore listening to me (he’s a basset mix, so.)

     

    My thought is that if you specifically do small training things with him, or even begin feeding him in the mornings/evenings he may have a more respectful bond with you.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1549 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Have you guys yelled at, hit, or provoked fear in that dog in ANY way. That dog sounds like he’s living in fear. And seriously you don’t just ship dogs off to be trained…. thats something they need to do WITH you. Its about how YOU treat and behave around the dog. There is no such thing as an untrainable dog. Some dogs take more work/time but they are ALL trainable. Sounds like your trainer just didn’t know what he was doing.

    Find a positive reinforcement dog trainer to come into your house to help you train your dog. Explain to them the situation and they will help you combat it. You can’t just ship a dog off and expect him to magically come back trained. It doesn’t work like that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @ferdie224:  It sounds like your husbands in denial about how bad the dog actually is (which is why he blamed you for the dogs reaction).

    I have a very temperamental nut ball of a dog, so I do understand your hubby’s point too. My family puts up with the dog, and I have often jumped to blaming them when my dog has gotten snippy with them. My guy is small and has had many teeth removed (He never lets us brush his teeth) so he is not as much a hazard as your big guy. But I do totally understand the problem. If someone other than myself wanted to grab something away from my guy, they would get bit too. And if you wore slippers and stepped too close to my guy, youd get snapped at too. We have to put him away when children are over, because he will outright go after them. He is a complete mush and monster rolled into one. He was previously abused (burned with cigarettes and cigars, hit, starved, caged for hours) so even with training my guy is still 100% a nut. He has mellowed out now that hes older and is no longer as fiesty as he once was.

    Your hubby may not understand as a woman (I am assuming here) you are smaller than your hubby and being around a 125lb aggresive dog could very dangerous. Even if the dog did not mean to truly hurt you, he could easily do so by accident, yet alone on purpose.

    Do you and your hub plan on having children soon? That could be a way to reason wth hubby about your safety concerns with this dog.. If not I do think he should be more concerned with your safety. It sounds like this dog has a lot of unpredictable triggers. 🙁 It is such a hard place to be in, I can only imagine. Just keep in mind the average lifespand of a bloodhound is 9-11 years…. so on the positive/not so positive end… the dog doesnt have too many years left- if your willing to deal with it/ wait to have kids. Clearly this dog is not safe if you want to have kids in your home.

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