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I would vote for now- seems like you have a lot (buying house, visa arrangements, attending school there without paying foreign student fees, babies, etc.).
I can see your issue about getting married the same year as your sister, so maybe just speak to her about it.. I'm sure she'll give you her blessing to go ahead when she sees you thought about her feelings.
Re: planning a last minute wedding, there will definitely be people which won't be able to come since they're scattered across the world, but to put it into perspective, do you think on a years notice some of those people would attend? In the mere fact you repeated, "what if no one comes" , I would suggest you put out feelers re: a local wedding.. if people can't attend, would you consider a destination wedding, or a courthouse wedding? They can both be absolutely beautiful!
Good luck in whatever you choose!
Wowza... I myself am dealing with immigration issues to the US. I'm not sure how immigration to the UK works, but is it as simple as showing a piece of paper to gain entry into the UK? In the US, my FI needed to apply for a Fiance visa & we have many, many hoops to jump through. If we got married now, he could apply for a Spousal visa, but it could take over a year for that to be processed & approved. Doing it this way we have 1 year to plan a wedding & have given our long distance guest plenty of time to make travel plans.
Going in on a student visa usually doesn't work if you're already married to a citizen... make sure you know all the laws ahead of time. It's extremely stressful, but doing it the legal way is the best way to ensure you can stay together.
Is he in the US currently? Will you have your wedding in Oregon? Are you immigrating w/ your child- she will need a visa too! Also, if you get married in the US, will the UK allow you to enter? My Fiance visa would be invalid if we were to marry before I was on US soil.
I would definitely say WAIT until all the legal issues are sorted out. The worst thing would be to plan a wedding over the next 2 1/2 months & then be denied entry to the UK.
Sorry I don't want to rain on your parade!! I've just read some horror stories on some of the immigration websites I frequently visit.
I'm actually really confused: you said you wanted to move to the UK and buy a house there, but then you said you won't be able to leave the US after you're married... is he applying for citizenship in the US? lol Ugh or perhaps US & UK got mixed up. I'm getting confused w/ all the abbreviations myself.
Cellardoor: I really want to help!! I'm fascinated with all things visa related.
I hope I didn't come across as harsh... its just when visas are related, the romance is gone. There's no whisking away & living happily ever after until the proper steps have been taken.
Hey RecessionistaBride! No, nothing came off as harsh. The visa process *is* really interesting - I don't know exactly how it works coming into the US, but I'm pretty sure from what I've heard that it's a lot harder than immigrating to the UK.
Fiance is a dual US/UK citizen. :P But his job (and my school) is in the UK. If we were to move to the US, I couldn't start my program until 2010, he'd have to find a job at the same school or one in the same town... it gets complicated. Plus, I love England, so England it is.
Ok, so we have two routes:
1) I get a student visa, my daughter gets a student's dependent visa. We shell out £290, which is around $450. Go to the UK, live with fiance, finish my degree, and get married next summer in the US. Since he's a US citizen, there are no problems there, and I can easily switch from a student to a spouse visa. Paperwork that has to be sent off: proof of US financial aid, sponsorship papers from my school, and a few other things.
2) We get married in the US and apply for a spouse visa for me and a family dependent visa for my daughter. Shell out £1170 (equivalent to ~$1800). This would actually save us money in the long run because visa fees go up almost every year and we'd have to pay that much or more next year, after already paying the £290 for the student visa. If we go this route we have to send off 3-6 months worth of bank statements for both of us, plus my divorce papers, proof of child support, proof of mortgage or his tenancy agreement (haven't signed off on the house yet, so this depends on where we are in regards to that), and about a billion other pieces of information.
The benefits of getting married this year are pretty clear. The downside is that we have to be in the UK for the beginning of the school year in early September, so I don't have time to change my name on my passport (two weeks if expedited) plus wait for the visa (one week if expedited and we're lucky). I guess this isn't really a huge consideration, it's just that we're going to be really rushed in getting everything done and can't just sigh and run off on a honeymoon like I'd prefer.
On the other hand, I really just can't wait to be married to him. :)
I don't know. I'm graduating right now and we're in the middle of buying a house and everything is just starting to seem like too much. But then again, maybe it's kind of perfect. Our life together is literally beginning NOW, in every sense.
*Ahem.* I should also add that fiance has completely vetoed a courthouse wedding. I think it would be sweet, but no, not an option.
Phewf... its nice to know that the fees are similar across the world. It still stings a bit...
Well, I think you said it best when you said, "it's kind of perfect" Your life together is starting now!
Is it really that big of a deal if you can't change your name before you move? That's just a small detail... you'll be together sooner. Now, after your reply, I say go for it. I would love to be with my FI right now. I'd marry him in a potato sack dress in the desert just to get the chance to be with him every day.
I'd say do a small and simple wedding now, and have your big celebration later. The reception is meant to be a celebration of being married - while unconventional - there is no reason it can't be a year or two later.
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"I'd marry him in a potato sack dress in the desert just to get the chance to be with him every day." <--- Hee. 
I think we'll figure it out once he gets here in a week. I hate making this sort of decision over the phone... and I think he's pretty much left it up to me since he doesn't care whether we get married tomorrow, next week, or a year from now (as long as we don't get married in a courthouse).
I just want it to be a lovely wedding, and I'm sure it will be whether we get married this summer or next. I do worry that no one will be able to make it last minute, but that might be a problem even if we give them enough time.
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It seems like you would rather be married now than later! :) I hope all the planning stuff will get taken care of... there's A LOT you can find here on weddingbee or other sites like projectwedding, stylemepretty, snippet and ink.... do you have $ in the budget for a wedding planner? maybe that will help you so that you can get the ideas and stuff you need in a short amount of time. Good luck!
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I know, that wasn't a very descriptive title, but that's more or less what's running through my mind right now.
I (we) need to decide when we're getting married. We originally wanted to get married next August, but he's British and I'm not and I was going to be getting a student visa to attend grad school in the UK. Then I started having second thoughts about starting a new grad program, so we thought we'd get married THIS summer and take care of all that. Now, I just don't know what to do.
1. I have a kid. I told him when we first started talking about getting married that I wouldn't live with him unless we were married. Later I was willing to make an exception because we will definitely be getting married; our relationship is permanent. But. We're buying a house in the UK, and I think there's something special about moving into our new house and living together for the first time as a married couple. Aww.
2. I want to have more kids... I'm young. He's not as young. My daughter's getting older. Having kids is something that we'd like to do in the next couple of years (can't really afford to wait), and I want to be married for a while first.
3. Wedding planning is rough. I know some of you out there are doing it now or have already done it, but planning a wedding in only a couple of months is ROUGH! All of our family and friends are scattered across the globe. What if nobody comes? What if I can't find a dress in time? What if nobody comes?
4. My sister got married this year. She's proof that a wedding can be planned in a short amount of time, but I feel like it's just a twinge disrespectful to get married in the same year. Not a big deal, but just weird.
5. I can't apply for my visa until after we're married, but we have to be in the UK by early September. It can take a while to get the visa, so we have to change the dates on our plane tickets (already purchased), which is expensive. I don't have time to change the last name on my passport and we won't be able to leave the country (not a big deal, there are great places to visit in the US) for the honeymoon. If we have the wedding next year, we'll have the time to luxuriate and take care of all these pesky details.
6. The wedding would be "better" if we get married next year. I can geek out on the details, guests can get their invites in a reasonable time frame, and I can spend a whole extra year planning! Whoo!
Ok, this got long. I guess I just can't see the forest for all the trees at this point. Does one option seem like a clear winner? Get married now or get married later?
Thanks for the help. I love you ladies.
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