- 9 years ago
I know, that wasn’t a very descriptive title, but that’s more or less what’s running through my mind right now.
I (we) need to decide when we’re getting married. We originally wanted to get married next August, but he’s British and I’m not and I was going to be getting a student visa to attend grad school in the UK. Then I started having second thoughts about starting a new grad program, so we thought we’d get married THIS summer and take care of all that. Now, I just don’t know what to do.
1. I have a kid. I told him when we first started talking about getting married that I wouldn’t live with him unless we were married. Later I was willing to make an exception because we will definitely be getting married; our relationship is permanent. But. We’re buying a house in the UK, and I think there’s something special about moving into our new house and living together for the first time as a married couple. Aww.
2. I want to have more kids… I’m young. He’s not as young. My daughter’s getting older. Having kids is something that we’d like to do in the next couple of years (can’t really afford to wait), and I want to be married for a while first.
3. Wedding planning is rough. I know some of you out there are doing it now or have already done it, but planning a wedding in only a couple of months is ROUGH! All of our family and friends are scattered across the globe. What if nobody comes? What if I can’t find a dress in time? What if nobody comes?
4. My sister got married this year. She’s proof that a wedding can be planned in a short amount of time, but I feel like it’s just a twinge disrespectful to get married in the same year. Not a big deal, but just weird.
5. I can’t apply for my visa until after we’re married, but we have to be in the UK by early September. It can take a while to get the visa, so we have to change the dates on our plane tickets (already purchased), which is expensive. I don’t have time to change the last name on my passport and we won’t be able to leave the country (not a big deal, there are great places to visit in the US) for the honeymoon. If we have the wedding next year, we’ll have the time to luxuriate and take care of all these pesky details.
6. The wedding would be "better" if we get married next year. I can geek out on the details, guests can get their invites in a reasonable time frame, and I can spend a whole extra year planning! Whoo!
Ok, this got long. I guess I just can’t see the forest for all the trees at this point. Does one option seem like a clear winner? Get married now or get married later?
Thanks for the help. I love you ladies.