Post # 1
FI and I got engaged in March of this year (2012). It’s August and we are just now getting around to deciding on a date. We pretty much knew it’d be in 2014, but that’s it.
So….I want a Spring 2014 wedding in like March or April, and he wants a late summer wedding in Aug or Sep. I’m bummed for a few reasons. Mainly b/c late summer is exactly 2 years from now which seems sooo far away.
I’m 29 and he’s 26…so I guess I’d like to start a family soon so there’s less of a chance of having a high risk pregnancy. I know 6 mos is not a huge difference in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason right now I feel it is. My other concern is that since summer is wedding season, and most summer weddings are in June/July, an Aug/Sep wedding seems like an “encore wedding”. Like it’s late or something. I think I’d get antsy while everyone elses weddings happen in the prior months and feel like mine would be anticlimactic by the time it rolls around.
I don’t know if these are good or stupid reasons.
His reasons for wanting Aug/Sep are b/c he wants summer and neither of us wants June/July. Our anniversary is in August. And I also think it’s b/c it’s further out and I can tell with him being younger he’s not really in a rush. Not that he doesn’t want to get married, but he doesn’t have the sense of urgency that I do with the biological clock and all.
I haven’t let him know yet how strongly I feel about a Spring wedding, cause I’m trying to decide whether it’s worth trying to sway him, or if I should just go with what he wants. Picking my battles, ya know?
So what do you ladies think? Am I being unreasonable not to want to go with his date(s)?
Post # 3
@Reign14: I know you’re antsy. But I think the difference between April and August is so small… Maybe you can get married near your anniversary I think that makes it really special! Depending on your location too it may be less expensive!
Post # 4
You don’t have an option for, I picked the date and he said okay whatever you want love HAHA
Well, I think if you want to get married six months earlier just cus of the baby thing, you can probably relax and go with his if he has such a strong opinion. However, if you want a spring wedding because you want a spring wedding, then advocate for that and explain to him that this is the vision you have. FYI, two years will fly by… my engagement has gone from 19 months to less than a year in the blink of an eye!!!
Post # 5
@loving_life: I added an option for you. I was hoping this was how he’d be, but alas he has an opinion. *Sigh* The colors and theme I chose actually go better with Spring but could go with Summer too, just not Fall. So that’s flexible. It’s the timing thing I’m more concerned about.
Time has actually flown since we got engaged 5 months ago, so you might be right, maybe it’ll fly by. Maybe I’m overestimating how much time it really is. That’s really what I’m trying to gage.
@love108: Yeah, the anniversay idea is not bad. Are August weddings usually less expensive than Spring weddings? I know nothing about these things.
Post # 6
Could you compromise and get married August of 2013?
Post # 7
It was difficult because he wanted an autumn wedding (and so did I) but I am a teacher and didn’t see how it would work out. It was hard for him to let go of, but eventually, he understood and went with what I wanted.
Post # 8
Also see when the “off season” is in your area. At our venue the pp cost difference between a sat in march and a sat in august is like 20 bucks. Which adds up fast.
ETA: You’re in Jersey (same as me) so March is definitely cheaper at most venues.
Post # 9
Why does he want summer? Because it’s warm? Then I suggest late spring, i.e. May.
I love spring, and we both like warm weather, so I was a late spring bride. (November in Australia is like May in northern hemisphere).
Post # 10
@CharmBracelet: 2013 is not an option, that’s way too soon. I won’t be finished with school until December of 2013.
The year being 2014 is the one thing we do agree on!
Post # 11
@asscherlover: Thanks for the info, that’s a big difference! That’s one good reason to go with the Spring. Of course we’re not sure if we’re doing it local or destination.
@paula1248: Yeah I think b/c it’s warm and b/c he’s a very traditional guy and likes to do things the way most others do it. Summer is popular so he’s all for it. I’m more of a think-outside-the-box type (I was even considering December). Also, May in NJ is so unpredictable. You never know whether it’ll be warm or cold.
Post # 12
Wow, now I’m even MORE bummed looking at the poll results. Seems like most people had an easy time agreeing or their FI just went with the date they wanted. I wish my FI wasn’t so difficult!!!
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Our engagement is going to be one month shy of 2 years. I love having a longer engagement because we are able to budget more and slowly accumulate things for the wedding. The first time around I rushed and planned everything in 5 months so I spent the entire time being stressed instead of enjoying the planning process. This time I am tackling one project per month so I have been way less stressed.
As for color scheme issues, down here we tossed out the seasonal colors for the most part. Even though I am getting married in November we are having bright summery colors (turquoise and lime.) I think it’s more important to pick a venue you love, then settle on a date they have available, and then pick your color scheme based on the venue so it compliments the venue. But that’s just MHO.
Post # 14
He wanted Fall, i wanted Spring. We’re getting married in August.
We had to work around other weddings and our parents schedules. IN the end, what does the date really matter? I just want to marry him!
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I always wanted to get married in April or October, and we ended up in July, due to venue availability. So I’d make that your focus before you deal with color schemes, etc.- figure out *where* you want to get married, then focus on *when.*
I disagree with you that an August/September wedding is “less special” than one in June- the month it’s in really doesn’t matter-your guests aren’t going to judge you for that. The Knot’s 2011 survey said- “Most Popular Wedding Month: June (15%).” So that means the MAJORITY of weddings aren’t in June. May’s the third most popular month, if it’s really a concern of his.
Post # 16
@rebwana: Good advice….makes me feel a litle bit better. Thanks!