(Closed) Agreeing (or the lack there of) on how to manage finances

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I agree that tracking your finances makes good financial sense.  Try to make your FH understand that by tracking your expenses, you can save money in the long run. 

Post # 4
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I LOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE excel spreadsheets so I am totally bias. 

But, here’s my “compromise” suggestion:  I think you guys should have the joint account to pay reoccuring bills and get an AMEX or Chase Blueprint card for everything else.  Because these credit cards automatically keep track of your expenses by month, type, etc, you wont have to make the excel sheet or ask your hubby for reciepts.  The only scare is potential “over spending”

Post # 5
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Everyone needs to track their finances whether they are responsible or not.  It helps you to know how much you pay in bills every month, what your other expenses are and how much ‘play money’ you really can afford to have every month.  I would look into Mint.com or something, I use Quicken because my dad gives me a free copy of it when he is done using it.

Post # 7
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@jrr11: Using a credit card is good if you know you can pay it off every month.  I put everything on a credit card for cash back/points etc.

Post # 8
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My situation is slightly different becasue my F and I got joint bank accounts after being together for only about 10months. The system that we have found that works best is that we have a joint pool from which we can pay bills, rent, and pay our joint credit card (pay for date nights, groceries, and other joint expenses) BUT we also have individual accounts which we each take care of ourselves. However we both happen to be really OCD and keep pretty meticulous records about our spending… we just don’t necessarily share that information with each other regularly.

Post # 9
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@2shy2Bbf: i am right there with you!!!! seriously – i would be completely lost and probably curl up in the fetal position if anything happened to my excel spreadsheets!!!!

first off – i am going to be completely honest and say how weird it is that your FI doesn’t want any sort of record keeping…like someone else said – it’s the most responsible thing to do is to keep a record of your finances – course maybe it’s beyond me that people don’t…just because I have OCD and this is something I’ve done for 10+ years… 🙂

but anyways…i would ONLY agree with the credit card thing as long as you are 1000% you can pay it off every month. credit card debt sucks!

I’m sure if you do a google search, you will find many different record keeping files to get you started!

maybe just start something for your own – then show him how it’s about NUMBERS, not trust…good luck!!

Post # 10
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would strongly suggest tracking your finances regardless of financial status. IT will help with budgeting,saving, spending, everything! We use mint.com and it has helped immensely!!

Post # 11
Member
3640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Could you try explaining that it is NOT a trust issue. This is a way to follow HOUSEHOLD expenses and see where the HOUSEHOLD spends the most money and therefore, where the budget need to be bigger. It is also a way to see where the HOUSEHOLD can save money. It’s not about what you spend vs what he spends, it’s just about tracking where the overall money goes so that when things change (jobs, kids etc) you know where you can change the budget.

Could you try explaining it like that?

Post # 12
Member
14309 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think keep tracking of finances to some extent is a good idea for anyone, even people who are good with money and don’t over spend.   It never hurts to have a record and just have an idea of where your money is going.  I keep track of all my spending in MS money, and love that at any time I know exactly what I owe on what CC (even though I pay them in full every month), how much I’m spending on different categories, and exactly how much money I have in savings and what not.

FI and I just bought a house together and are really starting to combine things.  We have a household/spending spreadsheet right now detailing *everything* (down daily coffees we buy – we also never use cash and charge anything so its very easy to track) we’re spending for at least the next year so that we get a good feeling of what owning the house really cost through all 4 seasons and how much we can manage to save. 

Maybe you can just have him track household and common expenses only.  And tell him that his spending account you dont need to know anything about.

Post # 13
Member
1264 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

FH and I have just combined finances and some of the stuff we do might be of use to you.

  • We have a joint account for paying our mortgage, utilities, food and petrol.  Both our salaries go into this account and we pay most of our bills by automatic payment or direct debit.  We don’t take any cash out of this bank a/c
  • We have a joint credit card that we use to pay for all our food, petrol and date nights / joint entertainment (dinnrs, movies etc) – the credit card then gets paid out of the joint account (via online banking)
  • We both get a monthly allowance paid into our own individual accounts which we then use to buy our own stuff (hair cuts, clothes, Xbox games etc)
  • I did up a basic budget to ensure that we could cover all our living expenses and mortgage payments which means we don’t have to monitor our spending down to the last dollar.

FWIW I think that keeping track of your finances is just good business sense – the last thing you want to do is end up in financial trouble because you don’t know what you’re spending your money on 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@jrr11: Actually, I was going to recommend that you do the OPPOSITE with your credit card–ie, use the CC to pay for all your NECESSARY expenses that you can–things that you would already pay for regardless: food, car insurance, home insurance, gas etc. etc. Those are built-in expenses that you can’t really change, so that will prevent you from going “overboard.” Then hook it up to your checking account to do an automatic payment each month. It also, as a a PP said, helps you earn points, miles, whatever.

Then use your checking account or cash for all your elective purchases.

At least, that’s the way I do it and it’s much, much easier. My expenses are clearly laid out on the card statements and I don’t have to worry about them being paid month-to-month.

 

Post # 15
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You should get the book “Financially Ever After” by Jeff Opdyke. He was a columnist for the Wall Street Journal. It is a fantastic guide to how to talk about money in a relationship, in the context of combining your finances. We are using it to help us transition to shared finances and it is a gold mine!

Post # 16
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

FI and I have a shared account since we live together, we have had a shared account for a year and a half. We do the normal check book register that comes with the checks, but we also use mint.com. It allows us to make a budget, and then it will send me text messages if we go over budget on a certain area. We have always had a budget, and we don’t go over much, but with the wedding we actually did want to have a budget in front of our eyes. Mint.com is a free website. I don’t work for them or anything, it is just a suggestion, it has helped us a lot, so we can pay for the wedding.

 

Good Luck!

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