Weddingbee boards

Ladies, I am in dire need of your advice. I have been battling with this question for much too long now and I am now looking to bride to bees or those of you that may have potentially been through this before.

My fiance and I have been planning the most intimate wedding that up until this point has brought me so much joy and excitement. We have put down all of our deposits, sent out save the dates, and I recently had my bridal shower! Our wedding is only three months away...

 
That being said, I am seriously considering leaving my job. I know, how irresponsible of me right? The truth is, I haven't enjoyed the last four months of the planning process because I work 60 hour work weeks, fall asleep and wake up to my blackberry, and hardly have time to THINK of a wedding. I am fortunate that I've had a planner that has helped maintain my sanity but even then I cannot accept that I am not enjoying one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I have an incredible fiance that I love profoundly and when we got engaged, we knew perfectly well that our families were in no position to help us financially and that we were going to take it on all on our own. Unforunately, if I left my job, it would put us in a difficult financial situation and I'm certain we could not fulfill all of the payments due.

I've looked over our contracts a hundred times, tried and tried to figure a way to cut costs but again, leaving my job would still put us severely behind (I make a bit more than he does at this time). My work situation is so manic that I'm not certain we could even have a honeymoon. I've tried talking to family and friends about this but they all insist that there must be ways to cut back or they suggest pulling a loan, which I'm not crazy about. I dont want to incur debt to pay off an event that will last ONE day.

I'm struggling with the idea of extending an engagement because all I truly want is to be married to the man I love. I didnt grow up dreaming of my wedding but as this has all unraveled, I've discovered that there are a lot of elements I'd like to incorporate that are very meaningful to me and I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice.

 
In other words, would it be absolutely ghastly of me to post pone despite having sent out save the dates? Should we push everything back and allow more time to save and have our ideal wedding? Should we elope with our close friends/family? Or...should I hang in there with my job and keep all of this stress bottled up until after the wedding? My fiance is open to whatever I choose. He's been incredibly supportive but even him leaving up to me brings me more stress. PLEASE HELP :(

I agree with the girls. If you've come this far in your planning and the wedding is now only 3 months away i would try and stick it out! How long are you prepared to postpone? If you leave and find it difficult finding a new job it could be a long time before you have saved to have your dream wedding! It must be horrible being in such a stressful situation and not liking your work. If the wedding was a year away i'd say maybe yes put the wedding off but it's so close now are you really prepared to stop it? You'd probably need to give a months notice anyway wouldn't you? I think if your going to leave do it after the wedding or just before as someone else has mentioned! Good luck!

Thank you girls! I'm in complete agreement with you all, being unemployed would be a nightmare in itself, however; I'm fortunate in that I currently have two job offerings. Trouble is, there would be a paycut and I couldnt take the necessary time off for a honeymoon as planned.

Many of you suggested sticking it through. When planning this wedding, we alloted for funds on the assumption that I would stick it through, since I have for nearly two years now but its gotten to the point where I am physically ill Monday mornings with just the THOUGHT of coming in to the office and when anyone talks to me about anything wedding related I am so vacant and unresponsive because I'm so overwhelmed with my job.

@MrsJKH2be: you are not being a jerk! believe me, plenty of people have suggested this very thing but its ALOT easier said than done because unforunately I work for a COMPLETE jerk.

@MrsAsb:my immediate thoughts are to keep the date and just make some serious (and quick!) changes. I've actually entertained the idea of an elopment in Spain (where we are booked to honeymoon) with our intermediate family and having a hometown reception. We'd lose a bit in deposits but the savings would be unreal in turn. That OR, just push it back, keep our vendors,and allot a bit more time to save. We're not too far off from our goal.

Thank you ALL so much. I literally couldn't wait to get yo your responses, there's nothing like a bride to be or an actual bride to help through these times.