Post # 1
So I am literally the OLDEST woman in my family (23, 24 at the wedding) that is not married, have children, or both! Even when my Fiance and I were just dating we would get questions of when we were going to get married (at 19 btw!) and when we were going to have children.. I have a large family with over 40 cousins btw.. Now, I know this is out of the “norm”, but I can’t help thinking that I am the only woman in my family who has any sense to her.. The only other girl in my family I thought would ‘make it’ was my little cousin (17, senior in HS), but I just found out she’s expecting twins! Now I’m genuinely happy that our family is getting 2 new additions and I’m excited for all the new steps in her life, but at the same time I’m disappointed. I thought she was going to “make it” *sigh* Am I ahead of my famiy or falling behind the timeline.. what is the deal?!
anyone else out there have similar family dynamics or am I the only one?
Post # 3
I think you are smarter than your family. You have to do whats best for you, even if everyone else thinks differently. I personally think you are doing things the right way, but others don’t think that way.
Post # 4
17 and going to have twins? Oh my! I hope she has a ton of support!
I don’t think you are ahead or behind. I think you are doing things the way you know you need to do them for you. Obviously growing up you saw people get married young and have kids young, and you must have decided you didn’t want that and did what you needed to do for you. There is nothing bad about that. Good for you for following your own path. 🙂
Post # 5
I think you’re in the right place and exactly where you’re supposed to be. You are smart for not rushing into things. I agree with above… you’re not ahead nor behind. Just right honey! I think you’re most certainly on the right track!
Post # 6
I’m a great aunt 3 times over at 26. Granted, I have 5 much older half-siblings, and my nephews are almost as old as I am… It’s still weird. And I think you’re doing just fine! Your mid-twenties are a good time to be getting started.
Post # 7
I think you are definitely making the right choices for you. While I suppose marrying and starting a family very young can work for some, it’s not for everyone. Including myself! Actually, I am 23 and consider myself to be getting married quite young, but not by my family’s standards (or my hometown’s standards).
I have a similar family dynamic as you. I too am the oldest woman in my family who is not yet married with children, but both of my parents are the youngest in their families and have much older siblings. Therefore all of my cousins are older than me (and I am an only child).
I have also been getting the question “So when are you getting married?” for a while now, since Fiance and I have been together more than 5 years. My grandmother has been asking about great-grandkids since I was 19, probably! However, I am from a small town where it is the norm to get married right out of high school and have kids. It is crazy to me how many of the girls I graduated from high school with already have 2 or 3 kids!
Post # 8
Thanks guys, I never really feel like I’m ‘behind’ but sometimes my family makes me feel that way!
and MissSorbet… I’m from a similar town when people get married and start families young, but I still can’t comprehend what it would be like to be married with kids at my age!
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s a question of being ahead or behind. It’s simply a matter of making a choice. You know what you feel like and what you want and that is a very good thing. It must make you feel pressured though.