Post # 1
Help! I’m supposed to be getting engaged in the next few months. BF was totally happy with getting me a moissanite ring. I spent like 3 months pouring over MoissaniteCo.com picking out a ring. I finally picked one out. Super in love with it.
And now he is all like, “I don’t want to get you that “fake stone,” I’ll get you a diamond. My family would laugh at me if you showed up wearing anything other that a diamond.” Even though he was super on board with moissanite in the first place.
I DON’T WANT A DIAMOND. Now I’m like freaking out that he’s going to go against my wishes. Plus, I spent so long picking out my perfect setting and now he’s like “I’ll get you whatever I want to.” Plus he’s hesitant to order offline now.
Any ideas how to communicate to him that I want a moissanite, not a diamond? He thinks I’ll be happier with a diamond in the long run, but I absolutely fell in love with moissanite.
Post # 3
Google “The Atlantic Have you ever tried to sell a diamond” and see if any of that info changes his mind.
Ultimately, it is a gift to you from him though, and he can pick out what he wants to give you as a gift. I would have been disappointed to receive a diamond too though, so I can relate. I wanted moissanite. Luckily Fiance was on board right away 🙂
Post # 4
I think you should show him some of the posts on here. Many threads are about how much bees love their moissys, and they are proud of them as gemstones, not diamond alternatives. I mean, it is your opinion that matters and you need to explain to him that it is what you want and why you want it. He should be worrying about your opinion since you’re the one wearing it forever, not his family’s. And really, diamonds are gorgeous, not putting them down in anyway, but the trend of them being the only stone for an engagement ring is so out of style nowadays..
Post # 5
Ya if you shared others perspectives on moissys he might not feel the same way. On the other hand..he offered to get you a diamond or “whatever you want” consider it?
Post # 6
He offered to get you whatever you want, so tell him that whatever is Moissanite! MoissaniteCo has an excellent return policy also, so if he/you are unhappy when you recieve the ring, you can return it.
He doesn’t need to announce to his family that he didn’t buy you a diamond. If they ask, you can tell them it’s Moissy and it’s exactly what you wanted. That’s what matters.
Post # 7
No, he said he’ll get me whatever HE wants to get me. 🙁 Boo. I know it’s his money, but it’s my ring! lol
Post # 8
Seems like a weird 180…I’m guessing he mentioned his plans to someone & got negative feedback. I would try to get the full story out of him, then remind him that you’re the one who has to wear it forever- these people with negative opinions will forget about what you’re wearing on your finger, but you’re stuck with it.
Post # 9
@Paiger8: Whoops! Misread!
I agreee with les – I wonder if he mentioned buying a Moissanite to someone and that someone scoffed at it and said all girls want a diamond.
Tell him while you appreciate the gesture and know he wants to get you the best, the best for you is Moissanite. You’re not settling with the option – you prefer it to a diamond! And remind him you will be the one wearing it for the rest of your life, so you want something you know you’ll love.
And heck, if down the line you hate your Moissy you can always upgrade and get a diamond later in life.
Post # 10
Why don’t you show him a series of real ring pictures (not stock pictures) pulled here from the board, some of diamonds, some of moissys and ask him if he can tell which ones are the “fake stones” and which ones are the “real stones” as he calls them? I would suspect that he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Unless someone is an expert at it, most people can’t. Then explain to him that when he told you that you could pick out something, that you did the research and that you have fallen in love with *this ring* You could also show him the threads of multiple happy bees who have purchased their moissy rings online to reassure him.
My Fiance was stuck on the diamond thing at first too- he lives in a mining town and guys buy into the marketing crap that is fed to them sometimes (no offense guys!) Girls do too. But my Fiance also wanted me to be happy, and when I showed him my research and explained to him what I wanted, he came around. I’m not ashamed of my moissy and if someone asked, I’d tell them what it was (and I have.) But most people can’t tell it apart from a diamond. And if anyone did suspect it wasn’t a diamond, they wouldn’t be rude enough to say anything. They just say “what a beautiful ring.” Which is what it’s about really. A beautiful symbol of your committment, no matter what stone is in it.
Post # 11
Is he aware of the price difference between your moissanite and a comparable diamond ring? That might help.
Post # 12
I’d tell him I wouldn’t wear the ring. Would I feel like a bitch? Maybe. But I’m not wearing something I don’t like.
Post # 13
I would just focus on the sentiment behind the ring. I’m sure you love your SO very much and can’t wait to marry him. Focus on that! Who cares if the stone is a diamond or a moissy or whatever. I’m sure it will be pretty. If it’s that important to him, let him do it in his own way.
Post # 14
I’d buy him something he doesn’t like and be all “I don’t care that you don’t like it I think it’s better, my friend barry said it is and your choice means nothing to me”
See how he feels then
Gifts are about the reciever not the giver. How gorram selfish is that
Post # 15
@MrsVanilla: Yeah he is aware of the price difference. I think he’d get me like a .75 ct-1ct diamond vs. the 1.25-1.5 ct moissy I had picked out. Which is rediculous because he’d be spending twice to 3 times as much for something I’d like less.
@Anardana: Haha, I told him I’d get him a hot pink sparkly ring and see if he’d like it. He said he’d “lose it.”
Post # 16
@Paiger8: This happened to my Fiance. I told him I wanted a Moissy and not a diamond (I am anti-diamond) and his female co-workers tried to convince him that I was only saying that. That what I really wanted was a big, flashy diamond, and I was only saying it because of the finances. Totally untrue. He voiced his concern to me, so I wrote him a letter explaining all the reasons I feel a Moissy is superior to a diamond. I listed all of my facts, cited them, and told him if anyone says anything, he can give them a copy. He got the point. It’s all about communicating what you want.