(Closed) ahhhhhh *vent*

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

I totally understand why you would be sad about this. Obviously, if you are given a specific timeframe and that timeframe comes and goes, it is dissapointing. How long have you guys been together? Have you spoken to your SO about your feelings since graduation?

Post # 4
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think you’re being silly. he said you’d be engaged before you graduated, but you’ve graduated now, and you’re not engaged. It only maked sense that you’re frustrated and wondering why not.

Just ask him, and tell him you’re frustrated. Maybe the ring is just getting adjusted??

I’d be upset too, mostly because he didn’t even tell you that a proposal would have to wait another month (or whatever), so then you got your hopes up and everything.

Post # 5
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Do you know if he has purchased the ring yet? 

Post # 6
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@nutMeg13: Definitely talk to him about it.  You need to make sure you’re on the same page here.  I also know how it feels to be disappointed.  I personally thought I would be engaged by now for sure based on a conversation we had nearly 2 years ago.  But I realize he was just giving me an estimate of when he would like to get married, etc.  So last month I told him straight up that things had to be clear.  And he made an outright promise to me for the first time that an engagement would happen in July.  Did your SO make a promise to you or did he mention getting engaged by X date in passing (as mine did originally)? 

I really suggest sitting him down and being straight with each other.  It helped me a lot.

Post # 8
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@nutMeg13:

I went through a similar thing.

He may have purchased the ring and he may have not. Sometimes men get stuck on that part of the proposal. Maybe if its not a factor you can tell him how much you want to be with him and how you don’t mind not having a proper ring. Maybe you can pick one out toghether.

 

Post # 9
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Maybe just come out and ask him if he is thinking about it/planning it? That’s what I did. I kept seeing “signs” and thinking he would do it and then get disappointed when he didn’t so I just asked him if he’s thinking about it/planning it because I’m getting frustrated with waiting and he told me not to worry – that it will happen soon. I know it’s hard because you don’t want to ruin any surprise he may have plan – but I think if you explain to him that you have concerns since he has gone back on his timeline before and you just need to know that it will happen soon – it won’t ruin anything. Good luck – hope it happens soon!

Post # 10
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Good luck- hope your wait is short.

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Why not just ask him point blank what is going on?  If you are upset that he hasn’t given you a ring when he said he would, I think you should talk to him about it.  I wouldn’t make assumptions about what he is thinking.  He might just be planning a nice vaca, it could be something else of course, but I think communication is important.

Post # 12
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

That would have hurt my feelings too.
Maybe he thought there wouldn’t be any surprise if you knew when it would happen. I don’t know. Men are scary dumb when it comes to emotions sometimes.

I hope everything works out for you sooN!

*hug*

Post # 13
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Because of what he said it sounds to me like he wants to propose on vacation…

And congratulations on graduating!

Post # 14
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

do not say anything until after your vacation he might have something planned and talking about it could ruin it give him a chance first then if nothing happens it might be time to have a talk you will be so mad at yourself if you ruin his suprise

Post # 15
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

Don’t say you’ll settle for fake diamonds if you’ve said you wanted something specific this whole time. That could really throw him off and make it take longer!

Post # 16
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

nutmeg, it sounds like things actually may be moving along. With him planning the trip, getting upset about the passports, etc. it seems like he has something planned… Try to relax and enjoy each day at a time. I know it’s hard, but just try to take a step back and remember that it will happen when it happens and it will be GREAT! 

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