(Closed) Ahhh….my future MIL…rant-all welcome to join in

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yikes…these all suck.  

 

Fruitcake…bleh.

Post # 5
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well, at least it seems like everything is in order now! She just seems a bit spacey. Or maybe a lot spacey. Seriously, she didn’t know not to wear white? When my FMIL asked about what she should wear that was my only request – “Not white”.

Post # 6
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Until recently, I thought my MIL was pretty awesome.

But that was until she started gossiping about MY mom to MY sister because they work together.  She has nothing interesting to talk about so she just gossips about everyone and it’s so annoying.  She told my husband and I to let her know if she ever starts acting like her mother because she didn’t want to be that way.  Well lady, it’s happening!

Post # 7
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I bet my MIL tops yours on the scale of 1-nuts..

She’s been making demands since the beginning even though she is contributing absolutely zero for the wedding (my parents are paying, she’s insisting on open bar, huge meals, communion at church)

My dress is simple, and when we were talking about hers and what my mom would wear she insisted on MORE BLING

She constantly threatening to not invite people if she doesn’t get her way

She has hissy fits and cries and manipulates my FH by going behind my back n talking to him n only him when she doesn’t like or agree with something

Constantly throws around the words “disgrace, embarassment, it will make us look bad”

…. i could go on, but… don’t want to errupt at work.

Post # 8
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My MIL was great during wedding planning…she stayed out of the way. I might have hurt her feelings by not asking for more help, but we really had it under control. The only issue we had was with our decision to not invite children and that was more an issue with her siblings than with her.

Post # 9
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

omg i cannot believe the gardening part there!  That’s when you hire a landscaper! Wow. Well, at least your wedding is almost here and you can put it all behind you!  My FMIL is actually fantastic, so I can’t contribute any fun stories! Now, if only my own mother was as great as my MIL!  

Post # 10
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

my MIL seems pretty hands off but thats because she currently thinks we are getting married at a church… which we so arent! i am sure ill have more bitching to do in a few months when we drop that bomb

Post # 11
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@bostongirl27:  If we can find an outdoor venue for the # of people we’ve got.. my FH wants to do the same, he doesn’t want his mom to find out until the invitation (my only concern with that, is that’s also when they’ll find out that their names aren’t on the invite… too much of a double whammy??)

Post # 12
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My FMIL is awful. We heard from FIs cousin that FMIL wasn’t even coming to the wedding. And then last week made all sorts of crazy demands and when I told her no, She told me our marriage would not last because we don’t have God in our lives. FI and I go to church, we aren’t the best people in the world, but we are Christians. And FMIL definitely is not one to be talking about God and a marriage lasting. There have been other incidents too, which make me want to explode.

Post # 13
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be severely pissed off if my mother-in-law wore all-white to the wedding! I don’t know about other parts of the world, but where I live, women who wear all-white outfits to other women’s weddings are either doing it because they’re the type of person who ALWAYS has to be the center of attention (even at the most inappropriate times, like someone else’s big day) or they do it as a very passive-aggressive way of letting everyone know how much they dislike the bride.  Either way, it’s extremely rude and I definitely wouldn’t tolerate being disrespected like that on my wedding day, especially by my mother or FI’s mother.  When my cousin got married, her step-mother wore an all-white outfit, and even though my cousin’s wedding was nearly twenty years ago now, the family is STILL talking about what a nasty bitch the stepmother is for doing that, so that will tell you how much it’s frowned upon here, and I don’t want anyone to be talking about my wedding the same way for the next twenty years!  If anyone shows up at my wedding dressed in all-white, they’re going to be told to go home and change, and I don’t care how much of a bridezilla I sound like for saying it.  I’m simply NOT allowing that kind of nonsense at my wedding!

I think it’s fine if people want to wear white with floral print (or some other pattern) but pure white ought to be reserved for the bride.  Even if the bride chooses not to wear white herself, white is still typically considered to be the bride’s color and I’ve heard of instances where women who wore white dresses to other people’s weddings were confused for the bride and had people congratulating them!  Even if the dress/outfit doesn’t look like something a bride would wear, guests should still refrain from wearing all-white out of respect.  With countless other colors to choose from, there’s absolutely NO logical reason why any guest would HAVE to wear WHITE at someone else’s wedding. If they have an all-white outfit that they love and are dying to wear, let them save it for another occasion!  I honestly don’t know why so many women seem to struggle so much with the simple concept that only the BRIDE (and possibly the flower girl or the groom) should be wearing white at a wedding.  Guests should be gracious enough to let the bride and groom have the spotlight on their wedding day because it’s only for ONE DAY after all and it’s honestly NOT that hard.

Post # 14
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mayflowerbride13:  It wouldn’t bother me one bit if my parents or FI’s parents refused to invite anyone.  I’d be happy enough just to invite my own guests and FI’s guests. πŸ™‚  She can’t stop you from inviting who you want, so just invite everyone you want there yourselves, and if she chooses not to ask anyone else, that’s on her.

Post # 15
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

On the day of my wedding, my MIL and SIl tried to take over my wedding. Literally.

My SIL REFUSED to get in a lot of pictures because she wasn’t around when my aunt was taking random pictures of me and my BM’s.

MIL had her friend help her out with a lot of the Traditional Macedonain stuff and she ruined mt whole day. She called me fat, ungrateful American and said I needed to watch my mouth when I talk to her because I was being rude when I told her to knock it off because this was my wedding not hers. My MIL saw all this happening and said nothing, actually particiapted in talking crap about me with my SIL and bridal psycho.

My MIL cussed my my dad out at the reception because I wanted to be introduced to American music and they kept telling the band to play Macedonian music. I got ym way but still.

Now MIL and SIL hate my guts.

It’ll be okay. No one said that you had to like your MIL.

 

Post # 16
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I genuinely think my FMIL doesn’t like my FI all that much, she is constantly making him look small and stupid, even over ridiculous things. To quote she once said that she is not proud of any of her sons, now I don’t mind any of FI’s brothers and I really like his sister but that is simply because we are closer than I am with his brothers. My FMIL does not speak to her eldest son and hasn’t done for about 10 years possibly more, which to me as a mother is unthinkable, and this is all because he fell out with his younger brother because the younger brother raised his hand to her. Now this all happened when they were teenagers so to me it is a stupid fight between siblings and should be laid to rest. We had an awful incident at a family wedding the other week where she did the seating plan and stuck her eldest son in the far corner of the room away from any of his family. He’s a lovely guy too and his wife is adorable, he’s a fantastic husband and very hardworking. The 3rd son (my FI being the 2nd) no longer sees her. She doesn’t have a good word to say about him either and this is simply because he spent a lot more time with his mil, heaven forbid he looks after his mother in law after she’s just lost her husband. Worse still there are 3 grandchildren here too. He’s is a good father, husband and an honest hard working man. The youngest son is also the victim of constant dismissals from the family, one minute she playing grandmother with his 1 year old and the next she has nothing more to do with him. Now she claims she is not proud of this youngest son because he does not work. For some reason she does not see raising two disabled children as a full time commitment. Their mother does not work but she is also disabled, and on top of that there is a one-year-old to look after. In my opinion this man has the hardest job of all of them. My FI is a good, honest and hard working man, he has taken on my son without hesitation and does a wonderful job of it too. I cannot bring myself to understand a woman who has (and I’ve heard this with my own ears) said ‘he’s dead to me’ about one of her sons. Currently my FI is the only son who speaks to her. The youngest is living about 6 houses away and will not tell her (he’s living with his mother in law whilst his house is having some repair work), the 3rd son lives on the next street but is not welcome and the eldest the poor man has had to live with being kicked out his family for years. My FI was cut for about 2 years because he sided with an ex.

We are recently speaking again after her little spat at me where for once I could no longer bite my tongue about our wedding ideas. She is yet to crack a smile at any of ideas. I don’t really care, I’ll do them anyway. The thing that really gets my back up is that she attended two of her other son’s weddings (not the eldest of course) and played the role of the dotting mother pride of place at the top table, and then once the hype of the wedding faded, she resumed her usual ways.

I know this behaviour will be repeated at our wedding, if we don’t get stricken off the family tree before hand, FI loves her and is not oblivious to her ways, but loves her none the less, I stick by him and bite my tongue as much as I can… but I can’t do that forever.

On of the worst things she’s done in my eyes (to me) is upset my son, she has this family book, every one born or married into the family gets put in there. She was showing this book to my son (aged 4 at the time) and he asked where his name was. He reply was ‘your not blood, your mummy will have to marry _______ first’ now why couldn’t she just say ‘we’ll put you in pencil until the big day; or something like that anything ….he sobbed his little heart out. Grrr, oh and mine and FI baby cannot go in her because I MC before the national gestation age to legally see our baby as having lived, in other words no death certificate is issued if the baby is lost before 22 weeks… so F’ing what imo just put the word ‘angel sleeping’ in the stupid book for your sons sake.

I need to stop before I crack up πŸ™ sorry I got carried away but the woman is horrid

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