- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Sorry this is so long but…ahh. So my parents are divorced. It isn’t totally bitter but they still don’t talk (they used to via me and my sibling but we put a stop to that). I know they’re perfectly capable of getting along at the wedding and that part will be fine, but I am hung up on how to get down the aisle.
[It’s a tiny church, so, tiny aisle. It’s narrow and probably 10 steps long max. Ideal for me would be no walk at all, to just show up on stage left. Pretty casual all around]
So given the church info above, the fact that my dad remarried and hasn’t been around for much of the planning, I didn’t necessarily have a super desire to have him walk me. But I couldn’t think of a way to do it (i.e. by myself or with mom, who has helped a ton with planning) that wouldn’t be a huge Statement or cause hurt feelings, and besides he’s been a great dad anyway, so I just opted to go with tradition.
All was well until Mom found out. She is really offended that, in her words, he “gets to waltz in and take all the credit” for the wedding by walking me down. She wants to join in too. I asked her was she SURE she and he could do it together without causing drama and she said that she would, but dad “Would just be passive aggressive about it because that’s how he is.” Based on that I’m pretty sure she will still find a way to make drama, but I agreed.
Now I’m starting to regret saying OK to this. I’m not a fan of the fact that a) my mom hasn’t told my dad about this and expects me to do it, and I REALLY resent the years of being their go-between, b) she wants this new arrangement just so my dad doesn’t “get all the credit,” not for a yay-family-unity moment, c) see “tiny aisle” above, and d) in a lot of ways (that would just make this post even more ridiculously long) she’s trying to make the wedding All About Her. And this seems like an extension of that the more I think about it….
Also, and this is a real dumb reason, how am I going to carry my flowers??
Help bees! I just want to scrap it and go with a little-known Catholic tradition whereby me and Fiance walk down together, and honor my parents in different ways during the ceremony. Just gotta think of a way that won’t make them both totally freak…if that’s even possible…what do you think?