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So, I am not getting married - in fact, I am not even close to being engaged but I am at that age where going to a wedding every other week is just a matter of course. The wedding season for me kicks off this May with my Boyfriend's friend's/coworker's wedding. (This may be an important fact - the newlyweds are 24 and 25). I have 2 questions in regard to this:
1. My boyfriend and I live together and we got 1 invitation that listed both of our names on it. As far as wedding gifts go, can we give one gift from "us" or do we each have to get separate gifts?
2. My boyfriend is not very happy with the registry that his friend's fiance put together("I am NOT getting Brian* a blender!") In fact, he wants to get a present that he knows the groom will enjoy (since ALL of the registry was created by the future Mrs. without any input from Brian*). His idea was to get Brian a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label. For those of you who don't know what that is - it's a $200 bottle of Scotch. To be honest, I'm torn. On the one hand, Brian is our friend and I KNOW he'll like the gift - his fiance will be getting more than enough of what she wants. On the other hand, a HUGE part of me thinks that alcohol is an inapropriate wedding gift. I don't know what to do. A little help please?
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I don't know, people give wine/champagne as a wedding gift, so why not this type of alcohol? And it sounds like a really, really nice bottle of scotch, not like a six-pack of beer or really cheap vodka. I think it's appropriate and nice to think of something the groom would enjoy.
My FI loves scotch, and would be super-duper delighted if someone bought him it for a wedding gift. I say, why not?!
my FI would love it. In fact if he saw this post he would probably invite you to our wedding…. I think it is a great and generous gift. I would totally be ok with some of the gifts we got being things he would enjoy more, he certainly isn’t going to use a double boiler!
My feeling on it is this, for an engagement party, champagne or a nice bottle of wine seems appropriate, but for the wedding, I think you should stick to the registry or give cash. In this case particularly, the couple is fairly young and probably need stuff for their home, so stick to the registry. Also, your boyfriend needs to realize that the issue is not whether HE likes what is on the registry, the couple picked out stuff THEY want or need and I think its best to go by their wishes. That way you know you are getting them something they want. Also, tell your boyfriend that they can use the blender to mix up margaritas! Maybe buy them the blender and some tequila and margarita mix so make it more unique.
What about getting a bit of a cheaper bottle of scotch -- and getting them very nice glass ware for their future bar ... http://www.crateandbarrel.com/bar-glasses/tabletop/1 ... he can still give a gift that the Groom will like, while not totally offending/forgetting about the bride.
Booze=good present
Especially the good stuff.
And yes, one present is enough.
I think that's a great idea! And RIbride, not everything on the registry has to be a couple's gift!
One of our go-to (budget friendly) presents is a bottle of champagne and a pair or champagne flutes in a pretty basket. I think that as long as you know for sure that the couple drinks, you're safe.
I also really like the idea of adding complementary glasses or going the blender/tequila route if they're margarita drinkers.
Although it is a nice gift-very nice gift-I'm not sure it would be appropriate unless BOTH the bride and groom would appreciate it. I know with young couples, they don't always register for the most exciting (such as the *blender*) but it is something they need and the nice thing is they will always think of it as a wedding gift. I would just suggest to make sure both are happy about a bottle of alcohol..in my personal opinion..I would not like a $200 bottle of any alcohol for our wedding because there are so many other things we need for our new life together other than alcohol.
I guess I'm lucky because my fiance went with me to register at both of our store choices and was very active and openly gave his opinions on what he wanted and thought we needed to start our new life together. He even did research on blenders and all that for the quality, ha! I know many people see the registries as "the bride's gifts" but in reality the gifts will be used by both for many years to come. =)
Q1: 1 gift...You're an established couple, that's how they know you and that's how you're going to the wedding.
Q2: Blue Label by itself with a nice note about how you hope they'l savor this slowly over their years together, yada-yada is sounds great! If you want to add something like glasses to go with it, that's just icing.
I know people will tell you it's wrong, but if you know the couple well and you know that the off-registry gift is something they will enjoy (especially if it can be enjoyed together), then 100% do it. There are also thing you're "not allowed" to register for...I would put nice alcohol in that category...but that doesn't mean you wouldn't love to receive that kind of item!
Hmmm, it looks like you're definitely getting answers from both sides of the aisle. A novel thought/addition: If they're co-workers, maybe your boyfriend could drop a bug in the groom-to-be's ear, just a little "I was thinking of doing something like this...Do you think that's something you might enjoy?"
I say one present is absolutely enough.
And I second the idea to get some barware to go along with it if you're worried about it being all about the groom. I'm glad that has been suggested. But if aren't concerned about that, the fine scotch is enough. Registries are suggestions, not shopping lists, especially if you have a personal gift in mind!
One present is definitely plenty.
And I agree with Humarock Bride. Get Johnny Walker Red or Black instead of blue and give it with some nice rocks glasses from their registry so the bride and groom both get something they will enjoy!
Liquor is always a good gift! 
my FI would love that bottle of scotch, and given that he didn't contribute to the registry at all (his own fault) I wouldn't be mad AT ALL if he got a gift for himself like that, especially something he would really love.
One gift is definitely enough.
I know my FI would love the BLUE gift, even though it is not a practical gift and would rather have the cash, so I think it is a great idea.
Definitely only one gift needed.
Does your boyfriend know for sure that the groom drinks scotch in particular? My fiance is very much into scotch, but it's somewhat of an acquired taste, I feel like.... if the groom drinks scotch, then that'd be a GREAT gift in my opinion.
My groom helped with the registry and I'd still be happy for him that he got something he really liked.
I like the slightly cheaper liquor combined with nice glasses from the registry as a gift idea. Best of both worlds!
I gave a friend a check for 100.00 and a bottle of glenfiditch or levit, one of those glens, that was like 50.00. The groom was SO excited about the scotch that I think they forgot to open my card as the check was cashed months later!
You can definitely give just one gift.
I probably would not give liquor as a wedding gift b/c I think it's meant more for engagement gifts.
IMO you should stick with a registry item or give cash (unless you know the couple really well and know they would really want the non-registry item).
I say get him the Blue! My husband would be over the moon with a gift that was for him when we got married. Because no matter what anybody says, that mixer that they have on their registry is not for "them". :) We gave some of my BILs friends a case of wine for a wedding present. We worked very hard to get bottles that went along with the months of the year, etc. We put two bottles of champagne in there, one in Feb and one for their 1 year anniversary. It was a great present and we'll do it again.
One gift.
I think that is a fine idea! I saw alcohol is a great gift for a couple who you know will appreciate. It is only appropriate if it is a special or unique brand -- hard to find or not your "every day" liquor. Blue Label would be wonderful -- it's not like he goes out to buy himself a bottle of it every week. He can save it for a special occasion!
Thank you all so much for you input! Brian really does love Scotch and BF and I know that he'll love the gift. I will probably end up getting them some barware as well to appease the bride (if it's on the registry - which i doubt).
If we could register for Blue Label, we would. Both my fiance and I would be thrilled with this gift! I like the idea above of getting some glassware to go with it if you think the bride won't appreciate the liquor.
You only need one gift. I'd say it is an awesome gift. My FI loves Scotch on the rare occassion he gets his hands on some Blue Label he savors it. I even actually like it and I don't like Scotch. My FI would probably declare this his favorite gift
I think it's great that you're considering your buddy. You're right, most of the things on the list are per the bride's request!
I say get him the bottle of scotch. He'll be psyched to NOT open up some dishware. And that's a nice bottle of scotch, so don't feel the need to include anything else from the two of you. I think it's really considerate you want to get them something you know the groom will love!
Glenlivet lets you personalize labels for free: http://www.yourgiftlabel.com/
You could get an inexpensive personalized scotch bottle that the bride and groom will both like, and still have money left over for a gift off the registry.
Mr. Bee got cigars as a wedding gift. If it were me, I'd have no problem if he received a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue instead of something off the registry. But that's just me - your FI prolly knows the couple best. Good luck! 
One gift from the both of you is fine - and I think a nice bottle of scotch is a great idea!
Perhaps you could pair it with inexpensive rocks glasses or something? Not necessary, but just a thought!
1. I think it's perfectly acceptable to give one gift from the both of you.
2. Your boyfriend's idea of a gift is great...for the soon-to-be groom, but not his FW. The gift should be something for both of them. Personally, unless you know both of them enjoy that brand of alcohol, or alcohol at all, then I agree it's not an appropriate wedding gift.If your boyfriend wants to get him that, fine, but get a gift the both of them can enjoy, that way the FW isn't left out of the picture. The gift shouldn't be designed for one or the other, but for both. That *is* the purpose of a wedding. Or, if you can't agree, don't get a gift and let the gift be your attendance, which is likely to be far greater a gift.
First of all, one gift is definitely enough, as you are a couple and will be attending together. Second of all, I am in the camp that any gift is a kind guesture and that guests are not required to bring a gift (don't attack me, I'd never go to a wedding without bringing one!). Therefore, I think that a gift, even one that might not be loved by both the bride and groom, is fine. In my experience, I've already gotten gifts for me personally in anticipation of the wedding, including PJs and a Coach purse. I'd be happy for FH if he got a few things for him personally, too. I think most registries are scewed towards the bride's tastes and interests. Mine definitely is! I don't see the harm in letting the groom have his share of the fun.
i agree with everyone else--go for the booze :) i think it would be weird if it was not from a close friend, but it sounds like they have the relationship where it would be a more personal gift. (and a gift that just keeps on giving, i might add! :) )
i'd definitely give the gift together--i'm sure they were just trying to be as etiquette-friendly when doing invitations and would expect a joined gift!
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I love the idea of building a good collection of alcohol for home entertaining. We are champagne and wine people, so if I received a good bottle of either, I would know it was good and I would be very appreciative. So if you think this couple, even if it's only groom, will know and appreciate this expensive bottle of scotch, I say GO FOR IT!
My only comments are:
1. If you don't stick to the registry, get a gift you know they'll enjoy. Sounds like that's the plan.
2. If you bring it to the wedding, make sure it's wrapped up tight in a nice box so no one can tell that it's a big ol' bottle of booze. The groom (and bride) may love it, but if Great Auntie Esther sees it on the gift table, who knows what'll happen! Ha!
3. On the other hand, freaking out Great Auntie Esther might be a good thing...?
I think the gift idea of JW Blue is fantastic!!! I think so much of weddings and gifts are focused on the bride (yeah, I know as a couple "we" register for towels, but my FI couldn't care less about them), that a gift more for the groom is a great idea. Plus, after a nice glass of scotch, the future groom may be more apt to sit for the "gift parade."
Yeah, you could get a less expensive bottle with some glasses, but most people would go out and buy those for themselves. A more expensive/good liquor (or wine or whatever) people tend not to buy for themselves because it's a little extravagant, so it's a great gift option.
Sorry if my writing is a bit jumbled, I just love this idea!
I think it is a perfectly acceptable gift. I drink scotch, and would love to have that as a nice house warmer.
BTW, though, this seems like a little teachable moment for FI. While I think the Blue Label is fine, I would ask him if he ever thinks his friends is going to eat any food from that blender. If this guy's FI is getting cooking items, how did the friend become the unwilling victim of all that food being made in the house?
I was just reading Miss Manners, and even she suggests that a case of champagne is a nice wedding gift. And you are certainly not required to buy something off a registry -- what to buy for a gift is 100% up to the giver. And the only appropriate reply when receiving a gift is "Thank you. How thoughtful!"
A great bottle of scotch is always a wonderful way to say congrats! (unless it's a baby shower, or something).
I say give cautiously. Before I was older and wiser, I used to give really nice bottles of wine all the time and get them signed by the wine maker (I was in the wine biz) and one time I didn't even get a thank you note and I know it was becaused the bride was pissed. Is there a smaller sized bottle that's less expensive you could give, along with another more traditional gift?
Go for it. I got a friend a case of his favorite beer. Maybe not the most classy wedding gift, but he really loved the thought that went in to it. (It's a beer that wasn't available in his city though so it isn't as though I just went and bought a case of MGD .)
I'm chiming in late here b/c I missed this thread earlier. My feeling is that I get a little offended when people make comments like "all the registry was for the bride" (and I did long before we got engaged). Yes, it might be hard to imagine that your college buddy wants a blender, and maybe he doesn't right now, but the point of wedding gifts, imho, is to help a couple establish themselves. If the groom really hated the idea of a blender, he should have said so and then he should probably refuse to ever eat or drink anything created with that blender. Okay, maybe the bride cares more about kitchen stuff than the groom, but presumably the meals created with the kitchen stuff will be consumed by both people, so it's not really a gift to the bride. And regardless, I also don't think it's fair to pass judgment on the registry and who chose it. My FI was pretty picky about a lot of items on it, so for example, the china pattern we've picked out was his choice though I'm sure no one would suspect that. And BTW, he's super excited about a high powered blender for making drinks.
That said, I don't think that alcohol is a no-no per se. We got friends of my FI's a very nice bottle of wine and a nice decanter (which they promptly returned and told us they did so...). But we knew that they *both* would like the wine. If you're talking about buying a bottle of scotch for the *groom* and then appeasing the bride with some glasses, that really doesn't seem like a wedding gift to me. I think it's a nice gesture and if your FI wants to give him the bottle before or after the wedding go for it. But, as someone who hates scotch at any price (incl. JW Blue), it would really bother me if someone addressed a gift to me and my FI knowing that I probably wouldn't like it.
My parents did this years ago for a couple where they were much closer to the groom (and the groom and my dad were Scotch-drinking buddies!). They gave them a nice bottle (I forget what) and some really nice scotch glasses. The bride didnt' really care (I think she thought it was funny, iirc), but the groom LOVED it, and noted that, of all the gifts they got off the registry, most were really "for" his wife (kitchen stuff, dishes, etc) and this one was "for" him in a particular way. I say, go for it!
Etiquette dictates that attendance at a wedding does not mandate a gift, so I think ANY gift you give would be appreciated (as long as it's not like... some random re-gift you inherited from Grandma). You only need one gift from the two of you. Unless the bride totally abstains from drinking, I don't think this is offensive or inappropriate at all.
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