Post # 1
Our venue rang to book us in to start sorting everything out with them. Menu and other bits and pieces. Our price per head includes unlimited drinks. It’s nothing amazing, just your basic beer and wine (soft drink/OJ as well). They’ll chuck long necks of beer on the table and you can go nuts. Suits our wedding just fine.
They told us when we first booked that if we wanted too, we could BYO spirits and cider. So we were thinking about cider but decided against it. We don’t drink spirits either so I thought that would be easy no. Turns out one of my fellas friends only drinks spirits. One person out of the invited 50. So he said I’ll buy a bottle of bourbon (I think) for him for the night. He doesn’t see any problem with catering to only one guest “It won’t be fair if everybody else is drinking and he isn’t”
We got into an argument. Nothing huge but it was while we were walking through the city and I knew people could hear us. Ugh, we were that couple.
My argument is, if we aren’t going to cater for spirits/cider etc for everyone at the reception then we aren’t going to do it. I don’t want to spend an extra $30/60 on one guest just because he doesn’t like beer or wine. I have friends coming who drink cider and don’t really like anything else. Our reception isn’t there for you to get drunk. It’s already expensive per head and I know that extra isn’t a lot but I think it’s ridiculous.
We’ve had this talk a lot and he won’t budge. Even his parents have tried telling him you can’t cater spirits to one person. Do it for everyone or no one.
Bees! Am I being ridiculous? Because I feel like I am. We are what, 6 weeks out and this is the first argument and its over booze? Ugh. I just needed to rant and rave.
Post # 3
I had paragraphs before, I swear! 🙁
Post # 4
It sounds like a nice idea to get a bottle of bourbon in for his friend, but logistically, it’s just going to be an absolute pain in the butt! What will the bar-tender do if someone else comes up to the bar and asks for a glass of bourbon? Do they refuse to serve it to anyone that isn’t your fiance’s friend? How will they know who they’re “allowed” to serve it to?
Post # 5
@Milo: There’s some glitch where the OP can’t see paragraphs, but everyone else can.
Post # 6
@LadyElva: Excatly. I wasn’t totally against it at the beginning but then I was thinking about how it would work! He seems to think if we tell the reception staff they’ll know. So what stamp his hand with a star or something? Haha.
Post # 7
If he asks, just let the guest know that beer and wine will be availabe. If he pushes it and grumbles, tell him he can always BYO if it is that big of deal for him to go without bourbon for one night. But make sure he knows he can only bring the hip flask sized bottle and not the 750ml big sucker and to keep it to himself.
Post # 8
Explain the inherent awkward situations for all of your guests who find out their special likes aren’t being catered to to your fiance. If he wants to buy his buddy a bottle, fine, but maybe have him give it to him as a present privately for them to enjoy at a different time. You’re not crazy though. It’s not a dietary or allergic requirement. Alcohol is an OPTION and if there is nothing this guy likes tough noogies. Hope he likes water and pop. You are not required to cater to each and every person’s likes and dislikes. For instance I don’t drink beer or wine, but if that was all that was available I would either suck it up and have a glass of white for toasting or whatever, or just drink water or juice. Tell you FI, with his family present as your back up, and make it explicitly clear why this is going to end poorly. Hopefully he’ll come around! Best of luck!
Post # 9
@Milo: Tell your friend “tough”. I agree with you, why should you make special arrangements for this one person?
Post # 10
I wouldn’t make special arrangements. If it is that important to your fiancé,just tell the guy “hey this is what our bar includes and if you don’t like it, bring a flask.” That way this guy can be happy and you don’t have to worry about the bartender giving preferential treatment to him and not other guests. I’m assuming that the guy bringing his own wouldn’t be a problem if the venue allows BYOB.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Yeah, I think it’d be unfair to the other guests. If you made a special arrangement for him what happens when 5 other people reveal that they hate wine and beer as well?
He’s an adult, he can live without alcohol for one night, it’s not like he’s deathly allergic to what you are offering.
Good luck! x
Post # 12
How about you make a separate “drink request” card for each guest, and they can each choose their favorite type of drink, and you can get a separate bottle of whatever for every single guest!!
…obviously out of the question. Your fiance is being silly.
Post # 13
I think this should be an all or nothing type situation. Either you provide your guests with spirits or you don’t. If the friend wants, he can always bring his own personal flask.
Post # 14
Maybe your FI can give his friend the heads up that only beer and wine will be served so the pal can plan ahead and bring a flask 🙂
Post # 15
Tell him to bring a flask!
Post # 16
I’d be super duper pissed off and resentful if I were at a wedding where ONE guest got to have their chosen drink and I had to simply drink the offered beer and wine.
I’m a “go with the flow” type person, but when I’m somewhere that certain people get treated special or get preferred treatment and I do not, then I get pissed off and I would certainly hold it against the Bride and Groom for being shitty hosts.
I think you should let your groom know that. Your guests may not TELL you that, but some people are going to be resentful over this if you let this go on— simply have your groom tell his friend the situation and make the “bring a flask” suggestion.