- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Hi ladies! I need your opinions. We’re planning our rehearsal dinner. FI and I decided to only include immediate family and wedding party which brings the guest list to 30 people. We found a great deal with one of our favorite restaurants that we’re very excited about.
FI’s parents wanted to pay for the rehearsal dinner and of course we accepted. His parents are divorced and they’ve each told us what they’d be willing to spend so we now have a budget. It seems like anything left over they would like to be put towards other wedding expenses!
It looks like dinner with run us about $800 including tax/gratuity/etc. We have $1500 total available. This price includesnon-alcoholic beverages. Since we’re doing well on our budget it looks like we can easily include alcohol. The restaurant is really helpful and they print “custom” menus for our dinner so we can include beer and wine, full bar or even ordering a few pitchers of beer and sangria for the table.
We plan on having a full open bar at the reception too. Our venue lets us purchase our own alcohol and our caterer provides a bar tender. We thought it was important to also provide an option for adult beverages at the rehearsal dinner too!
But, today FI and I got an email from his mom about the dinner. She said everything looks great but she said she doesn’t agree with paying for everyone’s alcohol at the rehearsal dinner. She thinks if they want an adult beverage they can pay for it. She acknowledged that we felt differently and it was up to us to decide!
This just seems weird to me. I don’t really understand why she’s against this. She drinks, as does everyone in our families and social groups, so its not that she’s against alcohol. From what I gather, she thinks its weird that we’re having an open bar. She told FI that every wedding she’s been too they’ve had a cash bar!
Now every wedding I’ve been to has had either a full open bar or wine/beer. She can’t believe we’re paying for alcohol at all! But, in my book its rude to not host an open bar. We’re not strapped for cash, we’re staying well within budget on our rehearsal and reception so I don’t understand why we would make our guests pay for it!
I’m starting to worry that our wedding is very extravagent compared to what FI’s mom is used too. In my view, we’re spending a good deal of money but I’m not wasting it. I’m DIYing and cutting out frivolous extras because I don’t like carelessly spending. But, I am willing to spend on food and drinks because in my opinion that is crucial in having a good party!
After reading the bee for the last year I’ve come to understand that people have very different expectations of weddings but I’m wondering what most bees think is “normal”. In my social circle I’m having a low key, cheaper wedding than many of my friends. But, I get the distinct impression that its lavish to his family! Would you expect drinks at a bridal party/family only rehearsal dinner?