Post # 1
Let me start by saying that my fiancee and I are both sober and have been for almost a year. Many members of our family are not into drinking and a few friends who are coming are also in AA. As we were choosing our reception site and caterer, we decided on no bar. Zero. Not a drop of booze….lol. Obviously, I’m not broken up about this. It saved us a TON of cash! We are on a very tight budget and this allowed us to get things like….oh…let’s just say food, dress, etc. I should also say that our reception is 1:30-5:30pm. So it’s early enough that the party animals can party later on. Much of my fam is staying at the same hotel so this will undoubetly occur.
The problem? A chunk of my family seem to have a drinking problem. This has lead to comments like “We’ll just tailgate before the wedding” or “Since you’re not having drinks, you should have much more food since that’s ALL people will remember”. I was even told that I need more cupcakes and sweets since people will really focus on those without alcohol to drink.
Really? Seriously? I think we can all function without booze for four hours. Is it really a big deal? Help me out here…..
Post # 3
What sort of help are you looking for?
If you will really need more food or desserts? Or a response to your family members?
Post # 4
first of all, kudos to you for being sober for one year! and also kudos for deciding on a booze free reception! i dont think there is anything wrong with what you are doing and all you can really do is ignore the comments, or don’t even tell people what you will or won;t have at the reception. they can find out when they get there and choose to have a good time or not!
Post # 5
To be honest i would be PISSED I would make a comment like “So the only way you can get threw my wedding is if you are drunk?” and “Shouldnt you remeber the couple the ceremony ect…. Not how plastered you could have gotten” But my family is VERY outspoken….
But no I do not think there is anything wrong with a dry wedding…
Post # 6
Congrats on your sobriety, though!
What if you offer to organize an after party? Like a no-host party at a bar or local restaurant. Then people will feel like they have the option to party and socialize, and you won’t have to pay for it.
In your invitations or on your website you can say “Though the bride and groom will already be off honeymooning, continue the celebration with friends and family at ____ restaurant from 6 till whenever. No host”
Post # 7
We’re not having alcohol either. FH’s family religion is against it and FFIL was an alcoholic. There are some in FH’s family who would also get completely wasted and probably cause a big scene. I am a social drinker, but out of respect for FH’s family, we’re not having alochol. Lots of people know this and so far no one has said anything. There’s been some jokes about sneaking in a keg, but I know it’s not serious.
I’ve been to tons of dry weddings and no one really cared that there wasn’t any alcohol. People still had a good time and the guests remembered how lovely the wedding was, how good the food was, not the fact that there was no alcohol.
It’s your wedding. If you and FH don’t want alcohol, then your guests will just have to understand. Like you said, they’re free to go out and do whatever they like AFTER the reception. If they can’t deal without alcohol for 4 hours, then there’s a problem.
Post # 8
They will have to do the country church method. Wait until it over to have that drink.
your wedding. They will have just support your decesion.
Post # 9
We are having alcohol at our wedding, but my sister and her husband chose not to have alcohol at theirs and it was still a beautiful reception. A few people complained about it, but most people were really cool about it. Ignore the haters and be confident in your decision to not have alcohol. I understand that some people like to have a few drinks at events like this, but under the circumstances, I think it would be odd to have it!
As for pumping up on the food and sweets, I think that’s totally unnecessary.
Post # 10
First of all, Congrats to you and your FH on your sobriety. I think that it is awesome and noone should be trying to make you feel anything but joy and pride for your accomplishments. As far as the haters and their comments, ignore them. It is going to be your’s and FH’s day to celebrate your union and love, and “friends and family” should respect the decision to have a dry event. I agree with PPs that it is ridiculous that people can’t be happy for you and enjoy the reception without drinking. I do not understand why people go to weddings thinking it is a big party and a great way to drink themselves into a stupor for free. I am having alcohol at my reception, but I am not going to be drinking. FH’s family think I’m weird because I don’t drink. I just tell them I want to remember all the details of my reception, and not end up embarassing myself. (They don’t get the Passive-Agressive remark.)
IMO you should’t change a thing. Again, Congratulations!!!!!!
Post # 11
Congratulations!! You are doing the absolute right thing for you, and anyone who gives you shit about it can blow it out their ass. You can tell them I said so.
Post # 12
Ugh some people are idiots…obviously for you, having a dry wedding is the best option (CONGRATS BY THE WAY!!!). If others can’t see past their own selfish desires, then I wouldn’t give a crap if they came to my wedding or not. That’s just me though. You should carry some AA cards around with you and anytime someone makes a remark about NEEDING to drink at your wedding, give them one. As for the food, just do whatever you were planning on going with…there’s no reason to change something like that for people that are going to be unhappy no matter what you do.
Post # 13
There’s nothing for you to do in an attempt to appease them, because those that want to complain will find anything to make an issue of it. I think thats selfish, rude and insensitive of them. Especially if they are aware of your issues with alocholism. How dare they. Stand your ground.
Post # 14
congrats on your sobriety! its not easy so good for you guys 🙂 don’t stress when people make comments about your wedding plans. No matter what, you can’t please everyone and they’ll all get over it. I do suggest you tell your guests that if they need to drink please wait until after the reception because honestly, are you going to want a bunch of buzzed people hanging out at your wedding? don’t stress about comments, sometimes people are just tactless.. i’ve been dealing with my family bitching and moaning about my reception location but you know what, if they don’t like it then RSVP no!!
Post # 15
To all my bees: FI and I are cracking up at these posts! Thanks for the support! I’m so ready to toss some of my family members off a bus and keep the good ones for a better reception celebration! xoxo all!
Post # 16
I think I would have an uproar if my event was alcohol free too. Its so unheard of where I am located. I would rather toss it. Its so high.