Hi ladies –
THANK YOU 🙂
My father is currently a sober alcoholic, but he has been an alcoholic since I was 3, I am now 31. He had a terrible re-lapse back in August, so bad, that my dad’s family, told me they don’t think he would live past December 2011. So I made a mad dash from DUBAI to the UK, to see him, he had no idea I was coming. We spoke, connected for 3 days and I told him of my possible marriage (at the time I was not engaged) and told him, ,I want him Alive to share in my joy and see his future grandkids (my family said my vistit ‘did something’ to him, positively)
He is an incredibly smart, well-travelled, cultured and handsome man, I sometimes think he verges on the genius. He just has this demon and he can’t hold anything down, a relationship, job, etc!
Any way, he has expressed concerns of not being able to afford to come to my wedding, but insists he will try to climb over mountains to get there. I understand, he is currently looking for work and almost lost his home and everything last year. I will pay for his air fare if it comes to it, but I want him to have a goal, so I am not going to come to his rescue right now.
I have had an UP AND DOWN relationship with him, It was worse in my late teens, early 20’s when I harboured a lot of anger and resentment towards him for various things, but as I have grown, I have forgiven him and have learnt more about his disease and how his mind works. I am far more relaxed these days and we have a good relationship, we talk on face book a lot and we both love a good debate.
My mum simply keeps bringing up the past and goes nuts at him sometimes out of the blue and starts slagging him off to me on the phone. I understand she has been hurt by him, but I told her under NO CIRCUMSTANCE will I accept them acting like children at my wedding and that they both need to let go of the past and move towards the future!
Anyhow – I feel, he will be on his best behaviour and so will my mother, as they know I will not tolerate anything but. I will pre-warn the owner of the venue and the bar staff/waiters, and some of my family will keep a distant eye. My parents are both good people and wonderful in many ways, and this is the side I want to see shine on my big day.
I can only hope and pray .
Thanks for sharing all your stories on this, I know it’s hard and HUGS TO you all!!! It’s not an easy on the relatives at all.