Post # 1
I have an uncle who has been in and out of jail and is pretty much homeless and an alcoholic. My mom told him that if he is sober for 3 months before the wedding and doesn’t drink there, he can come. I don’t know if I can trust that though and the last thing I want at my wedding is for him to be a drunken fool/my wedding to get him drinking again because of temptation but at the same time, I do love him and was pretty close to him as a kid (prior to alcoholism), has anyboy been in a similar situation?
Post # 3
My cousin is similar. He kind of invited himself to our wedding (bought a plane ticket before the invitations went out). My mother assured me that if he acted up he would be “taken care of”. And he did drink too much and got sloppy drunk. And some of the other male family members hauled him out- luckily before any of the other guests noticed. I am still mad. Not so much about him getting drunk and having to leave, because as I said no one even knew- but because the other “good” family members had to miss the reception to tend to him and take him home.
I have not spoken to him since the wedding and have no intention of doing so in the future. This was the last straw. On a positive note, apparently, when I was on my honeymoon all the family members gave him hell and told him how embarrassing he was. Since my wedding (Oct. 9th) he has been sober and going to AA. But you know what? Too late to rectify this relationship.
Anyway, I am not saying that you should ban him from your wedding, but you asked for similar circumstances- so I thought I would share mine. I would be cautious if I were you!
Post # 4
Not quite that bad but I have a cousin whose wife kind of went crazy last year. I think she is bipolar or something? Not sure, but she went off her meds, got addicted to gambling, lost about 40k of their money, started smoking a ton of pot, having sex with random internet people, etc etc etc. It’s a long story that gets worse… but I really don’t want to invite her to the wedding. I don’t like her, I don’t respect her, and it seems kind of wrong to let someone who has made such a shit-show of their own marriage come celebrate ours. But family politics won out. Meh.
Post # 5
@kingytobe: I have 2 alcoholic uncles that I too am worried about. One of them has been in and out jail as well. My boyfriend is in AA (10 years sober this week!) and several members of his family are in the program as well. I’ve been thinking of having a coffee bar instead of alcohol, but my Boyfriend or Best Friend thinks thats severe.
Have you ever heard of Al-Anon? It’s like AA but for the friends and family of alcoholics. I’ve been to a meeting and the general idea is that you let go of feeling responsible for other people’s actions. I know I should go more, and I certainly will as it gets closer to the wedding just to deal with some problem drinkers in my family…. Could be worth a shot?