All alone in this wedding planning thing.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
4540 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

I was in the same boat as you a couple of months ago! It finally got to be too much, and we dropped everything and decided to elope (more like a “private wedding” since it’s in 5 months and everyone knows about it, but I digress). Best decision we ever made. 

Post # 5
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Aw I would try to relax this week if no one wants to book before New Year’s. 

I think the key to wedding planning is ignoring it for 75% of the time and then buckling down for 25%. If you’re half thinking about the wedding all the time you’re bound to get burnt out.

If there’s a conflict with the church have you looked at others? 

Post # 6
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@AlwaysSunny: 

 “I think the key to wedding planning is ignoring it for 75% of the time and then buckling down for 25%.”

Soooooo true! 

Post # 7
Member
8907 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@Omgbunnies:  aw, hugs to you!  

Re: the slow-to-commit FI – can you show him one of those timelines from Real Simple or Weddingwire or something?  Like, “We should have chosen a venue 6 months ago [if your profile wedding date is correct] so let’s get on it!”  And it always helped me to show him how I was stressed and worried and that I needed his help, rather than trying to make him care about that very detail that second, you know?  His protection instinct would kick in and he’d want to help alleviate the stress. I don’t think that most guys really understand how these things need to be sorted out months in advance….

Also, that picture is freaky.  I just watched the first Hobbit movie again and it looks a whole lot like the goblin king with the ballsack on his neck.

Post # 9
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sorry you are going through this!

My budget isnt nearly as small as yours.. but I can totally relate with the fi not wanting to commit to anything. We still haven’t booked our reception venue even though we’ve contacted them multiple times! I am in charge of all the research/decorations/food, he was supposed to be in charge of booking the ceremony & reception venue. I think he assumes that since we aren’t having a traditional venue, that he can wait as long as he likes.

I’ll be so angry if it gets booked before then.

Post # 10
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Omgbunnies:  this really sucks but I kinda understand. We are on a relatively tight budget but not as tight as yours. I know around here we have this site where you can put your event up and people can bid on it. I think it is called Gig Bid.

Post # 12
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can COMPLETELY relate! We are now a year in and have NOTHING figured out but want to get married this year. We have had nothing but issues with our mothers trying to run the show and he just figures ” I’m showing up, isn’t that good enough” ( his EXACT words last night when I was freaking out that we have nothing planned or booked). It is frustrating and I am completely overwhelmed! So hugs! I feel you and if you ever need to vent or just want someone to bounce ideas off of don’t hesitate to send me a message.  

Post # 13
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Omgbunnies:  Totally been there! What my FI and I found out was that we saved TONS just by cutting out the “traditional” things, and saving our limited funds for the things that mattered. My FI was also not very enthusiastic about planning, so I made Pinterest my best friend while I planned. There are so many DIY and money saving ideas on Pinterest! I couldn’t have planned without it. 

A few places we saved: 

  • Photography: Don’t hire a photographer! Ask your friends and family to post the wedding photos they take to Instagram or other photo-sharing sites. With modern digital cameras/camera phones, even grandma can take great pictures. Best thing for you- it’s free!! 
  • Dress: I saved a TON on my dress by getting a “white maxi” instead of a “wedding dress.” I did my research via Google and got my dress for $130. It’s white and formal- a wedding dress without the name. I’ve also known brides who got their dresses off eBay and Amazon for much cheaper than fresh off the rack. 
  • Favors: Didn’t give ’em! Not one of our 150 guests asked where the favors were. 
  • Printed Materials: We printed our menu’s ourselves, only one per table, and made it part of the centerpiece. We skipped on the wedding service brochure thing some brides do. So much more affordable to buy ink and cardstock than to have things professionally printed. 
  • Color/Theme: This is a weird one, but we decided to not choose a specific theme/color scheme for the wedding, and I think in the end it saved us because we wern’t so focused on making it work. Instead, I chose things I thought were pretty, and we ended up chosing a nice space that needed minimal decorations. Who remembers that your flowers matched the napkins, anyway? 
  • Flowers: DIY- buy flowers a few days before at Costco or like stores. They replenish their flowers every two days so they’re super fresh and beautiful. There are dozens of tutorials on YouTube and Pinterest on how to arrange your own flower bouquets. We saved so much money doing this- for two bouquets and two dozen centerpieces (including the small vases we ordered in bulk from Oriental Trading Co.) we spent around $200! Again, like the color/theme thing, I saved a lot of money and stress by not worrying about having a specific type of flower. 
  • Reception: We had our wedding at a restaurant. Most restaurants only require a minimum, so you can have as many guests and/or as much food/drink you want within that budget. What is great about a restaurant is you don’t have to supply the tables, chairs, dishes, servers, bar, or pay a cake-cutting fee (which averaged $4 a pop at a hotel). Just remember to budget approximately 18% gratuity. Another idea is to just have dessert! Just be sure to include that in the invite. I’ve also been to a brunch-wedding at a retaurant that already served brunch, so it was just the cost per head. Great deal, because it included bottomless mimosas! 

Phew! I hope this helps. Best of luck to you- remember, even budget brides can have their special day! 

Post # 14
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Omgbunnies:  I’m with you. Supposed to be getting married in April, $2,000 or less for everything from the rings and my dress to dinner and decorations. Guess what I have done. Invitations. Yep, that’s it. I thought I picked my dress, then I waffled, then I changed my mind altogether, now I have no idea. Thought I decided on my w-band. Nope, can’t make up my mind. I’m seriously running out of time and I have no motivation to do anything at all. Blah.

I thought once I got going I would keep going, but it just hasn’t happened. With such a limited budget I don’t have any wiggle room to fuck things up. If I order a dress and it ends up looking ridiculous I won’t have any choice, but to wear it anyway. I’m debating everything like “Do I really need this?” and if I cut too many things out it won’t even feel like a wedding and that will be depressing. So I’m avoiding everything. I hope I get out of my funk soon, cause if I don’t we won’t be getting married in April…

Post # 15
Member
4601 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Omgbunnies:  I’m right there with you. FH tries to help, but he doesn’t understand how stressful things are. I was planning on mailing out my invitations next week to have plenty of time to track down RSVPs for the final head count and he just starting emailing his family and friends about it today. My two bridesmaids aren’t helping either. My MOH was really excited at first and then we just never got together to do anything and now she’s moved and is talking about waiting until the day before the wedding to finish up projects (which isn’t what I wanted to do). My other bridesmaid won’t even get a dress, so I don’t look to her for support either when I need to talk. I’ve got no one, and it sucks. I wanted to just cancel it all and head to the courthouse but FH doesn’t want that and now we’d lose money. 

Post # 16
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I’m with you too! No one is helping me, but my FI, who keeps bugging me to do things faster, but doesn’t actually do anything to help. Grrr. (In his defense, he doesn’t speak the language.)

NO ONE else is helping. I had to basically have a minor meltdown and ask my SIL to go with me to the seamstress b/c our language barrier was making me panic that I’d end up with a dress I hated. 

My cousin, event planner and Day-of coordinator in theory, has been incommunicado for the past 4 months due to a broken heart and depression. 🙁

Oh well. I go through my feeling sorry for myself waves, then suck it up and make a decision every so often. I’m getting there. Slowly.

Chin up! The bees will help!

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