- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I’m using a fake account to post this because I don’t want anyone I know to figure this out,
Okay, Let me start off by saying I have been very happily married for two years and I have a wonderful job and great friends and one REALLY FANTASTIC friend. But now there’s suddenly a huge mess and I have no idea what to do.
So, my REALLY FANTASTIC friend (we’ll call her X) is the sweetest person I know, she is absolutely wonderful. I love her to death. I met her three years ago at my dance class and got her a job in my office and we’ve been best friends since. She would never do anything to hurt me, EVER. She, however, is a very very bad liar. She’s one of those people who just can’t hide the truth (not for very long, anyway).
Well, she told me a few days ago that she’s in love. I know the guy she’s in love with and he’s great. Very handsome, sweet, hard worker, and just a great guy. I WOULD be very happy for her, except….. he’s MY husband.
For five days (into day four now) my husband is visiting is sister (out of state) because she just had a baby. I can’t go because of work. Well, I don’t like staying at the house alone (we live in a very nice neighborhood, but you never know). So I asked X to come over and stay the night with me friday. Well, we were in the kitchen chatting and popping popcorn and having a great time. When suddenly she tells me that she’s sick. I ask her what she means (i’m scared she has cancer or something) and she says that she’s sick of pretending and she has something to tell me. She’s in love.
I was estatic! I was jumping up and down and asking who she’s in love with. She says “Your going to hate me.” she’s crying at this point. I ask what she means and she says “I’m in love with ____.”
I didn’t get mad at her. I just said “your joking.” then I laughed, which I felt bad about later. Then I realized she was serious. She explained to me that she always thought he was cute and had a crush on him, and tried really hard not to be jealous when we started dating but she very depressed when we got married. She was happy for me, but at the same time she had a lot of feelings for (we’ll call my hubby Y for now) Y. She said Y was never flirty with her or anything, but she really liked him anyway. Since we’ve been married, every time she see’s him she feels heartbroken (which explains why she rarely comes over when he’s home). She said she doesn’t know what to do, and she couldn’t stand lying to me anymore. She said if I wanted to never talk to her again she would understand. I told her I’d always be her friend and I would help her get over him. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?!??!? I’m so confused. I love her so much and she feels so awful, but I don’t know what to do. Would counseling help her get over this? She’s tried distancing herself from him but it doesn’t help. She keeps comparing every guy she meets with him. I suggested finding her a bf but she doesn’t want me to.
Have you ever heard of someone dealing with this kind of thing? How should I handle this? I’m so sick over this I feel like throwing up. I don’t want to lose her as friend, I want things to be back the way they were.
*oh and a little footnote, my husband thinks she’s sort of funny but has NO feelings for her I know. He barely acknowledges her. Which I’ve gotten mad over before because I want him to hang around my friends more but now I’m kinda glad.