Post # 1
Hi bees! So, was talking with a coworker of mine last week. My FI and I recently registered for a few things; a close family friend’s throwing us a small shower, so we didn’t register for much.
I told her this, and she was stunned: she told me you’re supposed to invite all female wedding guests to the shower…! (She ended up having 120+ at her shower.)
Is this true? I always thought showers were smaller, more intimate, closer family friends, etc.
Post # 3
I think hers was an oddity. Maybe cultural thing? I’ve only been to smaller ones.
Post # 4
No that’s not true. The only people you MUST invite are the wedding party gals, mom and FMIL. Most others are people whom are closest to you. You don’t have to invite every lady you know.
Are you only have one bridal shower?? If you have two you can split up the list. That’s what I’m doing.
I’ve could be wrong but I’ve never really heard of inviting ALL Ladies you knew.
Post # 5
Just invite who you want to be there 🙂 I would think anymore then 20 people would be a bit too much! But really, it is up to you, it is after all a day to celebrate you, so if you told her you would prefer it to be a more intimate affair I am sure she would understand..
Post # 5
As far as I know, every female should be invited.
Post # 6
I only had family, bridesmaids and some friends. Showers are definitely smaller!
Post # 7
I’ve been to 2 bridal showers – certainly not *all* female guests were invited, but they each still had 60+ people.
Post # 8
I have heard the same thing, but I’ve only attended small showers. So, I will probably have a large shower compared to the others I’ve been to, since we’ll be inviting all of my female relatives, plus friends, and that ends up being around 50+, but hopefully we can cut it down some. I love a smaller, intimate shower.
Post # 9
Smaller showers are definitely appropriate. It’s acceptable to have more than one shower given in your honor. For example, your college friends could have a small girlfriends gathering, your maid of honor could host an event that includes your family, aunts, cousins, and the friends you grew up with…, and a close friend of his family could host a shower that includes his family and closest friends. I have hosted multiple showers for dear friends on both sides of the aisle. In my experience, a shower that includes about 25 close friends who can sit comfortably in a large livingroom is a really nice size event. I’ve hosted showers that are smaller… for very specific gatherings of friends (college girlfriends of my cousin) and some that have been a little large based on the size space that the event was held. I think that when you get into the mega sized shower the intimacy of the event is lost and the bride loses out on getting to visit with these special groups of friends. It shouldn’t feel like you are just opening gifts for hours. (It should feel like it’s a gathering of people who love you and are enjoying a prewedding celebration with you.) Everyone is different, but it is likely that you might already have distinctive friend groups on your invitation list. So your work buddies might give you a party, your cousins may host an event, his cousins might throw you a shower, and you might have a family friend who knows everyone in your family and lifelong friend list who might host an event that fits the random group of guests who are just always there for you. Not every guest will be invited mostly close friends… (your cousin who lives ten states away might not be invited, but your BFF who lives five states away but has family intown will likely be invited!) (I’m not sure if that makes sense, because I can fathom specific friends or family who live at a distance being invited to a celebration… but of the people I’m imagining…they would be likely to be able to plan to be intown for that event, whereas, the others would be making the very rare and unusual trip for a wedding.
Post # 10
I think it depends on who is throwing it and your family…in my family our bridal parties have been primarily family only so our showers have been large b/c we have a large family! I invited a lot of friends to my wedding and have a lot of friends in my bridal party. All these friends invited to the wedding wanted to be invited to my shower (as well as fam) so the list is 60+ people. Yep, that’s a big party…I know they won’t all come but that’s ok. And that wasn’t every female invited to the wedding, just the ones who I thought would be offended if they weren’t invited. I think it depends on your culture and where you’re from… You have to do whatever you want though. Don’t let your friends psych you out about how you want to do your own shower!!
Post # 11
Nice – thanks for the advice, ladies! I’m not 100% sold on even having a shower, but it means a lot to my mom. I think we’ll keep it on the smaller side, just to be comfortable 🙂
Post # 12
I’m having two showers (in FI’s hometown and my hometown), but even then we didn’t invite every woman who lived in the area. I invited my closest friends in each location, and I assume most of the relatives/parents’ friends were invited, but I didn’t ask everyone. For instance, FI’s friends’ girlfriends who I’m not that close to. I really hope there aren’t more than 20 people at the girls only one, or 40 at the couples one. I’ll just feel awkward.