All I seem to do is to attend ******* funerals and emergencies…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ugh! I am so sorry to hear all this bad news. I had a fair share of bad news for a while there ~ my mom had a similar thing go on – found out she had cancer after not feeling well and she passed away 10 days later; my grandfather died 6 months after her of pancreatic cancer and then my best friend died two months before her wedding- she was 32 and had heart disease that no one knew about. She passed away while taking a nap and her fiance found her (on his birthday, nonetheless… could this story be worse????)

 

So- I FEEL YOU. Sometimes you feel like things are never going to get better and shitty things are just going to keep happening. Sometimes I feel like I’m just sitting around waiting for something else terrible to happen. The fact is – enjoy your family & friends and appreciate them! 

And now go have 6 martinis. 

Post # 4
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can’t say that I know exactly how you feel but I felt very similar to how you feel now about 1 month ago. 2 weeks before my wedding in May, grandpa 1 passed away. Grandpa 2 had stage 4 cancer and passed away exactly 3 months after grandpa 1. Then a couple of weeks after that my moms cousin whom we were close to and was very close to grandpa 1 had a stroke and passed away. After all of this, I felt broken. I already have panic disorder as is and everything that happened just made me snap. 

I started to get depressed and hopeless. But luckily I have my husband who held me and kissed me and reassured me. I also saw and still so see a cognitive behavioral therapist. Maybe that would help you too?

Post # 5
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well that’s a pretty traumatic year for all involved.

I would pick up yoga… Or kickboxing…

Post # 6
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Rachel631:  If it makes you feel better, I can somewhat relate. We’ve had at least one death in the family every year for the past 3 years. My grandfather, then grandmother, then uncle, then just recently a couple extended family members. It sucks. All of them were sudden. It’s hard sometimes when planning the wedding to think who else will be gone by the time we get married. A selfish thought, but I can’t help it. Sometimes I wanna tell FI  that we have to have it sooner so everyone will be there.

Post # 7
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

Geees, I don’t know what to say.

Take time to breathe; find small pockets of time where you can be by yourself to scream, to think, or spend time with friends removed from the situation and talk about other things to distract you for a moment.  You’re going through a lot and certainly need some pockets of time to escape from it all.  Your story puts all my current worries into perspective.  I feel bad for thinking small things are the end of the world when such stuff is happening to people.  Look after yourself therefore you can then look after those around you.  Do not neglect yourself.

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m sorry. I’ll come to your pity party if you decide to throw one.

FI nearly died in May, what we thought might have been the flu turned out to be a blood infection that attacked all his internal organs and destroyed two valves of his heart. A month in hospital, a heart operation and 9 day coma later, he got through by the skin of his teeth.

Shortly after that, two close family friends (who were basically adopted grandparents to me) passed away 16 days apart. Two funerals in two weeks sucks balls.

And we moved house in all that, awesome friends came to our rescue and saved FI from doing too much heavy lifting since he was only 2 months post surgery.

It feels like misery and death come in waves, we had something similar a few years ago when we lost 4 people in 4 years. Time for the universe to cut us all a break!

Post # 11
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

@Rachel631:  Ahh yes.  I have many worries daily but I do try not to let them make me ill because life is precious.  I hope for you that this is an end to your wave of serious troubles now.  Internet Hugs to you!

Post # 12
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

@Rachel631:  P.S. 2014 had better be a kick-ass year for you 🙂

Post # 14
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Rachel631:  Looking at FI now, you’d never know he’d been sick unless he showed you his scars. He had two new valves put in, a pig tissue valve in one and a mechanical valve in the other. He also had a graft put in because the infection ate a hole through his heart and because he lost a lot of conductive tissue he has a pacemaker for life. The valves will need replacing in 10-15 years. He’s on blood thinners and blood pressure medication for life also.

The only upside to all this (I have to believe there IS an upside) is that we are finally getting married. We kept putting it off, and it took almost losing him to realise that all that matters is that we have each other. I’ll never take him for granted again.

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