Post # 1
Hello Waiting Bee’s –
If you read my previous post, it was about how my SO led on that he was going to propose on a romantic get away in the mountains and it didn’t happen. I had a meltdown, but after 7 years who wouldn’t?
Now I am really annoyed, because all of my single friends think I was a huge brat. They all feel like if I’ve waited 7 years then what is a few more weeks? I’ve tried to explain to them that every day feels like an eternity, but they don’t seem to understand AT ALL. I can tell they have been talking to my SO and they think I am ungrateful for all the effort he has been making.
Part of me thinks they just don’t understand what waiting feels like, yet another part of me wonders am I really being a brat? I am extremely grateful that I have a wonderful man who loves me and obviously wants to marry me. But making me wait forever and being upset about it doesn’t make me a brat.
What do you bee’s think?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re a brat, you just had an emotional moment. When they get to your point in their lives, they will finally understand.
Post # 4
7 Years is a LONG time! Of course you had a meltdown, who wouldn’t have!? They probably think you are a BRAT bc they are jealous you are being proposed to soon and they aren’t. That is sadly the way a lot of girls are like.
Post # 5
They have no basis for comparison, so take what they say with a grain of salt. It’s one of those things that they cannot possibly understand until they go through it.
I got a lot of the same thing, oddly enough, from my married friends. They had all been married for so long they had forgotten what the uncertainty of wondering whether it actually would happen felt like, and why wasn’t I just happy living together without getting married? Yeah, easy for you to say…
Someday they will be where you are and will understand exactly what you’re going through. But on a slightly related topic, what exactly does seem to be the holdup?
Post # 6
@EffieTrinket: thanks. The hold up is that my SO thought when you buy a ring you walk out with it and we all know that isn’t true. I’m pretty sure it’s not scheduled to be delivered until next week. My patience has grown thin.
Post # 7
I do not think youre being a brat. I agree that your single friends have nothing to compare your situation with. My best friend had gotten engaged a year ago and prior to that she was itching to get the proposal for like 3 years. (They were together for 8 years when she did get engaged). although I wasn’t exactly single, I wasn’t in the same place w my relationship so I didn’t know the feeling. But I did feel sad for her after multiple vacations, anniversaries, birthdays and holidays passed with her thinking “this is it”. Our other friend was kind of mean about it, telling her to stop complaining and he will do it when he’s ready. To me it made my single friend seem bitter.
A few weeks ago I met with another recently single friend. She asked when I thought it would happen and I said I didn’t know but that I was getting annoyed with waiting. And she mentioned her friend that just got engaged days before was planning for a fall wedding, and after my heart sank I admitted that’s what I wanted and since we share friends ill have to work around hers. She said I was being ridiculous lol. So don’t take it to heart!! I’m sure many of us have had a similar incident.
Have you guys discussed martiage seriously? does he have s ring or a plan, you thinK? Waiting is tough, but kudos for your 7 year relationship. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!
Post # 8
Oops.. this was supposed to be on another board lol sorry
Post # 9
You’re not being a brat at all, after 7 years getting upset about a proposal you thought was coming on that trip not happening is completely understandable!
Post # 10
I agree with everyone else. You’re definitely not a brat. Only someone who has been in your shoes can judge for themselves. I know after five years, going nuts. And for him to wait 7 years AND lead you on to a proposal?? That is just torture. Just try to keep yourself calm and not say much to him ’cause he probably is working on it. I thought mine wasn’t and didn’t say anything for 2 weeks. Turns out he was planning it for those two weeks. Just stay on the bee and keep calm. Keep yourself busy my dear. Good luck!
Post # 11
No, I don’t think you’re being a brat. That said, I think they’re trying to offer you some perspective in a not so gentle way. I’m sure they come from a good place, they’re just not being very sympathetic towards your feelings. Do you talk to them about this constantly? Maybe they’re getting a little weary of hearing about it?
If you don’t feel like they’re going to be understanding about your waiting vents, just do it here….lots of bees are here to listen 🙂
Post # 12
@vanillahoney: We’ve discussed marriage deeply. He has already bought the ring it just hasn’t been delivered yet. I am a tad resentful that it took him this long to order the darn thing. All of my friends love my SO (which is great) so they don’t undersand how I could possible be angry with him!
@les105: I have tried really hard not to talk to them about it. It’s very exciting but quite draining at the same time. I really hope they aren’t jealous, I just want them to be happy for me 🙁 I will keep the venting to wedding bee for now on.
Post # 13
@Meant2Bee: you are NOT being a brat!! i have to be honest, when my sister was waiting, i did not get it either…now that she’s married and i’m waiting, she is being really nice about it, but she’s having the last laugh!
Post # 14
7 years is a long time…I don’t think you’re a brat! I’ve seen girls have a stage 5 meltdown after no proposal on the 1st anniversary. You are completely within your right.
Post # 15
You’re not being a brat, you’re just at the end of your rope and it’s hard to be as “reasonable” in your current situation as you’d probably be in the best of situations… It is completely unfair (and a little bit irresponsible) for your SO to lead you to believe a proposal was happening when he wasn’t 100% certain he was going to be able to pull it off. That is such an emotional rollercoaster to put you through, I don’t think anybody would be acting completely reasonable under those circumstances! I’m sure your friends are trying to help you take a step back and take a deep breath, but it sounds like they are just making you feel bad. Maybe they can’t understand the ups and downs you’ve been through and how important this is to you. And I’m sure that it isn’t just the extra couple of weeks that’s bugging you like they think, it sounds like it is the expectation and then ensuing disappointment; I bet if they understood that part of things, they would think your feelings were completely justified! Hang in there, just a little while longer. Try to relax and focus on other things so you can enjoy it when it happens, rather than allowing any resentment to build.
Post # 16
This makes me think of a moment I had with my fiance..prior to being engaged.
We had been together for 4 years adn he sent me flowers to my school where I was student teaching. The message inside said something along the lines of, “I can’t wait to get the ball rolling with your by my side” and something about “moving on to bigger and better things”..All the other teachers at my school were convinced I was getting engaged that weekend when we celebrated my birthday.
Soooo, the weekend came and in the back of my head, I was POSITIVE that it was going to happen. I even had an idea of how he may do it. The night was dwindling away and nothing happened. Let’s just say I all of a sudden had a meltdown and he had no idea why. We look back and laugh about it, but at the moment, I was SO UPSET!! The feeling of waiting and being completely ready is so HARD, but it will all pay off.. He propsed about a year later..He said he would have done it before but he wanted to get a better ring..Haha..I’ll take that:)
I don’t think you are being a brat at all..We all have emotions, espeically when being with someone we love for that long. Hold in there..IT WILL HAPPEN:)