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Big hugs!!! I'm really sorry. I really don't know what to say to make you feel better, just know you have a tremendous virtual support system. That is probably one of the hardest situations to be in because you have already committed so much of your life to him. I know it's hard but it might not be a bad idea to sit down and make sure you both want the same thing out of the relationship. I think you could better gauge the situation if you know his perspective.
Thanks, I will try to get some sleep and drown myself in school work to get away from this.
I don't know if he is trying to throw me off about the proposal, but I am pretty impatient (which he knows) so it only frustrates me. And it doesn't help when I try to talk to my family about how I feel and they make me feel bad.
I usually express myself and don't keep any secrets, but I am thinking about distanting myself from all of them for a while so that I can feel better.
I talked to him and it seems like he is trying to get things together on his end so that he can propose to me. I think that we wants to make sure everything is perfect with work, etc. I respect that, but I wish he just would have expressed that earlier.
I don't think you were here when I wrote my post, but I got so much wisdom from it and felt sooo much better after I was done with it... I have gone through every emotion in the waiting period, joy, frustration, anger, joy, and now i am in the anxiety phase (that I didn't expect)... I am worried about how I'm going to pull all of this stuff together if he asks sooner than I expect him too 
..... other than that I'm just enjoying the wait to be quite honest with you... relax your time will come to, I promise.
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/anyone-else-getting-pissed-with-waiting-major-vent
I think because of the season all of us bees are getting a little crazy, myself included.
I think that we should just relax and enjoy the little butterflies that are in our stomach whenever we think about when and where and how it is going to happen.
You have a lifetime with this man so just enjoy being his girlfriend for now becasue it will never happen again.
(((HUGS))) Trugem I totally understand! Plus the year is winding down and this is the time of the year where many bee's feel annoyed.
i know how you feel! it does hurt when you've been with someone for so long and they just keep dragging it out. i absolutely hate telling people how long i've been with my boyfriend for. last year i was asked so many times (mostly by girls who got engaged) and most of them ask how long has it been since you started dating and when i tell them they have this shocked look on their face and then they say "oh, i'm sure it'll happen for you soon!". i don't need them to pity me. haha.
i think what makes it really tough for me is that most people in my family and his were married relatively quickly after starting to date and as pathetic as this sounds, i kind of feel like i'm still a kid (even though i'm 26) and nobody takes me seriously because we haven't gotten married yet.
Ummmmm I am so totally at the exact same place you are! We see eachother EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and the last week has just annoyed me to death. I find myself just wanting to be by myself and not having to deal with his lectures on whatever (he knows alooooooooot and likes to talk about everything) and him asking if I've seen this movie or that movie (for some reason we talk about movies alot). He's getting on my last nerve. Like I said, I feel you and am also not sure what to do about it.
i remember this stage of the game and it is sooooo difficult to put the expectations aside and just be happy as is. that said, it really helped me when i realized how many great opportunities i was ruining by holding my breath for "that moment." every time we went to dinner or out somewhere special i would get butterflies and think to myself "this is it!" then, when i realized my mistake all i could feel was disappointment and sadness. it took a long time but i came to the realization that all of this build up and subsequent let down was one big emotional rollercoaster i didn't need to ride! and, being so hyped up about a proposal meant that i was missing many fun, intimate, cozy relationship moments. every event was somehow marred by its failure to produce a diamond. it took effort but i had to decide to "live in the moment" (cliche, i know!) and enjoy each activity for what it was...another opportunity for me to spend time and be close with the guy that i love! and believe me, once my thinking realigned i finally got my diamond...and i didn't even see it coming!
Thanks for the advice. When I was talking to my Mama the other day, she was making me feel like I was being a nut. She was telling me that she respects him for getting himself together and trying to make a better life for us. And that I was going to drive him away because men have pride, blah, blah, blah. I have pride too, and I don't like it when people pity me because of how long we have been together.
Iggies: I am in the same boat. It just urks me when someone who is younger, and have dated their boyfriends for less time complain about how long they have been dating.
I am trying to prepare myself for this weekend so that I won't be bitter at the wedding. I am also going to try not to talking about wedding to no one but my BEES for a while.
Thanks Ladies!
I get like that too. Its so hard to wait and be patient. but don't rush this time. I know you have been together a long time, but enjoy the time you are in. it will happen!
Thanks! I want to enjoy my life and not worry about a proposal. We had a good talk and he started to see things from my perspective. He always knew that it bothered me when people would ask about our relationship, but I guess he never tired to understand why.
I think that he forgets that we are two different people and we handle and look at things differently. I told him that I want to enjoy my life and not have so much stress about a happy time. He told me that when the time comes, I will be happy and all of the people that had something negative to say will have nice things to say because the ring would be worth the wait.
@truegem - i totally feel the same way!! i feel like girls who have been with someone a long time at least have a right to complain. haha.
sometimes i need to be away from my boyfriend, especially when i get mad. i was thisclose to staying at a friends place saturday night.
I'm kinda in the same boat as you trugem. It's been 6 years...and all the people I know who have been dating their BF for a year or two are getting engaged. The "oh it'll happen soon for you too" comments are hard to stomach, but I think people just don't know what else to say. I'm sure they mean no harm when they say that (atleast that's what I like to think). I just ignore it, it'll happen eventually, even if it's not as soon as I'd like.
Yeah, I am just going to have to learn to stop allowing words to hurt me so much.
I have been feeling the exact same way recently. Last weekend BF’s sister (who got engaged over the summer – after less than 18 months with her SO) was like “Oh you are like the movie 27 Dresses – you have to be my wedding planner because I don’t know anything about planning a wedding and you are like a pro.” I am thrilled to help her plan – but it stings a little. And then BF and I get home and I a total grump – and he has no clue what might have upset me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I would have told her that it was rude, or at least have your boyfriend tell her. I can't stand how people can get away with being rude to other people because they want to make a comment. I think that it is best that you tell her something now before she keeps making comments like that while you help her plan her wedding.
I so know how you are feeling. BF and I looked at rings in the beginning of June. After the weeks just kept passing by, I just got more angry and upset. Like, why in the world would you sit there and look at rings with me, have them take my ring size and not even so much want to discuss it again. You don't know how many nights I just went to bed upset and mad at him. Its only been just recently that I have finally realized that I do have to enjoy US as we are right now and stop worrying so much because all of that could just do the opposite and push him away.
He does want to marry me, he has said it plenty of times. He even said he had "planned" on asking around Christmas...of course, this was during those arguing times, so who knows if that has changed. He is not a very talkative person to begin with so knowing how much he wants this to be a surprise, I won't have a clue when or how it will be done.
ok, I know I totally was just babbling...but who else is going to listen to me....my mom keeps telling me to stop worrying! He wouldn't dare tell her his plans, her and I are like best friends. I am sure I could get it out of her.
Sealion: Me and my mama are like bffs and she is constantly telling me the same thing. But I really felt better yesterday after looking at the Priscilla of Boston website and saw some beautiful dresses with at a great price.
I'm so sorry, I know how you feel.
My FI and I were together for 7 yrs before he proposed this past May.
I hated going to my parents house in Florida every year because my mom would always say...when are you guys getting married? I would tell her, I don't know, he hasn't proposed yet. And she would always say...he proabably doesn't want to marry you!
UGH...I would get infuriated.
He was just taking his time and saving up for a ring. It will happen, don't worry!
Try not to wait and just enjoy the time being with him. I didn't wait and my FI surprised me one day and it was awesome. Turned out that he has been waiting himself (to save up some money for the ring). As long as you know there is strong potential you'll get married (i.e. you know he wants to get married one day and intend that person to be you), just enjoy being together. It's not like he'll go away if he's that serious about you. :)
I was right there with you about 2 years ago. I was getting majorly frustrated and anxious about when my guy would propose. Turns out hig timeline was just lagging behind mine by about 6 months (even though I had pretty much picked when I wanted him to propose by adding six months to when I REALLY wanted him to propose). Sometimes guys are just slow, and by the time they decide they're ready to propose the reality of purchasing an engagement ring hits them. There are tons of "ladies in wedding" here, so you're in the right place. Maybe waiting together is better than waiting alone.
Thank You! I am just trying to be happy and enjoy life because life is too short. Plus, if I can be graceful during this time in my life, it would only encourage him to propose.
Hugs!! I don't have any earthshattering wisdom for you. But I did feel that way waiting for my FI to propose. All my friends getting married, and you want to join in! I equated waiting for him to propose to like waiting for my life to start. My grownup life that is. As soon as I got over that grumpyness waiting for the ring funk and realized how lucky I was to have found the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with so early in my life and realized how many wonderful years we had ahead of us...well, the ring seemed little in perspective. Nearly forgot about it-then bam! He proposed! Hope you can find you emotional path like I did.
Thanks. I do feel like I am waiting on my adult life to begin. I am just going to try to look at the bright side of things.
I'm in the same situation as well. My BF and I have been together over four years and we even went and picked out engagment rings last month but whenever I bring up the subject of being engaged he doesn't even want to talk about it with me because he knows I will just end up getting upset because I feel we should have been married by now. It's hard for me when all of my friends are already married and have children and have been dating less time than me and my BF.
Yes, we have picked out rings and designed one. I knew that it would take a while because he wanted to get me a big good quality diamond and not be in debt.
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I have gotten to the point where the waiting is just too fustrating for me. I just want to go away, and ask him to come back when he is on one knee. I am so sick of going to events and people are constantly asking me the same question that I keep asking myself, "When are you getting married?" I just want to say "Heck if I know!" I have to go to a wedding this weekend along with the family/holiday functions. The thing that really makes me angry is that he acts like it is no big deal. I am so tired of this and I just want to distant myself from him because I am begining to resent him.
I am even at the point where I just want to cry and that is so out of character for me. I do love him, but I think that I am afraid of being that girl that just waits forever. It has been over 6 years and even though most of them were high school and college, I still don't like the fact that I have had to wait so long to get a proposal. To top it off, the promise ring that he gave me a few years ago is so big for a promise ring, that people mistake it for the e-ring and it hurts me to have to correct them.
I am just getting embrassed to tell people how long we have been dating. I have expressed these things to him, but I can't fight these feelings. Please help! Sorry that this is so long.