All Plus Size Women!

posted 3 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Totally agree. It seems that every woman has something he doesn’t like about herself, and it’s even more common for women now a days to find LOTS of things not to like about themselves. I think it’s important to remember that nobody looks picture perfect all the time – tv, beauty advertisements, and even porno have really given us a skewed sense of what beauty truly is. You can’t compare yourself, an average girl, to a model or pornstar who has a team of makeup artists following them around. Honestly, with enough makeup, you can take a MAN and turn him into a beautiful woman with makeup.

Post # 4
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I really am a firm supporter of being happy in the skin you were born with, and accepting “flaws” you may have. However, I see a lot of women crossing the line.

For example, I know a woman who is 6’0 but weighs about 500lbs. She loves to post things on facebook about “screw anyone who thinks i’m not beautiful the way i am!” While I say “more power to you” for having confidence, she and many other women aren’t paying attention to what being overweight does to their health. She has had vein thrombosis and burst veins in her legs, at the age of 22, because of her obesity. She is putting herself at risk for diabetes, cardiac issues, fertility issues, skeletal issues…the list goes on.

I myself am “plus-sized” and overweight, and the only reason I try to fight it is to make myself more healthy! My FI tells me I am beautiful, and I am a very confident person, but I have high BP and other obesity related problems. I’m not by ANY MEANS saying you are unhealthy, because there are overweight individuals who are healthy. I am merely saying I hope that we don’t, as a society, switch to condoning obesity, because it really is taxing to the individuals themselves, and to our healthcare system.

ETA: I really hope I don’t get flamed. As a plus-size woman, and a very accepting person, I agree we are all beautiful people! I just hope society focuses their “nit-picking” ways towards health instead of appearance.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  kendra389.
Post # 5
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

By self loathing what do you mean exactly? personally I havent seen much of that around the bee but I have seen women who are trying to lose a little weight for one reason or another.

I am plus size… I’m a size 16 (14 on a good day) and I can stand to lose a pound or 2 or 20. Im at the stage in my life where I want to settle down and have children and being overweight is just not healthy in that regard. i have been told by doctors that I will have a hard time getting pregnant, who wants to hear that at 25? Not me! Maybe this comment is misplaced but from someone who was 272.4 lbs just last year with a family history of diabetes and heart disease, I think its irresponsible for me to be completely complacent with staying at 272 (im now down to 235). My health is paramount to everything and although i am overweight (obese by bmi standards) I am comfortable in the skin Im in! I wear fly clothes, I do my make-up, i feel beautiful and accomplished everyday. But still think that I am fat… because i am. All that means is that by definition I “have a large amount of excess flesh.” That does not have to be a negative thing!

Post # 6
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FutureMrsHolmes:  i am plus sized, and have always been a bigger girl, but its never stood in my way! i look at myself and beautiful inside and out, and i am very confident.

i am working on losing weight now, both for the wedding and for my health, but not because i want to be accepted by society and to follow that “norm”. i’ll never be a size 4, and that’s ok wth me!

my best advice to anyone is to look in the mirror and love yourself. be proud of who you are. and if you have someone who loves you and wants to spend their life with you…embrace it! what a treasure!

Post # 7
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My FMIL shared something with me the other day “If you’re feeling insecure or doubting your self stop and look around you may be surrounded by assholes.” That’s stuck with me so power to the positivie people! 

 

Post # 10
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

kendra389:  I agree with you 100% I am incredibly happy with the way I look.  I am happy with my body; lumps, bumps and curves.  I have great skin, gorgeous hair and I would consider myself to be pretty.  But I am overweight (5ft 7 in; 204 pounds) and what I don’t love about my body is that my thyroid is underactive (genetic, but I’m sure not helped by my excess weight) and that my knees sound like crunching leaves when I go up and down stairs.  And they are SO SORE if I walk too far, or if I sit cross legged.  I’m currently trying to loose 42 pounds, not so I can fit in smaller clothes, or be more asthetically pleasing to a random person on the street, I want to be healthier, and I want to be lighter before I TTC

 

FutureMrsHolmes:  I think that people are judged too quickly, and that people are beautiful because of the person they are not what they look like.  We should all embrace our imprefections because we are all strong, beautiful women!  I saw this wonderful quote the other day: be yourself and you can be whatever you want 🙂

Post # 14
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Dunes House - Hilton Head Island, SC

I’ll continue following this thread for inspiration. Unfortunately, loving myself is a work in progress, so I’m not sure how much support I can provide.

I gained most of this weight following a back injury in 2005 – I’m 5’3″, and before the injury, I was 120 lbs. – now I’m 180. I’m a street size 16 and carry most of it in my chest and hips. I originally herniated one disc in 2005; I’ve now got another full-blown herniation (from when I moved to SC in 2011) and another disc that’s headed that way.

I’ve gotten a LOT of hate hurled my way due to my weight – my ex cheated on me, and blamed me being fat for it. When I told my brother that I’d broken up with him, my SIL told me I’d better beg for my ex to take me back and starve myself if necessary because I wasn’t going to be able to find anyone else. Online dating was a minefield for me. I’ve had random people shout hateful things at me from cars and tell me in the grocery store they didn’t want to pay for the diabetes they were POSITIVE I had (because all fatties have diabetes, dontcha know? [sarcasm]) I’ve had people tell me to put down the Big Macs and pick up a set of weights (never mind that I haven’t eaten at McDonalds since I got food poisoning there 22 years ago, and I’m not supposed to lift over 20 lbs. per doctor’s orders).

So yeah, I’ve got issues, and have been working through them for years. I’ve been transitioning to a semi-vegetarian diet (I’ve been having issues giving up fish and dairy) not because it will help me lose weight, but because I’ll feel better. I watch my diet because diabetes, heart problems and high blood pressure run in my family, but I’m not obsessive over it – if I want a slice of key lime pie, I’ll eat a small slice and not beat myself up for it afterwards. Exercise is limited for me due to my back issues, but I try to walk with my husband when possible, and also do yoga.

I follow the fat acceptance/size positive movement, and I do agree with a lot of what they say in practice – it’s just a matter of applying it to myself. I’m still somewhat stuck in the “accepting one’s body as it is is fine for everyone else, but not for me – I still need to lose weight” mindset.

I don’t think anyone can judge anyone else’s health from the outside without being their doctor. This is the main problem I have with the “you’re condoning obesity if you encourage people who aren’t thin to accept and love themselves” argument – only my doctor has the right to tell me what he thinks my health status is (and for the record, my blood sugar, blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol levels are all normal or below normal).

I’ve been going to therapy, have bought and read multitudes of body image self-help books, follow body positive blogs and Pinterest boards (and created one of my own). Happily, my husband (who I found through online dating) thinks I’m perfect just the way I am, and this has been very helpful. He’s been helpful in forwarding me articles, recommending books, etc. to help me in this quest (he’s a philosophy professor who took a lot of gender studies classes in college). He tells me (and shows me) constantly that I’m beautiful. Now it’s up to me to believe it for myself.

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