Post # 1
SO I don’t have a bridal party … but if I did this friend would be in it. She is one of my "go to girls" Today I sent her a text to see if she would go out with me tonight to a Bridal Show in town. Mind you, we live in a small town and there hasn’t been one the whole time I have been talking about getting married & actually being engaged. But she is "All Wedding-ed Out"
You see 2 weeks ago she moved in with new roommates, then got the crazy idea to marry one of them! Yes, she married someone she has known less than 2 weeks. It isn’t a "real" marriage … more like a contract thing. It is a business relationship. They went to the courthouse last Friday with the other 2 roommates. That is IT.
How is she "All Wedding-ed Out" to do stuff with me for my REAL wedding?? UGH!
Post # 3
Ok wait, I’m confused. She actually married this guy she knew for less than 2 week or they have some sort of “contract”? What do you mean, not a “real” marriage?
If she did really marry him, that is a bit on the crazy side to me! wow! I can’t imagine! How did she tell you?
Post # 4
She really married him, it is a legal marriage … done in front of a judge and everything. They just aren’t "emotionally" connected … no physical contact (the kissed in front of the judge that is it) They will be married for 2 years, already have the end date decided. They are only married for the money & benefits (he is a Marine).
She told me on the phone "I set our appointment to get married today" I really didn’t think she would do it. I thought one of them would back out … but nope the marriage certificate has been signed, sealed & delivered to their house.
Post # 5
Is she all weddinged-out from talking about your wedding perhaps? I know that one of my bridesmaids is sick of hearing about it, so I try not to bring it up unless she does.
Post # 6
I’m confused too. How is it not real if she went to the courthouse?
Post # 7
OMG Amber1279.. I understand your point of the topic but I have a feeling you are going to get a lot more people interested in your friends topic!!
I would say I am wondering if she is "wedding out" by your wedding….
As for your friend.. WOW… I have heard of people saying that would just get married for different reason and seen my fair share of movies with that happening but now I get to say that I have actully interated with a someone who knows someone who did it …
Post # 8
hm… that type of marrying doesn’t seem right to me… almost like that would be illegal to do something like that… but i have no idea so to each their own.
i can see why you might be upset about this. because you feel that she should be there to support you and that her excuse isn’t really valid. but it’s how she feels and you can’t change that, you can be right or feel just all you want but it’s not going to change her mind. ^_^
maybe you should turn to another friend then? or just go with the groom to be… I seriously drag my groom to be everywhere… i don’t care if it’s girls only take care of sort of thing… he’s coming with.
Post # 9
awww, that’s not cool! Sounds like your friend is being a little self-centered. If I were there I would so go with you. I don’t have any close female friends living in town to do stuff like that with.
Post # 10
I am hurt that she is using that as her excuse. It isn’t like she put together a "wedding" in a week … there was no planning. If she doesn’t want to go, just say so. I have been very limited in my "wedding activities" We only went to 1 bridal salon together and we combined it with an evening of fun in San Diego.
I also haven’t seen her since last week. I saw her before she went to the courthouse … and then have barely spoke or heard from her all week.
FH doesn’t want to go, he is taking my son with him to hang out at a friends house. My daughter and I are just gonna go. I don’t "think" I will need his input on anything. THe majority of our vendors are already decided. I just want the experience of going.
Post # 11
Of course another possibility is that she isn’t feeling so great about her decision. Maybe a part of her realizes that going to this with you will make her realize all that she is missing out on by choosing to get married the way she has. I can’t imagine why anyone would choose a marriage of convenience without love in this day and age.
Post # 12
Wow, your friend is crazy!!! Did one of them need a Visa? LoL.
It sucks that she isn’t being a good friend to you for your "real" wedding. I see what you mean by that. Well, can’t say I’d ever want to do what she did. Maybe your wedding makes her sad, like missrain said?
Use it as bonding time with your daughter!
Post # 13
I’m taking a stab at speaking for Amer, so correct me if I’m wrong. I think she means it’s not a real marriage because the friend and this guy don’t really love each other. They are getting married for the benefits. (Not that it’s not a real marraige because they are going to a JOP.) Also, I’m not sure if it would be considered illegal, but the term insurance fraud comes to mind. Is someone here an insurance person?? I think it would be considered a sneaky way to obtain insurance. But I don’t think there is any way to police it.
Back to your situation. Sorry she’s being weird. It’s hard to say why she’s not supporting you. Are weddings not her thing? Is she kind of over doing BM duties when she won’t be a BM? Is she kind of regretting marrying a guy she knows she’ll divorce? ( And wonders when she meets the right guy, if it won’t seem so special.) She’s not really respecting the institute of marriage.
It doesn’t sound like she should legitimately be weddinged out due to her own planning, or yours. Try not to take it too personally. Sometimes excues are excuses. Maybe she just realized from what you have done together you have completely different styles and she’ll be of no hope. (Maybe she hated the dresses you loved, or the floral arrangements.)
Post # 14
I totally understand you wanting to go just to go. I am the same way. Is there another friend or family member that can go with you? What about your daughter? Is she old enough to keep you company? It could be a fun mom/daughter date!
Post # 15
Oh, yes … Tanya is right – I have nothing against JOP or courthouse weddings.
I DO have a problem with the "let’s get married to get money & benefits from the government" That IMO is not a "real" marriage.
I am just gonna go tonight with my daughter. It is easier this way.
Post # 16
This is really embarrassing as a Marine wife to read about contract marriages. I hear about it all the time, being that I am a Marine Brat as well and have been around the military my entire life. I just think it is absolutely ridiculous and I believe she will regret what she’s done when she meets the man she actually wants to marry and be with forever. A good man probably won’t appreciate how she’s treated marriage in the past.
As for being wedding’ed out, it sounds like she’s a little overwhelmed by what SHE’S just done, and going to the bridal show with you will be a reminder of it. Frankly, she sounds selfish.