Post # 1
OK, so I posted earlier that my bf has this lovely ring his late grandmother wanted him to propose with. It’s too big and it is old white gold which usually has nickel in it. I am super allergic to nickel, to the point where I have to put tape over the metal inner button on my jeans if I wear them in hot weather…otherwise I get a rash.
So I can only wear nickel-free gold, silver or platinum so the ring is not an option. So there’s this other ring that we were looking at before my bf found out he had this heirloom ring (he’d forgotten he’d inherited it and then his parents reminded him). So we talked about it and he said he’d check with his dad. I think his dad doesn’t want him to change the setting becase he just asked me to send him the link to the ring I was originally eyeing, so I guess the heirloom one will just sit there unworn, which I respect, but I’m sad now.
I know this sounds silly…I’m getting the ring I ultimately wanted in the first place, but I feel a sense of mourning somehow. And wastefulness. Am I being ridiculous?
Post # 3
If you are allergic to the metal, and they don’t want the ring reset, you don’t have any choice. You have to start looking at other alternatives. I mean, who would want a ring that they couldn’t wear?
Post # 4
@lululee40: The thing is, my boyfriend doesn’t mind at all, He thought resetting was a good idea, even. It’s just his dad I think doesn’t want to, which I respect. And there’s no way of knowing what the grandmother would have wanted, alas.
I just feel sad I guess because the stone came from her father from some tie pin or something he had and I was hoping I could give it to my future grandchild some day and carry it on through the family. I’m just being overly-sentimental I guess.
Post # 5
@Cordellia: I completely understand how you feel. Heirloom rings have history and the feelings attached are sentimental and I would definitely respect his fathers wish to keep the ring “intact”. However, I would definitely make your feelings known to your future FIL, that while you may not be able to wear the ring, because of allergies, you would still love to have the ring so that you can pass it down to future generations. Especially if your FI’s grandmother wanted him to have this ring.
Post # 6
I wouldnt want my grandmothers rings “reset” then its not the ring is it, its just the stone. Not really the same.
Is there no way to have the whitegold sealed with another metal?
Post # 7
Is there a way a jeweler can test the metal? Or is it stamped with a gold hallmark?
Post # 8
@Cordellia: Could you take it to a jeweler that specializes in older jewelry? I know little to nothing about rings but could you maybe have it “redipped” or plated with gold?
Post # 9
Redipping sounds like a good idea, but that would take an expert to answer that question n I ain’t no expert.
I can undestand how you would feel sad over it, but its not your fault. If you are alergic then well, you are alergic. Its not like you said “THAT RINGI IS UGLY” and threw it across the room.
I can also see how they wouldnt want to reset the ring.
Perhaps, if you are going to have chidlren, you could give it to your daughter at a later time to keep it in the family?
Post # 10
I have this problem with an heirloom ring that I did not want reset – I had it redipped, and then the jeweler (because I was too afraid to) to painted the bits that bugged me with clear nail polish. Not a joke. I don’t wear it every day but now I can wear it. The nail polish doesn’t show. I wouldn’t have done that myself though!
Newer white gold rings don’t bother me, but old ones do.
Post # 11
Would it be possible for you to wear it around for a day to see if it irritates your skin? That’s what I would do.
The PP suggestions of having a jeweler look at it are good ideas as well.
Post # 12
Some jewelers do have a white gold plating that is nickel free, I believe it uses palladium instead. However, I would assume the nickel would start to bother you again whenever the plating started to wear off. Sorry I’m allergic to nickel too and it sucks!
Post # 13
@Cordellia: keep the ring, maybe you can pass it down to your children and they won’t be allergic.
Post # 14
Actually antique white gold didnt have nickel in it so you’d probably be ok. I have the same allergy
Post # 15
@blingbling: I’ve heard the exact opposite! I have modern white gold that I bought and I know it doesn’t have nickel in it because the rhodium is gone and I don’t itch. Appearantly, the EU banned the addition of nickel about ten years ago. I think in the US they still use it, though.
Anyway, I’ll wear her ring on my index finger (it fits there) during the ceremony to honor her. We’re getting a new ring and I feel better about it now then I did yesterday.
Post # 16
I feel your pain! I wore a cheap costume jewelry chain the other day and broke out in a rash on my neck and chest. So not pretty. When my FI proposed with an heirloom ring that had all the hallmarks worn away, I was so afraid that it would be white gold for this very reason! I’ve tried on a lot of antique rings (I can’t resist estate jewelry stores), and some white golds bother me and some don’t.
Can you wear the ring for a day and see? I think it would be worth the rash just to check. There is something so special about heirloom rings, knowing that they have history, and knowing their story. I love it when people ask me where my ring came from, and I have a great story to tell. This ring sounds so special, I think it would be worth wearing it around the house, and taking it to a skilled jeweler to see what could be done. It’s what I would have done if my ring had turned out to be white gold.