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Color Issue

Allowing +1s After Invites???

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    373 posts
    Helper bee
    vabride2011    July 23, 2011  

    We are not allowing +1s at the wedding, only long-term SOs.  This isn't for budget's sake, but because of space at the venue (we had to change after S-T-Ds went out).  FI and I decided that if we do get enough RSVP no's, then we'd be happy to accomodate +1, however, we haven't shared that information because we don't want friends to get upset if in the end we don't have the space to allow for them.

    Since letting everyone know of the no +1 policy, I have had three 'friends' tell me (two of them in a very rude way) they will not be attending my wedding *specifically* because they are not allowed to bring a date. All three know at least 20 people coming to the wedding, including EACH OTHER.

    My question is:  If space will allow, should I call these three people back, inform them that there is enough space, and allow them to reconsider coming with a guest or not?  OR if my wedding date wasn't special enough to come without a date, why would I then allow them to come with one?

     
    2.
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    Busy bee
    roxy_angell13    May 28, 2011   Canada

    We pretty much did the same thing. We invited a guest list and all long term couples. Now that we have gotten some no's back we have allowed some people in newer realtionships to bring a +1. It is soley up to you. But, saying they won't come because they can't bring a date kind of goes to show how much they care and how much respect they really have for you and your wedding day.

     
    3.
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    Sugar bee
    kperry3    January 1, 1991  

    If it were me, I would just leave them off the list. If they were rude about not coming because they can't bring a date... then they don't have to come. You saw the true side of them. That's only if they were actually rude though. If they simply told you that they felt uncomfortable without a date, and would pass, then I would talk to them again and say, "Guess what, we have more space!"

     
    4.
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    Helper bee
    vabride2011    July 23, 2011  

    @kperry3: Right.  The two mentioned above actually threw fits about the situation.  One hung up on me, the other told me I wasn't really her friend unless I allowed her to bring someone.  :( The third person seemed upset but not rude and she did make sure to tell me she hopes I have a wonderful day.  Perhaps the "Guess what, we have more space!" only goes to the one who was a bit more gracious.

     
    5.
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    Newbee
    Happy Donut    October 8, 2011   California

    I'd leave them off the list. If you were special enough to them, they'd attend your wedding whether or not they were allowed to bring a date. And they threw fits? NO WAY.

     
    6.
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    Busy bee
    LuvMySailor    September 24, 2011  

    I agree with the above posters. Leave them off. They seem bitter and not worth the amount of money it takes to even mail the invite.

     

     

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