(Closed) Allowing a full open bar for the bridal party and close fam?

posted 7 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@UpstateCait:  I’ve been a guest at wedding where the bridal party got better drinks than the rest of us.  I didn’t exactly resent it because I know the bride was on a budget, but at the same time, it made me crave something other than what I was served…which might not be the feeling you want your guests to have.  

If the drinks are available for everyone to have if it’s what they want, then whether or not the BP paid will essentially be unknown to your other guests.  

Just be prepared for your BP to run up a bigger tab than you’re expecting if they don’t realize that you’re paying by the drink for them and start handing them out to your other guests.  (I had no idea the way wedding bars worked before we started planning.)

Do your Grandmas like your sig drink?

Post # 4
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

As long as you keep it on the DL, it shoudn’t matter. But its hard to keep everyone from talking, if your grandmothers don’t know the open bar is only for them, and they start telling people to “go get a drink! It’s an open bar what are you talking about” and you might have aunts and uncles that are either trying to get free drinks or are now PO’ed. I think it’s risky, especially when you start extending it to certain guests besides the bridal party but no one else.

Post # 5
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just be sneaky about it. OR tell your bridal party you are giving them 100 cash for the bar… (or whatever amount).

The key is being sneaky. Or tell them to “start a tab” but really they’re not.

Post # 5
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@arenyth:  I agree.  I think people would end up finding out that some of your guests were getting open bar service and others weren’t, and you may be opening yourself up to a really awkward situation on your wedding day. 

Post # 6
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in a friend’s wedding this summer, and she’s considering doing this. This friend is on a pretty strict budget, so her bar will be all cash, but she wanted to have an open bar for the BP, as kind of a gift to them. I don’t actually think it’s the best idea, for the reasons stated above. I think your guests might feel slighted. If I were you, I’d keep it at the limited bar for everyone, or maybe do what @vmec: suggested and give the BP money to use at the bar, if that wouldn’t feel strange to you.

Post # 7
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My friend did this at her wedding. I obviously didn’t speak to all of the guests but I didn’t hear any complaints. I’m not sure how many people knew that’s how they were doing it.

Post # 8
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yea I think whoever you’re going to do this for, you need to speak to privately and let them know what’s up. If they can keep it to themselves then everything will be good, but I know my grandma and she’d be blabbing it all over the place…

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would just figure out how to be on the DL about it.  Give the bridal party and grandma’s cash or maybe give them drink tickets?  Something to disguise it from the other guests.

I’m curious though, how does the bartender know they are bridal party and grandma?  Are they supposed to indicate?  And what if, someone overhears them say bridal party and then sees them not pay, what will prevent them from just saying they are bridal party also? 

Post # 10
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would personally be offended if I were at a wedding and I could only get beer/wine, but the bridal party was knocking back vodka and scotch. Not offended like I would storm out of there, but it would leave a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t really see a reason to do it–if beer/wine is good enough for your guests, it should be good enough for your bridal party and family as well. If anything, encourage them to bring flasks or something. 

Edit: oops didn’t see that you would have a cash bar. In that case, I think it’s even less necessary to pay for bridal party/family drinks, since they can buy them if they wish. But it will also be easier for you to hide it if you choose to do so. 

Post # 11
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think this was a question before.  I think all guests should get the same treatment.  Unless you have a cash bar and just “buy” the bridal party a shot or drink as a “thank you”….

Post # 12
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As long as there is a cash bar for everyone else, it shouldn’t be a problem unless the BP is obvious about it. I was at a wedding where the BP and immediate family got free drinks, the bartender was just told to give free drinks to anyone wearing a boutineer, corsage, or bridesmaid dress.

I wasn’t offended at all. (Nor would I have known had one of the WP members TOLD me they were getting free drinks.) The wedding party does A LOT for the bride and groom. It’s really offensive to ask them to pay for their drinks.

If you’re still a little uncomfortable, you could do what @vmec said, which is give them each a certain amount of cash towards the bar.

 

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