Post # 1
I’m a newish bee gone annon for a scary and possibly triggering post so please read with caution.
I’m upset and my confidence is down and I just need to talk about it. Yesterday I was helping one of my friends clean out her mothers house because she died in a car crash recently. There were 5 of us cleaning in total. As it turned out one of the boys knew my FI. After this guy found out who I was he started looking at me like I was a piece of meat and trying to touch my chest every time we got into the truck. I repeatedly asked him to stop and he kept telling me that it was an accident.
I eventually got so frustrated that I asked him what the f*** his problem was. He told me that FI had told him some about our sex life (which is fine we’re very sex positive and open to our friends) and he thought that it was really hot that I enjoyed sex so much.
At this point all kinds of alarms were going off in my head and I started to feel unsafe in the situation. I thought that I would ok because the two other girls that were there were my good friends but much to my dismay, the girls who I had considered suchfood friends started talking all about the gritty details of my sex life. I also repeatedly asked them to stop and said that I was uncomfortable, but they didn’t.
I feel horrible and scared that this man was trying to touch me and asking me to come back to his place because FI is out of town. But I feel even worse that my friends betrayed me and acted like it was ok because I really like to have sex with the only partner I’ve ever had.
Post # 3
Wow, I’d be furious at all those “friends” who didn’t defend you. I’m so sorry!
Post # 4
Ummm, first I’d be furious that my partner was sharing such intimate details of our sex life with people. It’s none of their business.
Second, those are not your friends. If they were they’d of put that loser in his place right away.
I think you need to reconsider your partner, as well as the people you call friends.
Post # 5
@abbie017: I am furious and I have no idea how to address it! She asked us all to come help her come clean again but after being “slut shamed” and very nearly sexually assaulted, I will not be going back!
Post # 6
Wow, my mind is blown. Those are NOT your friends, you deserve better people in your life. I would have punched the guy in his balls after the first warning when he tried again.
Does FI know about this? He would be a good person to be there for you right now. I’m sorry OP 🙁
Post # 7
so sorry you went through that. how frightening and such a violation. I just wanted to say that technically you were not almost assaulted, you were assaulted. I’d seriously reconsider calling those girls your “friends”.
Post # 8
@WhoDatBee: wow…this is really messed up. I would have a talk with my FI as soon as he gets home and suggest that talking about your sex life is obviously dangerous for you.
Post # 9
@WhoDatBee: I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That is not ok! Your friends behaved abominably towards you.
Request your FI to from now on keep everything private between the two of you that should be kept sacred and private.
Edit: Also, I would like to point out that you did nothing wrong in this situation, whatsoever. I’m thanking God right now you weren’t physically assaulted in a worse way, thank heaven for that. You are entirely innocent, but your FI needs to know what happened so he can help prevent it from ever happening again.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
wow. these friends would be deleted from my life yesterday. That is NOT okay, and you should never hang out with ANY of them EVER again. NOT cool.
Post # 11
My friends and I are all pretty open about our sex lives and sometimes we tease each other about it, but not in front of strangers and certainly not after the person has said to stop! Both this guy and your friends behaved pretty grossly.
I’d tell your friends what happened and that you were really upset to have your private life discussed in front of this guy and that they kept going after you said it wasn’t funny anymore and asked them to stop. Hopefully they will apologize right away.
How close is this guy to your FI where he is discussing your sex life with him?
Post # 12
I agree with PPs who say that your sex life should not be discussed with others (on your or his part but I only say that because I’m a very private person when it comes to that stuff) however it does NOT excuse this guys behavior. I don’t care if he knew every last detail about your sex life and had had sex with you before. It still was NOT okay what he did. Nothing you or your FI did is to blame for this.
Post # 13
Yeah….you need to tell your FI about this…like now.
Post # 14
Thank you ladies for validating my concerns.
FI is not close with this guy anymore buy in college they were very good friends and definatly would have shared details about his life to FI.
I have talked to my FI about this and he feels so bad that he can’t be home until Christmas Eve. But it maybe a good thing because I don’t want him to go to jail for killing this scumbag.
The thing that I’m most concerned about is I feel like I may have unintentionally instigated this or something
ETA: Please don’t turn this in to an attack of FI sharing details. He didn’t give this guy a play by play of everytime we had sex just some more general details.
Post # 15
@WhoDatBee: no you did not instigate it. that guy is a scumbag! i don’t care if you flashed your tits at him and danced around naked – he has no right to touch you without your consent.
Post # 16
@WhoDatBee: ((HUGS)) I don’t think any of us means to insinuate that you or your FI are in any way to blame for what happened, at all. Please don’t misunderstand about that. We just want you to be safe and protected. The two of you are not in the wrong here, it’s just a hard lesson learned. And it could happen to any woman, as we all know.
We’re here for you, I’m sure that had to be a very frightening experience.