Post # 1
The first couple of days were kind of hard….but I moved out that week. It was tough at first, to say the least. I had no idea this was going to happen, and no idea something like this would be what I would be looking at 6 months before I was supposed to get married to someone I thought was my forever. I thought this was a rough patch in the road and things would be fine (finances, working opposite shifts, etc.) before he told me he was “done”….and it broke my world apart when he said it was over and he didn’t want to be with me. Fortunately for me, I found out some things that made me angry and have made it easier to get over this whole thing. I’m mad that I got into a little bit of debt which I thought we would be paying off TOGETHER during our life together, but I will be doing most of it just by myself so that I can get away from him and not have to keep in contact with him….and get this stuff paid off and out of my damn name. I moved in with my parents for a little while so I can get some things payed off and then I’ll get my own place, in the meantime.
I miss so much….not necessarily about him but the things in a relationship….like hugs, kisses, having someone there to joke around with and flirt with, someone to go out to dinner with, someone to call any time (I do have friends but they’re not as available since most of my friends are nurses), and whatnot. Mostly I miss cuddling at night before falling asleep, hugs that made me feel safe and untouchable, compliments that made me feel giddy, a kiss that made me feel special, a conversation that connected us, etc. I miss the little things.
I don’t even know what I’m posting this for…to vent a little I suppose? Thanks for listening…
Post # 2
It will happen again with someone a million times better! Give yourself time and don’t rush into things.
Post # 3
NicoleLyn1218: I know it’s really hard, but it’s so much better that it happened now instead of after the marriage. Trust me from someone who’s been there. And you will find a good guy and you will have learned from this experience. Found my way better guy and we are getting married Saturday!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Villa Celeste
I read your post from a few weeks ago, and I’m glad to see an update on how you’re doing. I think one of the hardest parts is done (getting out of the place you shared, regaining independence). If I were you, I would just put my focus into moving forward, working on paying off your debt, etc.
I get where you’re coming from. Before I met my fiance, I met and fell in love with someone I thought I could make a life with. We were even living together and I anticipated a proposal, but it ended because of his infidelity. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I ever did, but looking back on it, I’m very lucky I did. We weren’t right for one another, no matter how much I loved him. It gets hard when you’re lonely, but if you can do something nice for yourself when you feel that way, (even if it’s something as small as taking a long hot shower or painting your nails, listening to good music, etc) it will help you to cope with those moments. One of the best remedies is time, and letting yourself work through your emotions. If you want to cry? cry. If you’re feeling angry, write a letter to him and rip it up. These are all things I’ve done in moments like those. Anyway, you seem like you’re doing well. Keep up the good work, and of course come here when you need people to lean on.
Post # 5
I am so, so sorry that you’re going through this. But I agree with the previous posters that it’s better this happened now, than later into the engagement or even after you were married. It sucks, and of course you miss things. But you’ll come back stronger than ever. AND find someone amazing.
Post # 6
RedHeadKel: Awwww so good to hear and congrats to you and your wonderful man!
erw4338: I was having a lonely moment when I posted this. And I got through it with the help of a friend who I actually met on here while we were both waiting for proposals….and talking to a guy friend of mine who I’ve known for 7 years. I’ve always been there for him, he’s always been there for me. We have barely seen each other in the 7 years we have been friends and we both just happen to be single at the same time so he’s been making some comments that indicate he would like to persue things and he knows what happened in the end of this relationship and I made it clear that I would need some time before jumping into a relationship…and he is okay with that and said “I’ve waited 7 years…a couple more months won’t hurt any.” so we will see. I am planning on going up to his house (we live 3 hours apart) Memorial weekend as long as nothing comes up in either of our lives that would not make that possible. He’s a great guy and he’s been so helpful through this. I also got my nails done, gray’s dyed out of my hair (yes, I’ve had them since I was 19 lol), and spent some time with a few girl friends this past weekend. Music has also been a HUGE factor in helping me.
You’re all right and I know this is true….I will come out stronger and I will find someone amazing who downright DESERVES to be with me, and who will know before proposing if this is what they want…..not almost a year later and 6 months before the wedding 😀
Post # 7
NicoleLyn1218: Very happy for you! I know it is tough, you you are making all the right moves to get yourself headed in the right direction.
And it is nice you have a guy friend to atleast cheer you up a litte, regardless of what happens. Sometimes it is nice to have someone to talk to.
Post # 8
leisha606: Thank you! Yeah I’m moving on quite fast…farther than I thought I would be but with the whole situation that happened, it certainly helped.
When ex-FI and I started talking, my guy friend was also single at that time and it was basically between the two…exFI stepped up and friend got busy. It’s clear to me now that I made the wrong decision. Coulda Woulda Shoulda…but maybe what happened needed to happen so I could learn about myself more and learn to appreciate it when the best came along! Who knows what will happen. If nothing, we will remain friends 🙂
Post # 9
I just read your previous post on the topic. I am so so sorry you have to go through this! But I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better. Just be strong and I am sure that someone special is on the stars for you in the near future. Hugs!