Post # 1
When I first got engaged, i knew right away who I was going to pick for my bridal party! My 2 cousins, my sister in-law, and my soon to be sister in-law. Nice and small, just family.. NO DRAMA… or so I thought.
Unfortunatley my brother & sister in-law just announced to our family that they are getting a divorce. I’m devistated about losing a sister.. but know like any break-up it will get better. It probably would have been harder having her in wedding pictures and looking back at them. So now we have 3 BM’s… I think.
I just found out that my groom’s sister has not been returning emails, phone calls, texts ect from the rest of the bridal party & my mom. Which is stressing them out, as i’m sure they are starting to plan a bridal shower. Yet, every time I am with my soon to be sister inlaw, she answers her phone EVERYTIME it rings.
So I mentioned something to my groom about maybe asking his mom to say something. So she didn’t think I was attacking her (she tends to be extremley defensive!) And he started venting about how all she does at home is complain about “having to be in the wedding” and how she “is doing us a huge favor being part of it.” I was shocked to hear all of this since I thought we were pretty close, and she always asks me about wedding plans. Not only shocked but really upset… Doing us a favor??? We wanted to include her in one of the happiest days of our life! I thought it was an honor to be in someone’s wedding???
Do I say something to her? Just drop it? I don’t know what to do, Help!
Post # 3
“Just drop it. Remember that either way she will be at the wedding. Do you want her sitting at table possibly telling everyone that you are the princess bride that kicked her out or standing next to you smiling? Even though you may be close in this situation she may be an enemyy. It’s better to have your enemy closer in this one.”
I quoted this because when I asked the same question about booting my FSIL out of the wedding this was one of the answers I got back. After being less emotional about it, this was the advice I took. Even though she may be complaining kicking her out may ruffle of FIL’s feathers.
Post # 4
I”d confront her, personally. I would say something like this with a really concerned genuine look on my face “I was really sad to hear that you aren’t happy about being in our wedding party. While it hurts my feelings, I just want you to be happy and I thought including you would achieve that. By no means do you have to be a Bridesmaid, I totally understnad and won’t be upset if it’s too much for you.”
She’ll either feel REALLY stupid for acting the way she has been, or she’s shape up immediately and stop being so selfish and bratty.
Post # 5
I agree with @moderndaisy. Leave the decision up to her and I don’t think you can go wrong.
Post # 6
I agree, I never even thought of “kicking her out”… just wanted to give her the option, so she doesn’t back out 2 weeks before hand. Thanks!
Post # 7
I’m really sorry that you are losing a sister and having drama with the FSIL. I would talk to her about if she wants to be in the bridal party, because she is your new family and you don’t want her to take on more than she can handle. But I may also mildly add, that being in the bridal party, and being a bridesmaid, means helping with the wedding things like the bridal shower. So you would really appreciate it if she could communicate better with everyone else, if she decides she wants to stick with it. Good Luck!
Post # 8
I like what moderndaisy said. If she says she doesn’t want to be part of the wedding party, let her leave. At least she’s not forced to stay in it and acts bitchy all the time.