Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
Everyone just received their invitations yesterday and my FI and I were both super excited about it – after 2+ years of being engaged we’re finally at this stage of planning! Unfortunately, instead of getting excited messages about them, we only received negative comments or passive aggressive criticisms 🙁 I’m sure most people won’t be like this, but the only people who commented on our invitations haven’t really said anything nice about them.
My FFIL was complaining that we didn’t use my FI’s last name on the invitation. I can see where he’s coming from, but both my FI and I preferred to just have our first names because it fit better and we’re having a relaxed wedding and didn’t feel then need to make things super formal. Plus, we’re only inviting people who have met both of us and who see us regularly, so everyone already knows his last name. I’m just really frustrated, because we sent them a proof to approve before we ordered the invitations. The only thing my FI’s dad and step-mom said we should change was the font – they approved the lack of last name! Why tell us AFTER we purchased and mailed the invitations!? Why even point out something that can’t be changed!? It’s not like now we’re going to order new invitations and send them out to ‘correct’ the old ones!
Then my grandma was saying that we should have included both sets of parents on the invitations (my FI was totally against that idea and is still glad we didn’t include his parents on the invitation – he isn’t close with them at all and they don’t have the best relationship). Then she complained that we didn’t use middle and last names. The thing is we sent her a proof to approve as well! The only thing she said was that she wanted my parents first names included, but we didn’t really have room and my parents were fine with just their last name. Our wedding is informal and very small – just close extended family (not even second cousins or anything!). This really hurt my feelings, becuase I’m very close with my grandma and I expected her to be really supportive.
Here’s a picture of our invitations:
Mr. and Mrs. (MyLastName)
request the pleasure
of your company
at the marriage of
Tabitha and Chris
If they had pointed it out during the proofing process and told us how important it was to them then we would have figured out some way to add our last names 🙁 There’s just nothing we can do about it now and no one cared when we were actually ordering them.
I know that we could have done things differently, but this is our first wedding – we’ve never done this before! That’s why we sent proofs to our parents and grandparents to approve so that we wouldn’t make a mistake… and now all we’ve heard about is mistakes. It’s so discouraging. I know we’ll probably get kinder comments over the next few months and that people aren’t going to love our invitations the way we love them, but it still stings. I just realised that this is the beginning.. this is the first official wedding-related thing that people have seen and they’re already criticising it. What is it going to be like for the actual wedding? I just feel like I’m second guessing myself even though I know our invitations are beautiful (at least to us). I just don’t know why people think it’s appropriate to make negative comments about something so happy – especially when nothing can be changed 🙁 Sorry – just had to vent.
Post # 2
Your invitations look really nice! We had people complaining about ours too – guests who couldn’t figure out how to fill out the RSVP, which was absolutely idiot proof (line for name, are you coming or not, and meal choice). It pissed me off so much because these people were clearly stupid, and yet they were acting like it was my fault that they couldn’t figure out a typical RSVP card? Okkkk… so I get what you’re feeling right now! Try to ignore it!
Post # 9
sugarpea: Your wedding, your invitations! People are always going to have opinions unfortunately, and you just need to push them aside. I think your invites look absolutely beautiful! So long as you and your FI like them, that’s all that matters!
Post # 3
Umm let these people know they recommended changes before the invites were ordered and these issues didn’t come up. Put it back on them for being absent minded.
Post # 4
sugarpea: They look lovely, they really do. One thing I have noticed about my mother as she gets older is she will say anything. I don’t know if that’s a “thing” people do as they get older, lose their filter? But then that might go doubly for your grandma.
Post # 5
That really blows, but if they mention anything else about it, I would just explain to them that THEY approved it and said it was okay, and there isn’t anything you can do about it.
I’ve already had my mother giving me grief about not putting her name on the invite, we are using “together with their parents”. Neither family is contributing, we are paying for everything ourselves, I don’t feel like I should have to list my parents on the invite.
Post # 6
Your invitations are lovely and the naysayers need to get over themselves and their unhelpful opinions. As you said, there is nothing to be done now about the perceived flaws and the invitations you have serve their purpose quite nicely. Tune the rest of out.
Post # 7
Your invitations are beautiful, and really, how you worded them was totally fine! And you are right– it *is* inappropriate to make negative comments about things like that! Don’t let it bother you, and I’m sure they’ll get over their concerns about your invites as soon as they have something else to complain about!
Post # 8
Opinions are like assholes – everyone has one. I wouldn’t worry about what people said, as long as you like them that’s all that matters.
Post # 10
Vent away. People closest to you can really drag you down during times that are suppose to be “happy times”.
Post # 11
sugarpea: your invitations are very pretty!!! Ignore the negative comments (I know it’s easier said than done!!!). If they bring it up again, I would reiterate to them that the proofs you showed them only had first names and everyone was okay with it. I’m sure in a month or so, everyone will forget that you didn’t include middle or last names.
Post # 15
you invitations are gorgeous! Ignore the negativity. Like you said, you gave them the oppotunity to give input and they opted not to. Now they’re just complaining for the sake of it.
Your wedding will be fabulous – hope your RSVPs come back as quick as ours did – mine went out 4 weeks ago today and we have 33% back already 🙂
Post # 12
I think your mistake is letting everyone and their grandma (literally) feel like they have a say, complete with revision power. I think you should button up your operation a bit and practice the smile and nod “thank you we will take that into consideration”, and thicken your skin a bit. It’s your wedding and FI and you can and should make decisions that reflect that.
Post # 13
Honestly? Those invitations look fine to me. Very pretty! I would assume that everyone who receives an invitation at least has some idea of which “Tabitha and Chris” are being referred to, so the last name thing is just nit-picky. I’m sorry everyone is griping about your invitations–way to really rain on somebody’s parade (especially since they could have said something before now!). Try not to worry about it. Some people just want something to b*tch about, you know?
Post # 14
I love your invites. I don’t understand why people make big deals out of things that can’t be changed. You already sent it out. Don’t worry about it! 🙂