Post # 1
i got married a few months ago and having my “real walking down the aisle wedding”in august. i know other people have gone through this but i wanna know how the people who didnt tell anyone did it. they get a fake marriage lisence or say they did it the night before or what?
Post # 3
Are you concerned that people will see your marriage license on the day-of your walk down the aisle or do you mean in the future?
I don’t really see the point in a fake license. You’ll need your real one for legal matters but aside from that, when would anybody see the license?
If you don’t want people to know, just don’t say anything.
I went to a DW last year where the bride and groom had a courthouse wedding a few weeks before the “real” wedding. They just didn’t tell anybody the truth (except for a few people who spilled the beans on facebook).
The only person that I would think really needs to know is who is officiating the ceremony.
In full honesty, i would have a really hard time standing up in front of my parents and not telling at least them the truth.
Post # 4
I know someone who did this. As paperwork for the marriage usually happens behind closed doors anyways before the wedding, no one even noticed with everything else going on. They just said they did the paperwork in advance that day or something along those lines.
Post # 5
We are goign to have a similar problem, though for the sake of not offending anyone we did tell our parents and close friends. They were very supportive and seemed to understand that we did it for several reasons including his military paperwork, my school and insurance benifits etc. I was SUPER nervous to tell them but they understood. We are still doing the walk down the isle thing and I still wanted to have something to sign the day of. We found something that our state does called an ‘heirloom certificate’ which is basicly a pretty peice of artwork with:
BRIDE NAME & GROOM NAME
ARE HERE BY MARRIED UNDER THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF ALASKA
We are probably going to be signing one of those. It doesn’t have a date on it, and is something that you can hang in your home as artwork later on.
That being said I HIGHLY reccomend not lying to the people who are most important. your parents and MOH especially.
Post # 6
Really you shouldn’t have to do anything different. Most weddings I’ve been apart of and attended the signing of the marriage licence is often privite between the officiant, witnesses and you. So as long as those people know, you need not do anything special. If someone asks (and I doubt they will) just say you had it signed early and the officiant signed it before the ceremony and was taking it to the post office.
Post # 7
I just got married and we plan to do the big thing in September. Originally we weren’t going to tell a soul. Figured my extremely religious family and his family who is terrified of anything off the beaten path wouldn’t be able to handle the news. After thinking about it, we decided to tell them and they took it rather well. Why did we tell them? Because we felt like hiding our decisions, decisions we made as independent ADULTS and partners, afraid of our families’ reactions as if we were children, would make it seem like we weren’t ready for marriage (especially if the news got out). It is our life. It is our marriage. And we were going to stand up for our choices. We told our parents and it went well and they were glad we didn’t hide it from them.
I’m not saying you don’t have valid reasons for wanting to keep it to yourself. But you may want to consider telling them. It was very liberating for us.
Post # 8
well we were going to them but we kinda brought before we did it and they didnt agree with it at all so we are going to stick keeping it a secret we just wernt sure axactly how the signing of the marriage lisence works at the actual wedding if people would notice or not
Post # 9
The signing of the license depends on what state you get married in.
In MA, we applied for the license together at the courthouse (signed documents there), gave our license form to the priest (Catholic wedding) at the rehersal (two days before the wedding) and he mailed in the paperwork after the wedding.
I have yet to pick up the actual license at the courthouse.
So, if you really want to avoid questions, don’t include anything in your ceremony that involves “signing” anything.
Post # 10
nobody noticed that it was missing from ours, so nobody asked about it.
in case it came up, we were prepared to say “we already took care of it ahead of time to get it out of the way“, which was technically not a lie – it’s just that the license was signed several months before the ceremony!
there were about 5 people who knew our little secret, so they were also coached to say this too.