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I would have you FI call them. It is his family, let him deal with it!
aaaack! i'm scared of the same thing happening to me. let us know how you decide to handle, and what the outcome is.
FI's problem to deal with. Have him call the cousins DIRECTLY (not his mom) and tell them your venue space issue and explain that you could not invite the children, which is why their names weren't on the invites in the first place. (Sadly, he'll have to make a script for this because it sounds like he'll be doing it A LOT. But's it's his family ergo his problem.)
So glad that y'all agree that I shouldn't call them or delegate this task to his Mom! I regret not doing the ___of ___ attending on the RSVPs. Big mistake for me ! haha
Oh yikes! How are people supposed to know who is invited without a __ of __ attending? Ernestly curious, I'm not criticizing you.
Since you didn't specify the number of people invited, this might be an honest mistake. I echo everyone's suggestions to just have your fiance call and explain the situation to them as nicely as possible, and have him make sure they know that the +3 unfortunately cannot be accommodated.
I agree with the above posters. Have FI call and explain the situation :) Good Luck!
People should know that the invitation is inviting the people to whom it is addressed--and no one else. If it was addressed to Mrs. Smith and no one else, then Mrs. Smith alone is invited. It doesn't matter what the RSVP card says, if it says anything at all.
Your fiance should call and clear it up.
@MightySapphire We did an inner and outer envelope with Mr. and Mrs. Whoever on the outer and FirstName FirstName on the inside.... I thought that it would be clear lol I would advise anyone to do the ___ of ___ on the RSVPs too though, just so it is clear for people...
That's kind of rude! If you're not willing to let it slide, I would call and explain the situation.
FI's cousin wrote in a date and I was INDIGNANT. I was like "that is SO rude! WHO does that?! You HAVE to call!" and the very next day, MY cousin wrote in a date. FI was all mocking me, like "WHO DOES THAT?!" Ha. We're considering letting both slide, unless other people do it and we're over capacity.
wow, I think your FI should handle it. He should call his mom and then either she or he could contact the "offender"..lol. hopefully, it won't be a big deal and it will help spread the word to others...good luck!
BTW, I have never gotten an invite that said "___ of ____ attending". I'd never heard of that until I joined Weddingbee! I didn't do it on my invites.
I can't wait to see who tries to do this to me! I agree to have your FI or his mom take care of it since it is their side. You wouldnt have him call someone on your side to handle the same issue would you? I dont get how ppl don't know what it means when an invitation is addressed to certain people.
Update! I called FMIL and she kind of wroked around calling them and said that she didn't know who the extra 3 were but that we should just "wait and see" who all RSVPs total. I was just like "Okay, That's fine. Just wanted to give you the heads up that we will have to call them." I have already decided that they'll be called lol If I have to wait until May 1st (RSVP deadline) then so be it! I am feeling really bridezilla right now lol It is just not okay to do that!
I know we are going to deal with this, too. You just have to be straightforward because if you let it go with one set of guests, another will find out and get upset. It's better to just nip it in the bud as hard as it is. You aren't being a bridezilla!
@mightysapphire, usually who the invite is addressed to is the implication of who is invited.
If you write Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson, it implies that only those two adults are invited. If you write Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson and family, it implies that they may bring their children as well, and then of course for unmarried persons, it's Ms. Tara Smith and guest, generally.
I have heard of many people writing ___of two, but we didn't word it that way. We just wrote, "There are ___ people in our party". Hopefully we don't get write ins, I wouldn't mind for the fact that we're not doing a dinner, just a light dessert reception, but the indoor space is SO small. If I could be assured it wouldn't rain, I would definitely allow children so that they could just run and play outside (our reception is a ten-acre property on a lake, very pretty and kid-friendly, but our indoor area is very small)
I think I'm going to have the same problem, and will have to be the one to address it. And I agree, it is rude and you are not being a bridezilla! I modeled my rsvp cards after these I saw on projectwedding:
http://www.projectwedding.com/post/list/help-needed-rsvp-card-wording
I sent the rsvp card with the correct number of lines per family to try and avoid this, but we'll see!
@Miss Sayrah: I AM SO AFRAID OF THIS HAPPENING TO ME!!!!
FI's mom is inviting HER COUSINS... when we're not even inviting some of FI"S COUSINS!!!! ugh... she says it's just the couple, but who knows who they'll want to bring along!!!!! :"(
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Hello Hive! I have found myself in a very difficult situation... we sent out our invitation last week and have already received our first uninvited +3 (yeah... plus 3...). The offenders are fiance's mom's cousins and I assume the uninvited people are her grown children. Do I call the people, or FI, or FMIL? We have limited venue space and I thought that it was ridiculous that FMIL wanted to invite her cousins that I have never met and FI hasn't seen in years but chose to "take the high road" and let it go. Now it has bitten me right in the ass! lol What should I do? I think that we'll have this problem again, as FI has a large family and we were only able to invite a limited number of them (no 3rd cousins...etc). Thanks in advance ladies!!