Post # 1
So FI and I are going to a wedding this weekend for a guy he knew growing up, a family friend basically who I’ve never met in the 5 years we’ve been together and just recently started hearing about. FI’s parents received an invitation to the wedding that I assume was meant for all of us (FI and me, and FI’s brother and his gf) but I never saw it, I was just told that we were invited. I thought this was weird since FI and I have lived together for 2 years and his brother and his gf have lived together for longer, yet we’re all lumped in to this one invitation. My question is, should we each bring a gift? I kind of feel like one gift from all 6 of us would be fine because there was only one invite sent. I honestly don’t care that much, as I don’t know these people, but I’m just curious what the overall feeling is in this situation.
Post # 3
Each couple should bring a gift. If the bride wasn’t aware of the etiquette rules of sending invitations that is one thing but I think each couple should bring a gift or give money. I guess the only way that would be okay is instead of lets say giving $200 each couple, you all give a card that has $600 inside.
Also, do you know if you were invited? If the invite was just sent to your FI’s parents and you didn’t see the invite or ever met the couple, maybe it wasn’t for the whole family. Someone should find out before the 6 of you show up when there are only seats for 2.
Post # 4
Would you contribute to the gift or would it really be a gift from two people with the names of 6 people?
If you can afford your own gift, I would give your own gift (or at least make sure the one gift was substantial). I don’t know if this is proper etiquette, but that is what I would do.
Post # 5
Yes, we were invited. The groom has been talking to my FI for months about us being there. For some reason I really can’t stand verbal wedding invites. This came up when we were talking about our guestlist and having last minute invites…it just irks me. I’m not mad we didn’t get an invite, I just think it’s awkward because I have no idea what is going on with the wedding.
Anyway, I think we’ll get them something, but I can’t afford to spend a fortune, so it will probably be in the $50 range.
Post # 6
You can go in on a gift with the other couples if you want to, but it has nothing to do with how many invitations were sent. Peggy Post to the contrary — whose great-grandmama-in-law Emily would have apoplexy over some of the things promulgated by the Post Institute if she weren’t already dead — there is no gift-obligation incurred by receiving an invitation , not even if you choose to accept it. Gifts are always optional — that’s why nicely-reared people appreciate them so unjudgementally.
So since it’s optional anyway, it’s optional whether or not to give a solo gift or a group gift, too.
Post # 7
generally if i’m invited with my parents, my parents give the big gift so i dont have to.
like if a distant cousin invites me, i dont give a separate gift – my parents will give $800 or $1000 to cover our whole family
Post # 8
I think a $50 gift or contributing to a group gift is fine. My parent usually get a gift from the family as a whole. I would take to the others and see what they want to do.
Post # 9
bring a gift each or 1 per couple. it’s cheap and rude to give one gift for 6 people unless it’s of the value of 6 people. Basic rule of thumb is every guest should contribute their own meal.
Generally, my husband and i would put in about $100 each as this is an approximate value of reception per head.
Post # 10
It’s entirely personal preference. Guests give group gifts all the time where various people chip in to get one large/expensive gift and then sign the card from everyone in that group. It’s not rude to do so. Do what works best for your financial situation.