- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
Hive, please help me!
This may sound like complete wedding blasphemy to some, but I hate photo slideshows. Especially when I play a starring role in them. When I say hate, I don’t mean hate like “I hate cauliflower” (because you can just melt some cheese on that and we’re good to go), I mean it like, “I hate Crossfit.” Because to me sitting through a photo slideshow is like being forced to perform rapid-fire squat-thrusts and burpees. No fun, no way.
My FMIL just emailed me asking for “lots of pictures” and “several good songs” so that her DJ nephew can create our rehearsal dinner slideshow (oh, but don’t worry about childhood pics, because she’s already emailed my folks about those). And now I am laying awake with vivid images of twirling transitions and grainy fade-outs of old pics of me in braces playing to Journey while I sit in mortified horror and guzzle red wine, praying for the whole thing to be over. The words in her email that really scared me were “lots” and “several” because those only mean one thing: this slideshow is going to be long.
I just can’t help it. No matter how I try to find the inherent cuteness, the idea of forcing all our wedding party members and close family to sit and watch a slideshow of us “through the years” makes me cringe. I suppose it’s mainly (ugh, I hate even typing this) because that family has a major tendency for tackiness. Yup, I’m a snot. I said it. FMIL had FI’s medical school graduation party catered by Spanky & Buckwheat’s (who names a catering company that?!), if that gives you any idea of how they roll. Combine that with my own parent’s knack for digging up THE WORST photos ever taken of me to display in public (Poopy, overlfowing diaper shot for senior day in my sorority? Check!), and I’m literally sweating just thinking about it!
The FI told me I was being a little snotty and if I didn’t want to have a slideshow, I needed to provide other doable ideas for his mom (because I have time to add another project to my DIY list). I’m a graphic designer, so of course I can think of all sorts of cool illustrated timelines and the like, but none of that is really doable for FMIL. So I turn to you, oh Wise Hive. Please give me ideas that I can suggest to FMIL and spare myself from sure mortification the day before my wedding!