Alternatives to bouquet toss and garter

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Bouquet and Garter toss
    Toss bouquet and garter regular style (but hand garter to groom) : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Toss bouqeut and garter to marrieds (hand garter to groom) : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Married couples dance, longest married wins : (20 votes)
    63 %
    Other? Please let me know? : (6 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @HourThyme:  I never heard of the married couples giving advice, but I love it!!!

    We are doing the couples dance.

    Post # 4
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @HourThyme:  I voted for the anniversary dance, because that’s what we did!  My grandparents won at 63 years.  (My husband had to sub in for my grandpa because he left early.)


    Post # 5
    19 posts
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I think the longest married couple idea is really neat! Then maybe combine that with the advice idea and have the longest married couple give some advice or words of wisdom about what has kept their marriage going for so long. 

    Just to throw out some other suggestions(it’s your wedding though, do what YOU want!) :
    How about putting the garter lower on your leg or even around your ankle so that he doesn’t have to go so far up your dress? 

    A tradition we have here (Colombia) is that all the single men put a shoe under the skirt of the bride’s dress and the husband then randomly grabs one and that is the next person to be married. Not sure how much poof your dress has or how many single men will be guests at the wedding (maybe it would be too many shoes to fit under your dress?) but just an idea. 

    Maybe research other customs from around the world and see if any of those interest you.  

    Post # 6
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    i have to say i absolytely HATE HATE HATE the married couple dance. My grandmother lost my grandfather and technically they would “win” but since he passed she would’t be able to participate and that would be so cruel to me. I think it’s a terrible idea. I was looking for ideas too because i hate the idea of having all the single women in my party having to get up and scramble over a bouquet; mainly because i remember doing it and feeling so incredibly stupid. It’s a spectacle. We’re not doing the garter toss because i dont want people watching my husaband up my dress and i’ll be giving a breakaway bouquet to my mother, my grandmothers, his mother and his grandmothers. It’s just a way to celebrate the most important women in our lives. 

    Post # 7
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We just didn’t do any tosses. We didn’t have many singles. And I just don’t really like the tosses. I’ve never once seen someone actually catch a garter. Inevitably, they fall to the floor 3 feet in front of the guys and then there is an awkward wait until someone goes and picks it up. Usually a 6 year old. 

    As for the mermaid dress and him getting the garter. Every bride I’ve known has slid the garter down to the knee/calf/ankle prior to the groom removing it, so they didn’t have to search too much. And he doesn’t need to get under the dress. He can just kneel in front of you and take your foot in his hand and use the other hand to retrieve the garter. Grooms getting under the skirt is way awkward for me to watch.

    I like the idea of tossing to married couples and asking for advice. I find it a bit depressing for singles/divorcees/widows to watch the anniversary dances.

    The only other idea I have is, I think, a Japanese thing. You tie a ribbon to the bouquet. Then you tie ribbon to cute little trinkets. You hold the bouquet and all the trinkets and give each girl a ribbon end. Then you yell 1-2-3 and on 3 you let go and all the girls pull their ribbon and whoever has the ribbon attached to the bouquet gets the bouquet and the rest of the girls get the trinkets. 

    Post # 8
    708 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Instead of a bouquet toss I’m doing a cake pull…there are charms on ribbons put into the cake and single ladies each pull one out. A ring for marriage, horseshoe for good luck, 4 leaf cover for money, etc. My FMIL is from New Orleans and this is popular there. I’ll do it as a of to her family:) 

    Post # 9
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @LivingInPink99:  this is what I’m doing as well. She is very southern (a NOLA native, as well) and we are trying to bring in as many southern traditions as possible.

    I don’t like either the garter or bouquet toss, and we also won’t have many single guys. My mother is adamant about it, though. I’ve just decided its on the list of things to not discuss 😉 I’m thinking of leaving my bouquet at my grandparents gravesite, as he just passed last month. I don’t know what to do about the garter.

    Post # 10
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee

    I like the traditional toss of bouquest and garter, but maybe hand the garter to your groom instead. What if you did a twist on it? I was a a wedding where they attached a spa gift card onto the bouquest (or a lottery tickiet maybe) and did something a little more sterotypically manly for the guys (Homedepot), that way everyone was involved married or not, and people did not feel as awkward about the whole thing.

    Post # 12
    45 posts
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I don’t plan on doing any of the tosses as we will only have about 6 single people out of about 110 and I hate the attention it draws. However, the married couples dance is nice, but it just wouldn’t work for me as my mom is no longer living my dad has been married and divorced and it doesn’t seem like a good fit for us. Just think about what would work best for you and your family…I don’t think that most people would miss it if you didn’t do most of those things with no replacement.

    Post # 13
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @yupitsME:  Just wanted to tell you how much the 6 single people at your wedding will appreciate that.  Once the MOH and I were the ONLY single ladies at the whole wedding for the bouquet toss- it was one of the most embarassing moments of my life!  Thanks for not doing that to someone!

    Post # 14
    236 posts
    Helper bee

    I went to a wedding where the bride and groom handed the next couple getting married on the books (me and my FI)  a bottle of champagne with a funny garter tied around it. BOOM done. 

    Post # 15
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I just saw a great thing: dj calls out all ladies over age 18 (married and single) and tosses a bouquet with lottery tickets tied to it, then did the same w a garter and the guys. They called it “good fortune toss.” It was great cause it got everyone involved. There will be very few single ppl at my wedding and we’re at the age where we don’t want it highlighted that someone is single. What usually is a waste at weddings suddenly became a riot to see everyone fight over the lottery tickets! everyone wins! 

    And im im not letting him take the garter off in front of everyone. No sir.

    Post # 16
    873 posts
    Busy bee

    I just didn’t do these things and did not worry at all about any replacement of them. i do like the married couples dancing but i understand what @daniellemc:  said and would hate to make my grandma or any old lady feel sad! I guess you know best your guests and whether that would be a problem

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