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Stressed, Panic Ridden and Going nuts!

Alternatives to Dancing @ Reception?

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
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    Helper bee
    indecisivebride    09/27/08   Seattle, WA

    I don't think I want to have any dancing at the reception.  I just never really enjoyed the dancing part at weddings, so I don't see why I would have dancing at my own wedding.  I just want to spend time mingling with my guests :)

    Has anyone else skipped dancing altogether?  Any ideas what we can do after dinner/cake cutting/toast?  

    I didn't think it would be a problem to just mingle and eat/drink for the entire time, but others think I should provide something to do for the guests or they just might start leaving.  We thought about hiring a caricature artist for a few hours, doing a paebek ceremony (I'm Korean, but my finance is not, so it might be fun), karaoke,  or having a gaming area (rock band or guitar hero).  What should I do?

    Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

     
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    Helper bee
    SoCalBeachGirl    07/07   Boston, MA

    I think it's totally fine to do something different if you don't want to set up a dance floor.  The gaming area is a brilliant way to bring things into the 21st century for those that would be interested.

    For those who think everyone will leave if there's no dancing, point out that at most weddings, there's always a big group of  guests who leave the minute the dancing starts because they're not into dancing.  So either way, people are going to leave when they want to no matter what.

    At our wedding, we had a dance floor, but also set up a lounge area with big ottomans and low cocktail tables.  We also set up a foosball table, pool tables and tall cocktail tables around the games ...all of this in an effort to get people up from their tables and mingling, and have something else besides dancing.

    Incorporate things that you like and your guests will definitely appreciate it.

     
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    Sweeney2Be    Aug 23, 2008   Twin Cities Minnesota

    I would at least have some music, weather you pre program a playlist on iTunes or something, back ground noise is always good!!!

    I do have to say that I would be a little taken aback if I arrived to not find dancing to be apart of the respection at all (brain washed...lol wedding = dancing! LOL), a lot of people look forward to it and you may be questioned through out the night on it. Maybe you could offer it, but not as the "main entertainment" - as some might really want to dance...just a thought.

    I think kareoke sounds fun but that (and this is JUST me) the gaming thing seems to not fit with weddings. I know I woulnd't want to arrive to a wedding, dressed formally with my FI and have him off playing video games all night. It sounds like more or a grooms dinner thing, if anything at all. I try to get my man to STOP playing so we can go out....know what I mean?

    At least the kareoke gets everyone involved and having a good time togheter and will spark intrest to most everyone there - even those who don't sing will have fun watching others make fools of themself! Plus - who says people coulnd't dance while people sing!  

     
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    Worker bee
    Jenningsblue    October 4, 2008   Mississippi

    I am in the exact same boat.  FI and I aren't dancers and our space really doesn't allow room for a dance floor.  I was worried at first but then I remembered that the last three weddings I attended didn't have dancing either.  We are still going with background music.  When people ask I tell them we hadn't planned on it but I am not going to stop them either.  Dance between the tables, have fun!  So far no one has been rude about it.  Most of our guest know our venue and they are pretty understanding.

     
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    Worker bee
    birdieputt       chicago/los angeles

    in my experience, the older korean guests tend to leave right after the meal is served anyway.  but how about a photobooth?  i think rock band is super fun... but it might distract the guests' attention too far away from the bride and groom. 

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    1. Alternatives to Dancing @ Reception? :  wedding Img 2009-06%20Shona%20Wedding%20and%20prep.jpg (41.7 KB, 84 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    I've only been to 2 weddings that did not have dancing and I found them both to be very boring.  In both cases everyone just sat at their tables until it was time to go home (which felt like it couldn't come soon enough).  I agree with Sweeney2Be that I equate weddings with dancing.  In my experience the weddings I had the most fun at were the ones where everyone danced the night away.

    I know a bride who had karaoke at her afterparty and everyone loved it, so that could be fun.  However, you may have trouble getting guests to stand up in front of every other guest at the reception to sing.

    As for video games, I think it's a bad idea.  (totally sterotyping here) All the guys will go play video games and all their dates will be hanging around waiting to leave.  Video games aren't really conducive to mingling because people are concentrating on playing- not chatting.

    If you just want everyone to mingle I suggest that you have some obvious break in the evening that gets people out of their seats after dinner.  For example, can you serve dessert/coffee in another area of the venue?  I think the lounge idea is a good one.  It's awkward to just stand between tables and you feel rude leaving your tablemates to talk to someone else.

    I think it may be a challenge if you don't have a sociable crowd.  Good Luck!

     
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    sourceofjoy    September 1, 2008   Baltimore, MD

    We're having an outside afternoon wedding and I'm not really into the dancing either.  A friend of mine is an amazing singer/songwriter and she's going to be playing her guitar and singing for some of the reception.  And I figure people can mingle, listen to her play for a good portion of the reception time.  Also I'm thinking about setting up a volleyball net and/or a few other outside games set up.  Think of the fun pictures of us playing volleyball - bride and maids against groom and groomsmen! 

     
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    amysue    6/6/09  

    Have lots of great food and lots of alcohol along with some background music, and you should be good to go.

     
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    Helper bee
    vyeta7      

    I don't think gaming has to mean video games.

    Option 1: Gambling but of course not for money.  Maybe for tokens that could be redeemed for candy at the end of the night or just for bragging rights.  Roulette, craps, poker, blackjack could be tons of fun and I am pretty sure there are vendors that rent the equipment and staff the games.  We had a black tie event with those types of games and it was glamorous and a lot of fun.

    Option 2: Traditional games:  sorry!, shoots and ladders, clue, etc.  You could label each table with a game and then after the tables are cleared people could play the game at their table or switch seats with someone else.

    Option 3: (This would work well with a place with an outdoor space.) Fair type games: ring toss, tossing darts at the baloons, ring toss, those floating ducks, dress-up photobooth.

    I think these all could be so much fun... but they would definitely take some preparation and money. Definitely don't expect your family to "man" all of these activities.

     
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    Blushing bee
    MegK    June 27, 2009   Somerville, MA

    I actually disagree with the posters who don't like the video game idea. The fun thing about Rock Band and Guitar Hero and the Wii and other such things is that they seem to transcend the stereotypes associated with video games. You could also think about Dance, Dance Revolution, which is hilarious to watch. Video games could make for some great photo op and people definitely will mingle since they will be watching the hilarity. 

    Socalbeachgirl, did your venue come with foosball tables and such? I think me and the FI would love to do that at our reception, but there are very few places I've found thus far that actually come equipped. Apparently weddings aren't supposed to be fun or something :p

     
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    happyOCgirl    July 12, 2008   Orange County

    I am having a luncheon reception without dancing.  We are having a tour of the mission (even with actors!) next to our Church right after the ceremony.  We wanted something a little different and we knew we didn't want dancing.  I think whatever works for you and your guests is perfect. There is a lot that's expected at weddings because "everyone does it", but I think it's *great* to be different and unique!

     
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    rebecca    September 13, 2008  

    i agree with rosychicklet. if there were video games, the people into video games would be playing and the people not into it would be standing around watching them play. sort of boring, imo (i'm usually the one standing there watching my FI pretend he's a rock god when he's playing guitar hero). vyeta's ideas could definitely work though! if you're going to do games, i'd make them something everyone would like and get involved in.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Janna19    June 7, 2008   New York

    I think the options will depend on your dress and time of day.  If the wedding is formal and in the evening games won't work as well as a casual daytime affair. 

    If it is an evening wedding and formal, you could transform your space into a cool lounge with drinks, music, couches, maybe a slideshow in the background??

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    1. Alternatives to Dancing @ Reception? :  wedding Img Steamers_4.jpg (8.1 KB, 187 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Alternatives to Dancing @ Reception? :  wedding Img Steamers_3.JPG (27.8 KB, 109 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    caliocteach    8/9/2008   California

    We went to a wedding this summer at a winery in Temecula, and they didn't have dancing.  After the ceremony there was a cocktail hour with a wine bar and hors'douvres.  There was a guy with a mini piano/synthasizer thing that sang -- kind of like a lounge singer.  After that we all went in for dinner, watched a slide show, ate, mingled, and talked.  It was like a formal cocktail party.  The bride said she wanted something "classy".  It was nice, the singer was great and all the guests loved him!

     
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    SoCalBeachGirl    07/07   Boston, MA

    MegK, our wedding planner rented the foosball and pool tables to bring into the venue, along with the lounge furniture.  It was fairly reasonable, about $1,000 for all the table games.

    The concept we went for was to create different spaces for people with different interests.  Not everyone likes dancing.  Think of the weddings you've been too...there's usually a small group that dances all night long.  Some will join in for a song or two here and there, but there's a large portion that won't dance.

    If you set up an area for Guitar Hero, etc., I don't think the idea is to have EVERYONE at the wedding involved, but it would be great for the people who want to do it and fun for a few people to watch, too.  But agree that there should be some background music going on and some other activities, too, like a photobooth, etc. 

    And the bride & groom and mingle around to each area to talk to everyone.

     
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    cyshas    April 12, 2008   White Plains, NY; married in Arizona

    My asian relatives didn't have dancing.  They actually had a lot of newlywed games throughout the night to keep guests entertained. 

     
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    indy    June 6, 2008   Los Angeles

    We are renting roulette, craps, and blackjack tables because we are not into dancing also. And we cannot imagine our friends and family will be filling out the dance floor either. However, both sides of our families and our friends loves Vegas games. We will be giving the 3 people with the most chips at the end of the night some nice prizes, so hopefully that will encourage everyone to stay.

     
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    staceyb    may 10, 2008   los angeles

    i want to put decks of cards on each table, with little notes saying "we love to play card games - enjoy a game on us!" with little cards with directions for some of our favorite games... the FI says this is cheesy though. whatever, he might lose in this one! :) we might have room for dancing, but i doubt a lot of our family will dance, so i want there to be something for them to do!

     
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    quickbrownfox       dallas, tx

    My fiance and I are Asian and we are not going to have dancing either! You shouldn't be worried about people who equate wedding with dancing. I think it's totally OK not to have dancing. For us, instead of first dance we will be singing duet together. We are also trying to create the song ourselves.

    I have also been thinking about that karaoke idea... but still unsure about the technical stuff.  

     As long as you have some nice background song or a band going on... you should be fine :)

     
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    Candi1024    05/24/2008   Hunlock Creek, PA

    I don't think you have to have dancing, but definitaly plan something else for your guests to do.  Even when we have an informal BBQ at home, the music is playing, the pool is open to the kids or whoever (skinny dippers later at night!), lots of alcohol, often fireworks, ping-pong table, air hockey table, sports on TV, horseshoes, of course food, ect.

     
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    chrissie      

    Well, I think a large part of it depends on the time of day, the formality of your wedding, and your guests. We had a casual daytime wedding, and despite offering a (small) dance floor, only one couple other than us danced all afternoon! (Thank goodness we went for the iPod and not a band or DJ.) So it is all about knowing your audience, and if they like to dance.

    Search for Mrs. Gummi Bear's wedding on here - she had games for her guests. I like all of the suggestions on here, but it just depends on what you think interests your guests. If your crowd likes video games, go for it, but don't rule that out with the idea that only guys like video games. The Mr. has to pry me away from our PS3!

     
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    aiee      

    i'm not having dancing either, and no dancefloor (mostly because neither of us want to do a first dance, but if the option is there my mom will hector me until it happens or I cry, so i'm trying to avoid that situation). i wouldn't mind providing a space for other people dancing if i wasn't so sure my parents would be jerks about it. so, to get people out of their seats and talking to other people, we're having a dessert cocktail hour--everything passed on trays so they have to get up and talk to some new people (our friends are, for the most part, socialable and good at talking to our families, and, also, not dancers either). we're still debating the game thing (most everyone we know loves scrabble)--there are great suggestions here!

     
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    t-blaz      

    We aren't dancers either, but we'll still have a floor and everything for those who are.  My FI is set on having putt putt in some form, and since our venue has plenty of space for the amount of guests that we have, he's looking into renting or building a "mobile" putt putt course with a few holes.  I was thinking of having personalized score cards, and if someone makes a hole in one, we have to kiss!  But we are really random, too :)

     
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    ecochicbride    july 5, 2008   San Francisco

    i went to a wedding and they hired actors to do a mystery dinner game like the game clue. it was cool, this gives your guests to interact and mingle because your going around asking questions and seeing how solved the mystery.  they had a map and put pins on locations of guests that travelled from different cities & states. It was fun, I never seen that at a wedding but we had a great time. Definitley at least have music playing in the background or it will be just too much silence and awkwardness.  music sets a mellow tone for people to unwine and enjoy themselves.  we really had fun b/c it was a wedding where we didn't really know anyone at all accept for the couple. definitely some type of entertainment will be good.

     

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