- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Evening, bees! 🙂
I was just thinking about that saying “Always a bridesmaid, never the bride” and that movie with Kathrine Heigel (something about 30 dresses or something, right?), and wondering if it happens to guys as well. Everyone always focuses on how special the day is for the woman, but nobody seems to realize how important it can be for the men, especially single men who want to meet a partner and get married (in this case, the single men in the bridal party).
Long story short, there are a couple guys in our party who I think are having those moments. One of them is on my side, he has been my friend since highschool and he broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years about 2.5 years ago and hasn’t been on any dates since or met anyone new. His ex, who he is still friends with, has moved on with her life and is living with her new bf, who is totally awesome. But it’s awkward, too, because they will all be at the wedding (that said, his ex and her new bf come over to his house for game nights often, so it’s not like I’m pushing them into a situation they don’t voluntarily engage in on their own). My friend, I think, regrets his decision and sees what a mistake he made (and it really was a mistake. I’m friends with them both but he screwed up, lol). When I originally asked him to be in the bridal party, he wanted some time to think about it because ours will be the third wedding he’s attending this year. He told FI’s best woman (we are all a pretty tight knit group) that he felt flabbergasted that all of these people around him are moving on with their lives and getting married and he has gone nowhere, in his own mind. It makes me sad for him because he’s a sweetie, and he deserves someone special to be with. I want him to be happy.
The second guy is on FI’s side, he is FI’s friend (also friends with all of our mutual friends) from college. FI knows most of our circle from college, and everyone has sort of migrated out this way from California, oddly. Recently, FI’s friend got a job in NYC and he has taken the train down here to our area for many events, so I’ve gotten to know him better over the time planning. He is just an absolute peach of a person, like a giant teddy bear. He and FI actually use to be each other’s wingmen back in the day, lol. Unfortunately, he’s the guy that is always stuck in the friend zone. The other night we were all having a FB chat with FI’s other groomsman and that guy’s wife, and the groomsman said “Enjoy your autonomy, [FI’s friend]! Take it all while you can!” to which FI’s friend replied, “I guess the grass is greener. :(“
Our mutual friends are all etiher already married, or are together in serious relationships, or are getting married. These guys are seeing all of their friends from highschool and college pair off, and some of our friends have started having children. I know they feel left behind.
So why does nobody ever take them into consideration? It makes me sad. I don’t really know what the point of this is, I guess just maybe to talk to people who aren’t involved in our tiny circle, lol. I wish I knew some upstanding single chicks with whom to hook these guys up, they are both just wonderful.
Have any of you had friends like this? Did it work out for them in the end? Did it cause any weirdness? I hope they find someone soon!