(Closed) Always money update and BREAK UP :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am really sorry sweetie! if you feel that he was emotionally abusive, it is best that you leave. They never change if you ask me. I was in one and it was horrible. I am glad I left him before we got married. 

You need a man who wont count penny and abuse you in any form. 

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time. As much as it sucks, though, take comfort in the fact that if you and he really aren’t going to work out, you are vastly better off if you get out before rather than after marriage. There is something better out there for you.

Post # 5
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First off, hugs (BIG hugs (HUGE HUGS)) to you. Good for you standing up for yourself and realizing that you deserve to be treated better. I know it hurts now, but you should be proud of having stood up for yourself and demanding to be treated better. You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you. I am really sorry you’re hurting.

Post # 6
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

(( HUGS ))

I feel for you… breakin up is hard to do.

BUT if a guy is disrespecting you (and it certainly sounded / sounds like he is on so many levels) then leaving now rather than 5, 10, or 20 years from now is the right choice.

Give your heart some time to grieve… 7 years is a lonnnnng time.

My best advice because I’ve been down this road is… read the following 2 Books, because they’ll help you to see what a HEALTHY Relationship is supposed to look like (and some good advice on how to find one)

Dr Phil’s *Find the One You Want – Fix the One You Got* …

Tnis book has great info on how to make a life plan to find your TRUE Mr Right… sort of like Mr Bee’s Post here on WBee about “Waiting” (it will also clearly show you that the guy you were with had too many issues “to fix’).

AND

Greg Behrendt’s *He’s Just Not That Into You* …

This book will show you how to get the love you DESERVE… and the respect that goes with it.

AND my last bit of advice is my own… based on what happened to me.

After my Ex and I broke up after 25+ Years together, I was truly gutted.  I had recently seen Oprah on Tv and her feature on *The Secret* and how we can attract into our life what it is we truly want / need.  I laughed at the whole idea a bit… but had nothing to lose.  So I made a list of what I was truly looking for in a man.

It was a couple of years later, when I met Mr TTR, but honest to Gosh, he is 100% EVERYTHING that is on that list (right down to must like to dance, enjoy wine & food, love to travel, etc) … it truly blows me away everytime I take a look at it

So YES wishes do come true, and Dreams can happen if you have A PLAN.

Having A PLAN on what you are going to do to be the best you can be (so you can attract the best possible guy out there) is a way to fill up some time (both now in the short term, but also as a foundation for the future).  Sit down and think about what you’d like out of life… for me after my Seperation / Divorce I wanted to eat better, exercise, get back into sports, take better care of myself emmotionally, educationally and physically (hair, clothes etc) and also travel.  Because of these things, I started to feel better about me.  And feeling better about me, gave out positive energy around me, so I was attracting more positive people into my life.

You can do it… and please do check in with us here on WBee (you don’t have to be Engaged ya know to hang out here)… we’d all LOVE to know how you are doing.

Lol, if I can find a NEW me, and an amazing LOVE at 50+ Years Old, after spending 25 Years in an UNHEALTHY Relationship … I can assure you that you will too !!

 

Post # 7
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Oh my. Hugs. 🙁  I’m very sorry. 

In a couple of months, when you’ve had some time, read one of Suze Orman’s book- The Courage to be Rich has a couple of really great chapters on love & money.

It’s good that you realized this now. And things will get better, I promise! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well done.  Trust me hun you have done the right thing. I put up with exactly the same thing as you for 20 years!!!! I stayed that long as we had children and I felt at the time it ws the best thing to do. In hindsight I wish I had left sooner.  I now have a FAB fiance who treats me like a princess. I still pinch myself every day thining it is a dream and will not last. Life is too short to put up with that kind of crap. He is controlling just like my first husband. You are truly worth  sooooooo much more than the crap you have been getting. It wll be tough to start with but you MUST stick to your guns. `he will never change and will probably just get worse as time goes on.

Keep smiling xxxx

Post # 9
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You are better off.

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